[name_m]Hi[/name_m] Berries! So I am expecting little Ms. [name_f]Serena[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] [name_u]February[/name_u] 24 2022. Hubby and I are beyond excited for her arrival We have decided to hyphenate her last name since hubby and I are not married to honor both our families. What are the pros and cons of going this route? Me personally, I have both my parents names and have never had an issue but I typically just use my dad’s name as my last name and then my mom’s as a second middle name.
Congratulations for your baby girl. Her name is marvelous. So beautiful🌹
I also have two surnames (not hyphenated). I believe the pros and cons depend of where you live.
I love that you are going to give your daughter your last name! I can only see positive things about it! It will create a bond between both your families. Your daughter is a mix of both you and your partner, as well as each other families (history, cultures, traditions, languages if that’s the case and other things). And no matter what happens, will be both share a surname with your daughter.
The only cons I can see are having to write a longer name when she will need to write her full name (not really a problem in my opinion but some people may consider this a negative aspect) and filling some paperwork.
I say hyphenate! I have two last names, but one is mg legal middle name. It’s such a hassle so I haven’t legally changed it, but I really wish my last names were hyphenated and both my legal surnames. I think it’s so so cool to have both parents’ last names. xx
I agree with this. In some countries it’s more common to have a hyphenated last name, and it won’t be any hassle. In other countries it could cause some administrative problems.
When I got married I decided to keep my last name and add my husband’s name, so I have a hyphenated last name. I haven’t had any trouble so far, but we only got married this summer, so maybe I’ll come across some problems later on Our children have my husband’s last name though.
I think giving your daughter a hyphenated last name is a lovely idea. It links her to both your families.
Firstly [name_f]Serena[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] is lovely such a pretty girly choice she feels so peaceful and romantic perfect for a [name_u]February[/name_u] baby.
So my daughter (born [name_u]February[/name_u] 2021) has a hyphenated surname like you; me & my OH are not married and my dad really wanted to have our surname included so as a result she’s got a hyphenated surname. In all honesty if I had known what I know now I would have just used my OH surname. It’s just sooooooooo long having to spell three names no one understands my daughter’s first name. I thought [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] was pretty self explanatory but no according to the general public her name is weirdest name in the world. So of course gets mispronounced and misspelt continuously you probably won’t have this issue with [name_f]Serena[/name_f] but it’s not as familiar as you may think so maybe asked to spell it have the name mispronounced you never know. Then with my daughter she has to surnames that are not [name_f]English[/name_f] (one being Celtic the other Ugandan) that I have to spell the whole time the overall experience is so frustrating for everyone I actually hate it. Biggest regret with her name. I prefer OH Ugandan surname over mine way prettier so I think I may change it to just his surname but need to speak to Dad first. Anyways it’s long really regret it. But I think my experience is based on three ‘complicated’ choices maybe if the surname was Baker-Jones for example it wouldn’t be so long.
Anyways good luck
Our daughter has a hyphenated surname. I didn’t change my name when I got married and I really wanted my side of the family to be represented in her name, not just my husbands. Also from a practical point of view, I knew I’d be travelling internationally with my daughter back to see my family at least once each year on my own without my husband so ensuring she had at least one surname the same as me stops any questioning at customs
I had a hyphenated maiden name and honestly hated it. If I hadn’t got married, I probably would have changed it anyway. I found it so long and clunky (it was six letters - five letters). That said, I did love the reasoning behind it, I just didn’t like the names themselves.
[name_f]My[/name_f] biggest irks were:
1- that no one seemed to be able to spell either portion of it correctly, ever, let alone together.
2 - the amount of people that don’t know what is meant by “hyphenated” is astounding. I had the following conversation so many times…
Me: “xxxx hyphen xxxx”
Them: “What’s that mean?”
Me: “The little line connecting them, like a dash…”
I understand wanting to keep both names in the family, so I do get why people do it. [name_f]My[/name_f] own experience just makes me very anti it. It depends a bit on the names your sticking together though. If you’re [name_m]Smith[/name_m] and he’s [name_m]Jones[/name_m], I suspect it should be pretty breezy. Uncommon or complicated surnames are just made more messy with hyphens though.
Personally, I’m a fan of alternative last names the combine the letters of both surnames. I also love the imagery of both families being combined in this new little creature. But that’s just me.
I personally don’t have a hyphenated name but I went to school with someone who did and I remember that because when he signed his name he did his last name as PM representing the two names instead of the names. Seeing the above comments those two names weren’t common and it was pretty lengthy…. As some have said I could see it more depending on the names.
Pros and cons either way. I didn’t change my name for some time after I got married because of my work. When we found out we were expecting our first, it made me rethink that.
I always wondered why people hyphenated and it had to be confusing, but I ended up doing just that! [name_f]My[/name_f] first name, original middle (which was my mom’s maiden), then my maiden - DH last name. Both are common easy to say names and each 4 letters long.
This saved me the headache of having to change a ton of stuff at work, but still have part of my husband’s name without giving up my own.
All that to say, it has worked fine for me. It can be confusing and I do have to correct people. I have people make one last name out of the two, for example. I just knew if I didn’t hyphenate, one last name or the other would get used and not both. It was important to me to have both. So I say do what is important to you! It can work, but like any name may take some correcting at times.
Oooh and ps, love her name, [name_f]Serena[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] is beautiful!
[name_f]My[/name_f] surname is hyphenated, one of the names is very unusual but so is my own first name so I have to spell everything every single time and help people understand how to pronounce it. Over the years i went through thinking it was all silly, wishing for a normal name, etc etc but honestly I am extremely glad that I have the long complicated name that I do; it’s not a made-up name or a silly name, it’s just very unique and makes me recognisable- good for business, and I also have many nicknames to choose from as well as using one family name in some contexts and the other in other contexts- so I can ensure my privacy, or make myself stand out. I have no problem with having to spell / pronounce it for people. Hyphenated names are very cool especially if you’re lucky enough to have something that sounds very nice all together.