I just wanted to gather people’s ideas on what names seem pretentious.
When reading through threads about my favourites every now and then the words pretentious and try hard would come up, and I would hate any future child of mine to be influenced by these perceptions.
However I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] these names and could never imagine naming my children in a different style.
What do you guys think? Is try hard always bad? And how come so many names out of the top 500-ish are labelled as pretentious?
[name_m]How[/name_m] do you get around the fact that you only love names that are perceived by others as pretentious?
For reference, the type of names I’m talking about are-
[name_f]Persephone[/name_f]
[name_u]Oberon[/name_u]
[name_f]Astoria[/name_f]
[name_f]Hermione[/name_f]
[name_f]Ariadne[/name_f]
[name_m]Evander[/name_m]
[name_m]Artemas[/name_m]
[name_f]Indira[/name_f]
[name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m]
[name_m]Ferdinand[/name_m]
[name_m]Atticus[/name_m]
[name_m]Barnabas[/name_m]
Out of those I think [name_u]Oberon[/name_u], [name_m]Artemas[/name_m], [name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m] and [name_m]Barnabas[/name_m] are quite pretentious. When I hear pretentious, I think snobby. So anything way over the top, really.
Try hard names are a different story. They,to me, are those names that people think are unusual, but everyone else is thinking the same thing, therefore, everyone ends up using the same ‘unusual’ name (ie [name_f]Lily[/name_f]-[name_f]May[/name_f].) Thats another try hard thing - double barrelled names, or silly made up spellings!
I adore pretentious names. I have never understood why out of all of the fantastic names to give your child, people are naming them [name_u]Ashley[/name_u] and [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f] and [name_u]Harper[/name_u].
And honestly, what is pretentious? Someone who gives off an air of being well educated and talented? Why is that not something we all want for our children? I just don’t understand.
Are they naming their kid [name_f]Persephone[/name_f] because they want to look smart or cool and cultured? If so, I think that’s pretentious. But if they genuinely like the name [name_f]Persephone[/name_f], then there’s nothing pretentious to me about it. [name_m]Just[/name_m] preference.
Honestly, name your child the “pretentious” names if that’s the style you like. Our thoughts on names tend to fade into the background when there’s a person attached to the name. So those who make not like the names themselves more than likely won’t have an issue with the child, unless the child ends up with a snotty and nasty personality. Try hard is a bit different to me, I always think of the misspelled “trying to be unique just to stand out” names. Again, this is all subject to opinion. For example carysmarie has the opinion that double barrel first names are “try hard” where as where I come from they’re extremely common and often are used to honor family members/grandparents/great grandparents. Not used to get attention or be unique. There’s no one size fits all opinion so use what type of name you like
The big names that I think of as pretentious are [name_m]Percival[/name_m], [name_m]Fitzwilliam[/name_m], [name_m]Kingston[/name_m], [name_u]Paris[/name_u], [name_u]London[/name_u], [name_f]Francesca[/name_f], [name_m]Alistair[/name_m] just to name a few. There are a few names on your list that I personally don’t think are pretentious.
[name_f]Persephone[/name_f] - nerd/history buff name due to Greek Mythology, slightly pretentious but not too much so
[name_u]Oberon[/name_u] - Not pretentious to me but I’m not sure what I would classify it as
[name_f]Astoria[/name_f] - Quirky, good for a book lover due to “story” being in the name
[name_f]Hermione[/name_f] - literary/nerdy due to the very well known HP reference
[name_m]Artemas[/name_m] - I think of Greek mythology’s [name_u]Artemis[/name_u]
[name_m]Atticus[/name_m] - literary but I can see it more here where it might lean towards pretentious
Pretentious - attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed.
characterized by assumption of dignity or importance, especially when exaggerated or undeserved
making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious.
full of pretense or pretension; having no factual basis; false.
The definition is why people tend to not like names in this category (or not like to have the name they like in that category). People generally don’t want a kid that’s full of themselves and isn’t humble
. Education and talent are great for children to have and I think everyone agrees on that. I feel like being pretentious is more to do with intent like another poster said instead of a certain set of names.
I completely agree with those of you who say intent decides if a name is pretentious- I think you’ve got it spot on! So basically if I love a name for the name itself, rather than the fact it may ‘look good’, I shouldn’t be afraid to use it, right?
Exactly! You will get people who dislike the name you choose no matter what. If you truly love the name though, don’t let that deter you from using it.
I usually don’t find a single name pretentious but rather a combination of names or sometimes a sibset.
For example, none of the names you listed is try-hard to me, however, [name_f]Persephone[/name_f] [name_f]Astoria[/name_f] [name_f]Hermione[/name_f] or [name_m]Ferdinand[/name_m] [name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m] [name_u]Oberon[/name_u], does seem a bit over-the-top, especially if you have no matching heritage, whatsoever.
Or for sibsets, [name_f]Astoria[/name_f], [name_f]Persephone[/name_f], [name_u]Oberon[/name_u] and [name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m], to seem a bit try-hard to me. Like you want your child to be special so badly, you have to give them uber-grand names.
I like quite a few “pretentious” names, myself, but I try to balance that out with a more normal middle name. So no, [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] [name_f]Aphrodite[/name_f] [name_f]Snow[/name_f] for me, but rather a [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f] ([name_f]Snow[/name_f]).
I agree with many things above. Intent can make a name pretentious, and combinations of names as well. But one single name doesn’t usually come across as pretentious to me, unless I associate that name with a pretentious character or person. I try very hard not to be judgmental, but when I see lots of combos of triple names floating around, I can’t help but think how pretentious that is. I have never met a person who had more than one middle that enjoyed it, and so I feel like parents are just trying way too hard and packing their kids with names without really paying attention to the sound and the fact that it might not be perfect to wear if it were you.
I do have two middle names and I like having them, they never caused me much trouble. Interestingly enough, I know quite a few people with 2 middle names and they never complained. But I agree, with two middle names, a name can feel pretentious much quicker than with only one middle name, especially if you look at the combos on Nameberry you often feel like saying “wow, you’re still naming a human child, not some ethereal goddess of the Islandic Woods.”, at least I do.
YES. I used to abhor ‘pretentious’ names; now I realize that a lot of them are really just awesome. Then again, I have developed an appreciation of names being a name nerd, so whereas I might meet a [name_m]Horatio[/name_m] [name_m]Archibald[/name_m] [name_m]Aurelius[/name_m] and be thrilled, another might think that he was a snob. Matter of fact, I still can’t warm up to [name_m]Beauregard[/name_m]…
I think the term pretentious is totally subjective. People’s opinions will differ anyway so if you like the names I say go for them. I actually can’t think of many names that I would consider pretentious. Maybe [name_m]Hector[/name_m], [name_m]Horatio[/name_m], [name_m]Tarquin[/name_m]. I don’t dislike those though, I can just understand why they might be considered pretentious. My opinion on the names you have mentioned…
[name_f]Persephone[/name_f] - Always want to say [name_u]Percy[/name_u]-phone even though I know that isn’t right. Maybe pretentious but still pretty
[name_u]Oberon[/name_u] - Unusual and interesting
[name_f]Astoria[/name_f] - Not heard this before but I think it sounds beautiful
[name_f]Hermione[/name_f] - Maybe pretentious but nice enough
[name_f]Ariadne[/name_f] - [name_u]LOVE[/name_u]! On my list. Is it pretentious?!?
[name_m]Evander[/name_m]- [name_u]LOVE[/name_u]! On my list. Is it pretentious?!?
[name_m]Artemas[/name_m] - Prefer [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] but love the nickname [name_m]Art[/name_m] for both
[name_f]Indira[/name_f] - Reminds me of madeira cake
[name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m] - Souns ok but not sure how usable it is
[name_m]Ferdinand[/name_m] - Cute, nickname Ferdy
[name_m]Atticus[/name_m] - Seems over used even if it isn’t just because everyone is talking about it
[name_m]Barnabas[/name_m] - Ok but prefer Barnby
I would not use [name_f]Persephone[/name_f], [name_u]Oberon[/name_u], [name_m]Artemas[/name_m], [name_f]Indira[/name_f], [name_m]Atticus[/name_m] and [name_m]Barnabas[/name_m].
I agree that a lot of it is intent, and obviously a lot of Nameberry faves are what I’d like to call ‘elaborate’ names so I guess in reality those names can be difficult to use because regardless of whether the intent was snobby - people are going to think it’s pretentious. If your child then happens to have a bit of a snotty personality then yes it’s even ‘worse’ but at the end of the day, we will all use names which other people hate and in return we might not be such a big fan of their favourites either and probably categorize those names as well.
I have to admit though that I’d have to work up a lot of courage to use any of the names you mention, precisely because I can’t imagine calling after a 5 year old on the playground using any of those names. Like @opheliaflora’s philosophy: they’re going to be imperfect human kids. That said, my own list of favourites - although it contains a lot of shorter names - would be looked at here with suspicion too.
For me however, multiple middle names for example is usually NOT a sign of pretentiousness, sometimes rather the opposite. I have two middle names myself and I grew up surrounded by people who had none, just the one, two or sometimes even three to four. Usually people with one middle name had the more pretentious sounding name than people with two or more. Why? Because people with two, three and four middle names are usually named after multiple family members. To me that’s like the first name says something about you, then you’ve got a multitude of other names that scream: this is your insignificance in the grand scheme of things. That’s just the culture I grew up in. Also, I don’t know anyone who hated having two or more middles.
One thing I do often find pretentious is the usage of a so-called ‘legitimate’ spelling without pairing it with the ‘legitimate’ pronunciation and then I’m not talking about names from Greek, Latin or Biblical origin because everyone knows that they often can be pronounced differently because they are truly international names. I’m talking about a specific set of names which started living a life of their own outside their supposed country of origin which are spelled (and pronounced) counter intuitively. I don’t mind if you use the ‘legitimate’ spelling because you think it’s awesome, but it usually starts to get itchy for me when I see the sole reason people want to use a spelling is because they want to come across as people who are aware of the name’s origins.
Again, I have to say it’s a matter of intent. For example: [name_u]Oberon[/name_u]. If you want to use it because it’s Shakespearean, I hope you actually like [name_m]Shakespeare[/name_m] and have read A Midsummer [name_m]Night[/name_m]'s [name_u]Dream[/name_u]! If you just like it because it sounds cool, that’s fine, just don’t pretend to be well-read.
In my opinion, being pretentious is one of the least things that should be worried about. Some of the more important qualities for a name (in my view) are if the child will be able to say their own name easily and if they will be able to learn to write/spell it fairly easily.
People may make comments about the name, and whatever name you choose people are going to have an opinion, but when a child starts school you’d be surprised about how many kids have uncommon or strange names these days. There are two Hermiones at the school I teach at as well as so many other unusual ones!!
Names I perceive as pretentious are usually a combination of unfamiliar, historical, and complicated.
Familiar, historical, and complicated are usually classics or just old-fashioned.
Unfamiliar, historical, but simple are easier to swallow because they’re just more basic. It’s hard to get too snobby about a 1 syllable name.
Unfamiliar, new, and complicated is just trendy and usually doesn’t give off an air of sophistication.
Like PP’s have said, I don’t think you can really say a certain name is always pretentious, because some people and families can really carry off big names.
The main reason I’m not super into them is because I don’t think they’re always very flexible or approachable–two things I really appreciate in names.
But then maybe people would say some of my favorites are pretentious as well: [name_m]Benedict[/name_m], [name_m]Phineas[/name_m], [name_m]Darius[/name_m], [name_f]Beatrix[/name_f], etc. are certainly unfamiliar, have history, and a bit complicated.
I think the parent doing the naming is being pretentious, not necessarily the actual name. For example, I was liking the name [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f], and I believe it was on babycenter there was a discussion going on where a mom named her daughter [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f] and it suits her perfectly and she is gorgeous etc etc (nothing wrong with that!). Then she goes on to say that very few girls should have this name, as it only works on beautiful, amazingly perfect little girls, (such as hers.) I was shocked!!
A second name I was considering was [name_f]Liv[/name_f]. [name_u]Love[/name_u] the name, the meaning, sound, love [name_f]Liv[/name_f] tyler. It just worked for me I asked for a couple of opinions and got the usual, “sounds like [name_f]Olivia[/name_f]'s nickname just name her that!” etc. Then one person (random internet person who has no idea what I look like), goes on to tell me that there is no way my daughter will be nearly as gorgeous as [name_f]Liv[/name_f] [name_u]Tyler[/name_u] and I should not bother because she would be made fun of! WOW! The nerve of some people! (And not to be boastful at all but I actually look a bit like [name_f]Liv[/name_f]! Same skin and hair color and similar face shape even, she is my one celeb look alike lol! Needless to say, some people are pretentious asses, and its not the names fault, but I think maybe hipster type names seem to fall in that category more often than others. (Dont get me wrong there are some adorable “hipster names” that I love!