All I had was (1) finish degree (2) find the right donor and (3) boudoir photo shoot 
I probably should have set more goalsā¦ Especially financial goals 
[name_f]My[/name_f] parents have a life insurance policy on me and we increased it, so that was goodā¦ I only set aside what I anticipated needing in order to conceive 
Once my mind was made up, I felt like I had waited long enogh and didnāt want to wait anymore (still gave birth pretty young, 2 months shy of turning 30).
Sorry, I forgot one, after reading the other responsesā¦ (4) lose some weight. I was able to lose 40lbs, which was good because I gained 50lbs in my pregnancy 
edited for privacy
Iām only slightly farther along this journey than you are, so I canāt take this from a āthings I wished I had knownā point. Instead, some things on our current list:
paperwork for it all.@GreenEyes375 thank you so much!! thereās so much amazing advice here, I couldnāt even begin to quote my favorite pieces!
@Wandarine omg, paperwork. yeah. ālearn how to open a savings accountā has to go above āopening a savings accountā on my listā¦
[name_f]My[/name_f] only thing on my pre-kid list was āMarrying the right guy.ā And that happened. A tad later then I expected it to, 29 with our first being born at 30. But in the years since Iāve seen friends of mine find their spouses and have kids a lot later then I got married and had kids. I was 37 when Iāve had my most recent and have people I went to school with announcing pregnancies even since so believe me you have time.
I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom before even meeting my hubby so things like education, and other financial related things werenāt of a concern. And my Mr. Right knew before we met he wanted to be able to support his wife to be able to stay home so he went into creating his life goals that helped him to be able to cover us financially.
I heard a message at my church just this week where the preacher said that one thing as a parent now he really appreciates was the time his own parents spent getting him to memorize scripture because the little tid bits of the Word have really ācome to his rescueā so to speak in his own times of need and to pass onto his children. So if I had to maybe add anything on my list, I kind of wish I was more versed on verses I could use to teach my kids in the moments that could help them and help me to parent them. But trying to start that now
I like this ideaāmaking a checklist. Iām so eager to be a mother, but I am also so anxious that Iāll never get the chance (somehow). A checklist and a single-parent-by-choice route are both totally appealing to me to think about.
Thinking about my checklist, Iād say these things are important to me:
Graduate with my BA. (Second step: Potentially will be going back for an educatorās masterās, so graduate with my MA goal lingering.)
Work, perhaps full-time; ideally part-time. Part-time work, however, would likely rely on a partnerās income to raise a child, too. Especially since I do not want a nanny nor foresee myself being able to pay for one where Iād likely live.
Move out of my parentsā houseāand live without roommates. (Ideally, this is a housing goal for me anyway, but definitely before Iām a parent!)
Build up savings. (Justā¦ all that I possibly can. This is pretty much a constant goal, lol.)
Get a new car. (My 2012 Mini-Cooper will not live to see the day I bring a baby home from the hospital!)
Establishāor begin to establish?āmy insurance plans for medical, home, and auto. (Ugh.)
Those are ideal. Iām not sure, exactly, when I can see myself having my first. Iām 20 now, and I suppose Iād like to have my first before Iāmā¦ 28? 30, certainly, if I could chooseāand I can, I suppose. Weāll see what happens, tooāmaybe Iāll be surprised! Either way, I pray that a snowmaiden birth announcement is in the cards within this next decade. 
@Alix2016 those are interesting goals 
my feeling is that I have my entire life to find the right person to be my spouse; I donāt have my entire life to have babies, at least not biologically. itās truly amazing that science and healthcare has grown in the way it has, and people are having babies later in life, but itās also harder on the body as someone gets older. just as well, I donāt want to wait until I might be too old to keep up with my child.
ive actually done a lot of looking into how I want to help my kids work through tough situations and problems. mental health will be just as important as physical health. im an atheist, recovering from my religious upbringing, but much more important to me is that I teach my children how to think, not what to think. I want them to be skeptical, and I hope that helps them in times of difficulty or confusion
aah how exciting it will be to see a snowmaiden birth announcement! maybe weāll be lucky enough to see each other in a babies due ā¦ thread!
im totally with you on the housing situation. my next step is to move in with my best friend in a roommate situation but I think weāll both want our own spaces by the time im having kids. I imagine two sides of a shared townhome? 
or maybe down the street because while sheās excited to be my kidsā auntie, she definitely doesnāt want any kids of her own lol
I used to consider being smbc as well, because years ago I also didnāt have much luck with dating. The problem is in my country, itās technically impossible to adopt or try ivf as a single parent. The other obvious, natural choice is even less ideal. Moreover, I wasnāt in a financial position to raise a kid anyway. Ended up postponing and postponing this āplanā until eventually canceled it. I met my now partner shortly after my 29th birthday.
Current checklist:
One former goal is to get a masterās first. Now I donāt know when/if Iāll actually go for one, but if I do Iād just have to figure out how to balance it with motherhood. Donāt want to wait longer than necessary.
So I had a plan for my life with a wonderful checklist and then life had other plans for me an it took me 15 months to conceive and then I had spontaneous twins including one with some medical conditions. So my first piece of advice is be flexible. 2029 is pretty far away and a lot of life can happen in 6 years.
Things I had on my list or wish I did before kiddos.
Marriage -
Stable job- I have a bachelorās in biology with a pre-vet/med track and my job is in food science, absolutely nothing I thought I would be doing when I graduated.
House and car- in my early twenties I had this [name_m]Nissan[/name_m] Sentra that would leave me on the side of the road all the time. I wouldnt want to do this with kids.
Financial stable- this was never set a set amount but just comfortable. Making sure our bills arenāt more than our income. This includes a mortgage and car payment we could afford. I know a lot of people who are house broke and car broke because they pay 1200 a month in car payments plus a 1800 mortgage.
I also wish we could of traveled more before my kids were born. Covid hit and kind of hindered that idea. Itās also a lot to travel with twin toddlers including one with epilepsy so we have that ok the backburner until they are a older.
Iām 28 & currently pregnant with baby #1.
The most important thing to me was getting married, which I did at 25. After we got married, I really wanted to finish grad school before having a baby. We did start TTC while I was still in school, once weād passed the point that I would at least graduate before the due date. That wasnāt the original plan, but COVID pushed my graduation back a year & we didnāt want to wait any longer to TTC. We started trying in September, I got pregnant in April, & I graduated in June.
Things like job & location are important, but for us much of that has settled for the better while Iāve been pregnant. My husband just started a new career thatāll be much more stable & the job switch allowed us to move closer to family. And now weāre in a more affordable city, so we can rent a 2bd apartment which is so much better than our old place. I suppose itās a bit different when going the IVF route (because of medical whatnot, the cost of it, etc.), but generally Iād say donāt feel like you have to have everything perfect before TTC.
When I was 24, I found out that I have the BRCA2 mutation so I have a very high chance of getting breast cancer & that risk would really kick in once I turned 30.
So in the appointment, the doctor asked me if I wanted kids. I said yes & heās like āGreat, donāt let this diagnosis stop you from having kids if you want to. But what you need to realize is that, if you do get breast cancer in your 30s, you will most likely survive it but you will almost certainly lose your fertility due to the chemotherapy & radiation that you would need to survive the cancer. So, if having kids is really important to you, then you need to start having kids before you turn 30.ā
And Iām like āWell, Iām not married yet. I donāt even have a boyfriend, soā¦ā
The doctor says āof course, Iām not telling you to go out & be foolish. Thereās things in your life that will have to be in place first. But you have to understand - if having kids is truly important to you, then you absolutely must start trying to conceive during your 20s. It has to be the priority. You donāt have the luxury of waiting until youāre 35, or even 32, because thereās a good chance you might be infertile by then. So whatever needs to happen in terms of dating or marriage before you can have kids, thatās something that needs to happen sooner rather than later.ā
So anyway, I was 24 then. I really didnāt know anyone I was interested in dating & I didnāt think Iād really meet anyone for a while just because of where I was in life then. I started thinking that maybe Iād never get to have kids. Well, a couple months later, my cousin set me up on a date, literally my first date in over 2 years at that point, and it worked 
we dated a year before getting engaged & then got married 4 months later.
Anyway, it just kinda struck me how youāre 24 & figuring youāll be a smbc because it made me think back to me being 24 thinking Iād never be able to have kids because I didnāt think Iād get married before 30. Now Iām 28, married, & pregnant! Things can change so quickly
And also, most of the checklist goes out the window when itās really a matter of ānow or maybe neverā. Otherwise, I wouldāve wanted to be more established in my career before TTC, have more savings, bought a house, etc. But none of those things are as important as being able to have children while I still can.
29, TTC, not going to have a baby before 30 by this stage, but hopefully before Iām 31.
[name_f]My[/name_f] goals were:
a bit of an updateā¦ not sure if itās necessary but for anyone who is interested
(also an excuse to respond to some of the people I didnāt get to a month agoāapologies!)
my friend has decided to postpone getting her masterās so our plans are hopefully moving up a year! at this point, we have a handful of potential places weād like to live, and plans to visit as many of these places as possible over the summer, with the intention of moving sometime in fall 2024. im really excited for this because it almost feels like my adult life can start once we move away? since itās not possible for me to stay and raise a family where I currently live, itās difficult to think about meeting people and dating because I know thereās always going to be that ticking clock of when I move away (far away), and I wouldnāt go into a relationship with the assumption that this person would move with me (or that this relationship would end in a year). also, hoping that where weāre moving will have better, safer LGBT policies 
@Sadie307 congrats on your pregnancy! I totally feel the pressure to have a baby before 30 (since thatās whatās kinda expected by older generations in my family), but I canāt imagine it being a physical, biological need.
I sincerely doubt that Iāll meet The One as you did while im 24 
sort of hoping I wonāt, since Iāll soon be moving anyway
@Maerad ive been thinking a lot about the traveling thing! most of the lists ive found include big partying cities, which wonāt be a problem for me because ive never been one for clubbing.
Deleted for privacy 
Reasonable! I think my thoughts were mostly pregnancy related rather than with a child, and thatās more about timing than the place itself!
Iād quite like to take my children to Japan when theyāre big enough, but I would have hated being there whilst pregnant.