Okay, I need to talk about this subject with other moms. [name]Rowan[/name] is very attached to her pacifier, mostly at night and during car rides but she does want it all throughout the day. She has been using the Gumdrop kind that are all silicone since she was born and refuses to use any with hard plastic pieces. Lately she has been biting them and making little tears in the nipple. I thought it was because she needed the orthodontic kind, so I went out and bought a pack of them. She liked them but still bit through the nipple. So, my question is… should I just stop giving her a pacifier all together? Or just at bedtime? Or should I buy some of the hard plastic kind and only offer them to her in hopes she’ll just drop the habit herself? When did your kids give up the pacifier and how did you go about it?
Its a tough one. If you get her the hard plastic ones she may continue biting anyway, and with the harder teat, she may end up chipping her teeth. Obviously tearing into the soft ones isn’t ideal but its better than her chipping her teeth! Maybe if you cut down usage to only naps/bedtime it may reduce?
My little girl gave up her pacifier (or dummy, as we call it) the [name]Christmas[/name] after she turned two. We reduced how much she used it from the age of about 15months, to just during naps and bedtime and when she was poorly. Then, during [name]Christmas[/name], we told her every day that Father [name]Christmas[/name] was going to come on [name]Christmas[/name] [name]Eve[/name] and take her dummy to give to a new baby who had no dummy (silly, I know) and we made sure she understood.
On [name]Christmas[/name] [name]Eve[/name], she put her dummies under the tree herself for Father [name]Christmas[/name] to take. Over the coming days she was so distracted by gifts and visiting family that she completely forgot about it and weaning her off it was actually much easier than I expected.
I took it prom her purely from an orthodontic point of view, but I totally appreciate the benefits of pacifiers. There is no harm in them so long as they aren’t used on older children. They can help reduce SIDS, calm and comfort a baby and helped my baby sleep better, too. I know some moms are totally against them but I’m all for them, when used correctly and until an appropriate age.
I wish I could help. [name]Antoine[/name] double-fists his pacifiers: he has one in his mouth and walks around with two others in each hand, just in case.
Oh I am totally pro pacifier too. She had one since the day she was born and I give it credit for her sleeping longer and better when she was younger. I know parents who were very strict NO PACIFIER people with their baby and that poor thing cried all the time, wanted to nurse every 10 minutes because he was trying to soothe himself. So hard to be around and not be able to really say anything…
She uses it at bedtime now, but I’ve noticed when I check on her at night that it’s usually fallen out of her mouth and she doesn’t wake up or anything. So it’s mostly become a comfort thing during the day. I have tried to keep them from her for a few hours but she always whines and “asks” for it later in the evening, especially after a bath. She’s 18 months old and before I had her, I was always one of those “My child won’t have a pacifier past the age of one” kind of people but now I’m thinking more like “Definitely by 2… maybe” 
Haha… [name]Rowan[/name] used to do that too. I’m having an internal debate with myself over it, because some people are so anti pacifier and when they see a toddler with a pacifier they immediately start whispering and scolding. And I used to be the same way. But now, it seems like kids who have pacifiers and wean themselves off gradually, are better at soothing themselves and aren’t as needy. Maybe I’m making her more emotionally mature? I do worry about the orthodontic repercussions though.
Well if you don’t mind waiting until she’s 26 months you could try pinkballarina’s “[name]Santa[/name] is giving them to someone else” strategy.
I’d say you can definitely encourage less use until then but I wouldn’t force her into something she’s not ready for. And who knows maybe one day she’ll wake up and just say no more, sounds odd but I did that both for pacifiers and diapers. I think if you listen to your kid she’ll let you know though maybe not as directly as I let my mom know. (I literally said “no more diaper. no dicusson.”)
Re: orthodontics: remember, she has baby teeth. They’ll be replaced in a few years.
Not a mom yet, but I work at a day care and most kids are off by a year an a half. Those you aren’t 2-3 are very attached, it is policy that they only have them during nap, but it is hard to do much when you have a child crying for a paci, they don’t need at this point. That and many of their teeth are coming in funny from overuse.
That being said, reducing the time it is used is the best way to start and when whiny for it, distractions are key. I would try by 3 for sure to be weaned and when you are weaning. Get rid of them all, don’t keep a back up, once you give in once, they will keep asking. But it sounds like you are on the right path!
I’ve seen the Supernanny due a variant of the santa idea, saying “The [name]Paci[/name] fairy is coming to collect pacis to bring to the little babies. You aren’t a little baby, you’re a big girl! Let’s go find all the pacis for the paci fairy!” And make a fantasy game out of it. Hang the pacis in a tree and tell her the fairy will come at night to take them. the next morning, wake her up saying “The fairy came! lets see what she left us!” and have some sparkles or ribbons to make it more magical, and have a fun little gift like a magic wand, a coloring books with crayons, etc.
Since your [name]Rowan[/name] is so little, she might not really understand. If she starts asking for the paci during the day, maybe distract her with a game or some other activity until she forgets? Save the paci for sleeptime.
I think you are forgetting that if you have two choices with a child, ie dummy vs no dummy, breast vs formula you will be scolded and whispered about whichever one you go for!
My girls don’t have dummies and breastfeed and if they ever cry for any reason at all at any time you are accused of starvation, cruelty, denying them comfort for your big ego trip etc…babies with dummies cry too! I know, I’ve seen it and been tempted in my more deranged moments of sleep deprivation to compile a video montage on YouTube under that very title.
Oh, I’m not saying that pacifiers are wonderful and anyone who doesn’t use them is evil or anything. [name]Rowan[/name] cries and whines and throws tantrums with a paci in her mouth all the time. I think it is vital for some newborns and infants, but at this age she is just using them because that’s what she’s used to.
Right. I’m mostly worried about her speech development though. Sometimes I feel like she isn’t saying enough or her speech might be being stunted because she always has a pacifier in her mouth. The only words she says clearly are cat, trash, fish, hi, bye, and berries. All the other time it’s just babble still. I’m not sure what kind of vocabulary an 18 month old is supposed to have, or if she’s on track.
Could she be needing something to teethe on? My son was never into the pacifier (we gave him one, but he didn’t care about it, though fwiw not using one didn’t impede his sleep or make him fussier than paci- using babies) but when he started teething, he took one of his friend’s pacis and started gnawing on it.
I took the pacifier away from DD cold turkey at 18 months. She didn’t even miss it. It was way easier than I thought it would be. Since your little one is biting through the nipple, I would take it away. Seems like a choking hazard to me.
Good luck, mama.
I wonder if she could be teething? Since she is chewing/biting them so hard.
e: I didn’t see someone else already brought up teething, sorry!
As for speech, have you talked to her pediatrician? My son has a speech delay and early intervention is amazing. This may not apply at all but if she really isn’t quite where she should be, a couple of months with speech therapy could make a huge difference.
Not a mum, just a nanny (so when I say “my” they technically aren’t my kids, but I dunno how else to phrase it)
My oldest was the same as [name]Rowan[/name], always wanted the pacifier; she always needed one in the mouth and one in each hand too! When she was about 15 months she also started biting through the nipples and her parents decided it was time to wean her off of them. We started doing a routine of pacifiers allowed at naptimes and bedtime. If she whined for it during the day, I reminded her that it wasn’t naptime yet and redirected her attention. At about 18 months we switched to pacifiers at bedtime only and she made the transition fairly well. By 20 months she was off them entirely.
The younger one, on the other hand, has never had a pacifier. [name]Both[/name] were able to soothe themselves just fine; the older one would suck on her pacifier, the younger hums to herself.
My biggest concern would be whether she could bite a piece of the nipple off and aspirate or swallow it. If she can, I’d say its time to take them away. But if not, then I say go with your gut?
Re: Orthodonture - pacifiers can indeed affect future orthodontic needs. It isn’t simply the teeth affected; prolonged use will change the shape of the palate, misalign the jaws, and alter the natural positioning of tongue and lip muscles, which can cause speech issues down the road. (This is more in response to someone above who said it was only baby teeth affected; an 18 month old on a pacifier isn’t a huge concern, but a 2 and a half year old or older probably would be)
I’m not an orthodontist but I’m fairly certain that most of these issues rarely develop in children who stop using pacifiers at a “normal” age which most orthodontist place at 2-4 years, esp if the child uses an orthodontically correct pacifier. When they talk about prolonged use they usually mean 4+ years. If you are really worried about it call an orthodontist and make an appointment - they will probably tell you that your daughter is too young for you to worry about it but at least you can have your questions visa-vie complications answered by a professional instead of internet gossip. (I had two major jaw surgeries and thus still go to the orthodontist regularly and I see parents with younger children there all the time).
Re the point about speech, when [name]Amelie[/name] started speaking we simply wouldn’t pay her any attention if she tried to speak with the dummy in her mouth. We would ask her to remove it, saying something along the lines of “Mummy can’t hear you properly with your dummy in your mouth, please take it out and say that again”.
If she refused to take it out and continued speaking with it in her mouth, we would simply ignore her until she took it out.
It sounds harsh but after a couple of weeks she got into the habit of taking it out if she wanted to say something, which helped her speech imo.
[name]Just[/name] a thought 
My sister did this to my niece last [name]Christmas[/name]. She said that Father [name]Christmas[/name] was coming to collect her Dummy (Pacifier) because she was getting a big girl now and didn’t need it any more, and Father [name]Christmas[/name] will swap it for toys. My niece was a bit reluctant about giving her dummy at first, but as soon as ‘Father [name]Christmas[/name]’ took it she never asked for it again which I was extremely surprised at because she loved it so much.
What we did was tie the dummy with ribbon and hanged it on the tree like the decoration, so it’s a activity you child can participate in too.
I’m not a mom or anything but my family still teases me about how long I stayed on binkies for. Seriously I was like 4! I still wanted one cause they just never took it away from me until finally my sister (8 years older) said NO! you’re too old… and just like that I quit the binky cold turkey.
Anyway, I’d say just ween her off of it slowly. Only let her have it at night, and just do as mrstoon said and distract her with something else.