I have no naming quandary, but sometimes when I look in the comments on specific names, there are quite in-depth discussions of name pronunciation. My family is multinational so we have people from different languages and cultures pronouncing everything differently. But I am American and in [name_u]America[/name_u] it seems like anything goes. I guess I’m just wondering if it’s even valid for anyone in the States (or elsewhere) to be telling someone else “This name has to be pronounced this way”. The name [name_f]Esme[/name_f] is a good example of such a discussion on Nameberry. Then people get into spelling names strangely so that they will be pronounced a certain way or pointing out how the name is pronounced in the original language, but if it’s not being used in that language, who cares?
I actually commented on the name [name_f]Esme[/name_f] (under my previous username). I talked about its merits and, yes, about its pronunciation too - I prefer “EZ-mee”, though that doesn’t mean I find the “ez-[name_f]MAY[/name_f]” pronunciation invalid. DH has a cousin by the name, and close family call her “EZ-mee” but DH and his family all say “ez-[name_f]MAY[/name_f]”. Neither she nor her parents seem to mind or even notice much. Either that or they’ve just given up! I also know several Naomis “nay-OWE-mee” who have the same problem (they get “nye-OWE-mee” or “NAY-uh-mee”).
It would really bug me if that was my name or my child’s name, but I guess to some people it’s just not a big deal. It did strike me that in the UK Top 1000 2014 the spelling variants [name_f]Esmae[/name_f], Esmai and [name_f]Esmee[/name_f] all ranked, suggesting that some parents want to eliminate pronunciation confusion. I wouldn’t go as far as changing the spelling of a favourite name, but knowing that a name would be frequently mispronounced might make me hesitate before using it.
As for pronouncing the name as it is said in the original language, I think it is nice to do as long as the name is easy enough to say in English (or whatever your language is) and is fairly intuitively spelled. Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself and your child up for a lifetime of correction and confusion. I don’t see anything wrong with going with an “anglicized” pronunciation if that’s what you prefer, eg. [name_m]Wolfgang[/name_m] “[name_m]WULF[/name_m]-gang” rather than “VOLF-gang”, [name_f]Liv[/name_f] “[name_f]LIV[/name_f]” rather than “LEEV”, [name_m]Nikolai[/name_m] “[name_u]NICK[/name_u]-uh-lye” rather than “nick-ah-LYE”. I’m even open to some degree of anglicization in the spelling if it helps to make a foreign import easier to pronounce correctly, e.g. [name_f]Neve[/name_f] for [name_f]Niamh[/name_f].
If you love the name [name_f]Helena[/name_f] (he-[name_m]LAY[/name_m]-nuh) but hate the pronunciation HEL-eh-nuh, then maybe you should rethink your choice.
It’s not impossible to correct people all the time and some people are fine with that. It doesn’t cause a problem and they don’t find it to be an issue.
Other people hate the idea of having to pronounce, spell, or correct people a lot.
I personally prefer the spelling Noël for my favorite girls name, but I know the umlaut will fall off for most American systems/people. So we’ve agreed on [name_f]Noelle[/name_f] to ensure correct pronunciation.
I don’t agree with making up strange spellings in order to force a pronunciation, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand it!
@katinka just a fyi [name_f]Esmee[/name_f] actually isn’t a variant it’s the actual feminine form of [name_f]Esme[/name_f]. Like [name_u]Rene[/name_u]/[name_f]Renee[/name_f].
I think if you tell people to pronounce your child’s name one way and they keep on pronouncing it the other way it’s kinda disrespectful. My name is [name_u]Andrea[/name_u] (ann-dree-uh) and I cringe everyone calls me ahn-dray-uh or ahn-dree-uh. I have no problem with choosing a pronunciation that you like best or for whatever reason but if it’s not the most common way to pronounce it (in your area) be prepared to be constantly correcting people. The way my mother chose to pronounce my name is the most common in my area and I still have to correct people all the time.
Overall, I don’t believe in changing the spelling of a name to get the pronounciation you want and I would think twice before naming my child a name with multiple pronunciations.
I think it only matters if you’re deliberately pronouncing someone’s name wrong. Like if someone told you their name was Ez-may, but you keep calling them Ez-mee, then that’s rude and disrespectful.
There are so many different pronunciations of names, plus a lot of names are international, and it can be hard to pinpoint where exactly the name “came from”. Who’s to say that the Spanish [name_f]Mar[/name_f]ía is more correct than the English [name_f]Maria[/name_f]?
At the end of the day, insisting that there’s one hard and fast pronunciation for a name that can and has traditionally had several different pronunciations comes off as persnickety and pompous. If you prefer one pronunciation over the other, that’s fine, but I don’t think there’s any true pronunciation etiquette, unless you’re interacting with someone who actually has the name.
There are different cases to pronouncing a name differently. If a [name_f]Jasmin[/name_f] in Germany pronounces her name Yuss-MEEN, then moves to the US and people call her [name_u]JAZZ[/name_u]-min, it only depends on that person and whether she minds or has a preference. Different pronunciations are ok in this example imo because the name is common in both countries and not a recent import.
If someone makes up a name to clarify the intended pronounciation, I just go with it.
The only thing that bothers me is when people mispronounce an international name. [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f], [name_m]Leif[/name_m] are good current examples. It shows a certain ignorance towards the culture of origin: if you want a foreign name, do your homework on the pronounciation.
People have different opinions on this. I grew up with a foreign name in a different country, and my name was constantly mispronounced. So while I like hearing my name pronounced SLIGHTLY differently depending on which language it’s said in (dialect, accent etc), I do find that there are cases of straight mispronounciation, and those bug me.
It only bothers me when people use the [name_m]French[/name_m], Spanish, Portuguese, [name_m]German[/name_m], etc. spelling, accents and umlauts included but then pronounce them the English way; even more so if they just add an accent to a name that doesn’t originally have one and they still pronounce it incorrectly.
If you want to spell [name_f]Amelie[/name_f], Amélie, don’t pronounce it A-may-lee, that’s incorrect, either pronounce it the [name_m]French[/name_m] way or just leave it at [name_f]Amelie[/name_f].
I don’t think there’s one “correct” way to say a name. Many names are used in more than one language, and within a single language pronunciation often varies wildly by accent.
I chose a Scandinavian name for my daughter. She is named after my grandmother, so the name was more important to me than the pronunciation difficulties she might face. Her name is [name_f]Karin[/name_f] which is pronounced KAH-rin. In the US, her name is predominately pronounced [name_f]Karen[/name_f], and that’s fine. In Germany she goes by the correct pronunciation and many of my Spanish speaking friends also pronounce it correctly. Would I prefer that she be KAH-rin everywhere? Yes, but I also realize that many English speakers can’t pronounce the name as intended and so this is the compromise.