My husband and I are currently TTC, so we’ve been thinking about name options for both genders.
My husband ADORES the name Tristran, and I tend to like it also, but I worry about how others would take it, because it is a bit awkward to pronounce.
Also, my friend has a son named [name_m]Triston[/name_m] (pronounced like [name_u]Tristan[/name_u]) and I worry it would be weird if we chose a name so close to her sons, but we also are a military family, and will only probably be living near her for another few years. She’s really overly nice, and I know if I ask her she will tell me it’s totally fine, but I wonder what others opinions on this would be, as I think her need to be nice would overwhelm her need to be honest.
Thanks!
EDIT: What about Tristram? Same problem? I really like that extra “R” for some reason…
It sort of depends on your definition of a name. It’s from the book Stardust, by my husband’s favorite author.
I also like [name_m]Tristram[/name_m], which to me, still falls under the same issues of: Is it useable? Would he hate me for just not naming him [name_u]Tristan[/name_u]? Is it too close to [name_m]Triston[/name_m]?
I think most people will confuse this name with [name_u]Tristan[/name_u] - I know I kind of did a double take when reading your post title. If your friend’s baby is named [name_u]Tristan[/name_u], I think Tristran is way too close.
Honestly I thought you had mistyped [name_u]Tristan[/name_u]. I fear this is a problem a Tristran is going to come across a lot. [name_u]Tristan[/name_u] is rather popular for children at the moments - I think the mis-spelling issue is more prevalent because of that.
I adore [name_u]Tristan[/name_u] but if your friends are good friends, people you feel you would be friends with for the rest of your lives, even if they didn’t live a block over. Then it is too close to [name_m]Triston[/name_m] if you are worried about stepping on their toes. If they are friends of proximity - no matter how sweet and accommodating - I wouldn’t worry too much about the names being too close. Chances are (if you are both military families) that one of you will be reposted in a couple of years and you will grow apart. In which case I really wouldn’t worry about the names being too close. Honestly, if Tristran is THE name I would give them a heads up but I wouldn’t ask for permission. It’s the name your son will have for the rest of his life, and YOU need to love it.
Side stories: a) I grew up with two [name_m]Scott[/name_m]'s that were best friends and whose parents were close and they both loved the name - the boys thought it was amazing to have the same name as each other and I never heard from either of the parents that they had issues with the other boy having the same name. I wouldn’t find it ideal but I also don’t think it’s insurmountable. b) in college our group of friends had a [name_f]Katy[/name_f] and a [name_f]Katie[/name_f]. We started calling them Y and IE and they loved it. We used to split teams by if you had a y or an i/e in your name - they always became team captains and we made a big joke out of it. You could do the same with [name_m]TristOn[/name_m] and [name_m]TristrAm[/name_m]. Or they are like [name_f]Alpha[/name_f] and [name_u]Omega[/name_u]. Find a way to make it cute and make them sort of equal instead of fighting over who has more ownership over the name and it doesn’t have to be such a big thing.
She is a friend of proximity, totally. We PCS’d here at the same time, so I figure we’ll be living down the street from each other for the next two years or so. We probably only see each other once a week, tops.
My husband’s name is [name_u]Schuyler[/name_u], and he has been called Shoo-Ler by everyone his whole life, and hasn’t really minded correcting people, which is why despite the fact I worry about the mispronunciations and confusion, he thinks it’ll be fine and a Tristran would love his name like he loves his.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you think [name_m]Tristram[/name_m] would be less confusing? Or would it be the same issue?
I prefer [name_m]Tristram[/name_m], which I really like. Unfortunately, I think that either [name_u]Tristan[/name_u] or [name_m]Tristram[/name_m] would be often confused for [name_u]Tristan[/name_u]. It doesn’t make them unusuable, but it would be something you would have to deal with if you were to use one of them.
I see [name_m]Tristram[/name_m] as an older version of [name_u]Tristan[/name_u], and Tristran I heavily associate with the [name_u]Neil[/name_u] Gaiman novel Stardust, so it just feels like a more recent invention to me. However, I think this might be a bit of a name nerd bias. I suspect that most people would probably see them as equally unusual.
Tristran is from Stardust.
[name_m]Even[/name_m] though it was technically invented by [name_u]Neil[/name_u] Gaiman, I love the sound of it.
I love [name_m]Tristram[/name_m] too, but my husband is really pushing for Tristran.
I think [name_m]Tristram[/name_m] is a little less confusing because it doesn’t feel so much like a typo but a purposeful spelling.
And yeah, as a friend of proximity, I don’t think you need to change your name choices at all. Stick with what you love!
I’m curious to know what you decided? We named our son Tristran, I always loved [name_u]Tristan[/name_u] and [name_m]Tristram[/name_m], but [name_u]Tristan[/name_u] is too common and that extra r has such an appeal. [name_u]Neil[/name_u] Gaiman is our favorite author, so much so, that our daughter’s name is [name_f]Coraline[/name_f]. I love telling people our son’s name, and I have to correct them all the time. I even got scolded once for adding an extra letter, even though the letter is functional…
