This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine that I didn’t know I had until recent years. I’ve noticed more and more people on Facebook and Twitter referring to their unborn children by the name they have picked out for them. [name]One[/name] reason why I don’t really like this is that I’ve often thought (and I’m not alone in this) that the babies were already born.
Another reason why I dislike it is because a friend of mine was calling her baby [name]Harper[/name] for her entire pregnancy only to SMS me that she had just given birth to Everleigh, my number one name pick that I accidentally told her when I was tipsy.
So I ask you Berries, what are your feelings on publicly referring to your unborn baby by a name? [name]Do[/name] the superstitious amongst you think it’s bad luck? Does it limit you if you change your mind about the name? Is it perfectly OK, once you’ve made up your mind it’s good to go?
I think it’s absolutely fine; however, I can see how it would be really confusing when referring to an unborn baby by it’s name on FB - leaving others to wonder whether the baby is here or not. Other than that, I think it’s nice. Maybe not all couples choose to do it, and that’s fine. But I have no qualms with those who choose to refer to their unborn baby by name.
My own personal reservation would be that if I had begun referring to the baby by name, and then wanted to change my mind - feeling like I couldn’t because the baby is ‘already named.’ That’s just me.
I wouldn’t do it, it seems a little weird. And, what if when the baby’s born the name doesn’t fit? I’d feel stupid… So we call our baby [name]Baby[/name], [name]Little[/name] [name]Baby[/name], [name]Little[/name] [name]One[/name]. A friend of mine called her baby sigg when she was pregnant, it’s short for cigarette in norwegian, and couldn’t shake the nn when her baby was born, so we decided not to get too funny with what we call [name]Baby[/name].
I personally don’t like it either. We didn’t reveal our daughter’s name to anyone until she was born, and we plan to do the same with our son. My reasons for keeping the name secret were first of all to prevent any unwanted comments/criticism, and secondly to keep at least some element of surprise.
No, I don’t like doing that because I might change my mind about what name I’d use once she is born and I haven’t settled on the final first and middle name anyways; though it doesn’t stop other people from referring to my unborn child by a name. At least they are names I like, but I do find it a bit odd.
Whether or not it is weird depends on the situation. If you have older children who are anticipating the birth of a sibling, it can be helpful to refer to the baby by name. Of course, ultrasounds can be wrong about gender, and a name that sounds good in theory can feel wrong once it’s given a trial run.
My parents were calling me [name]Laura[/name] throughout my mom’s pregnancy, and this was before routine gender ultrasound. The story goes that my dad had a prophetic dream that he was walking hand-in-hand on the beach with a little blonde girl. However, my mom is convinced he predicted my gender accurately because he was one of nine children; he may have noticed differences in morning sickness levels with his mom’s pregnancies. Seems like a risky move, but he ended up being right!
I wouldn’t do it. I feel like I need to see my child to know what name truly fits them
My cousin told everyone early on that her son’s name would be [name]Chase[/name]. So people started buying personalized things for him and referring to him as [name]Chase[/name]. Near the end of the pregnancy she started wavering and was questioning if it was substantial enough (this was 18yrs ago before the name became really popular). She loved [name]Chase[/name] but felt she was stuck with a word and not a real name. She ended up naming him [name]Chason[/name] with the nn [name]Chase[/name]. I wonder what his name could have been if she hadn’t felt stuck with [name]Chase[/name]
To be honest, when I was pregnant, if you were around me I’d ask you (as a close friend) what you think of this name for the future LO.
But I wouldn’t go about posting -or emphatically deciding- any name or anything like that until they were safely in my arms. c’smom
p.s. sorry to hear that your girl’s name was stolen - it stinks when that happens.
I’m glad to see so many people who are on the same page as I am. I’m shocked at just how many of my Facebook friends in particular are doing it. I totally agree with the cutesy nicknames! I currently have friends who refer to their babies as “Squiggle”, “Peanut”, “Bubble”, “Womble”, “Sea Monkey” and “Squishy”. I’m hoping to conceive soon and even though we have our list, the babies name will be the most top secret part of the whole pregnancy.
It’s not that it bothers me or that it peeves me, I just worry that they will change their minds. My ex-fiance’s brother and [name]SIL[/name] started calling their bump [name]Caleb[/name] when they found out it was a boy. The whole time they were between [name]Caleb[/name] and [name]Malachi[/name] but decided on [name]Caleb[/name] [name]Tyler[/name], so they announced it early. At the baby shower a lot of things were monogrammed for him and the cake said “[name]Welcome[/name] [name]Caleb[/name] [name]Tyler[/name]” but when he was actually born, they announced his name… [name]Daniel[/name] [name]Curtis[/name]. Or another friend who insisted her son would be [name]Connor[/name] [name]James[/name] but then someone in her family had a [name]Connor[/name] [name]Shane[/name] two months before her son was born, so he became [name]Lucas[/name] [name]Matthew[/name].
I do know someone who called her son by a “fake” name while she was pregnant ([name]George[/name]) and didn’t tell anyone the real name until he was born ([name]Jackson[/name]). So that would also work, but I prefer the cutesy nicknames like Peanut, Nugget, Monkey, etc.
I don’t think it would bother me to see it online, but… [name]One[/name] time I met one of my boyfriend’s old friends and his pregnant girlfriend. She introduced herself, then pointed at her belly and said, “And this is [name]Isabella[/name].” It really struck me as odd and I’m glad that’s only happened to me once. I’m not sure what I’d say to someone that did that if I actually knew them… I could understand YOU calling your baby by its name, but I don’t think I’d ever introduce my BELLY to someone…
We call our unborn baby, a girl due in Feb, a nickname derived from the name we’re going to name her. There are a few reasons for this. 1) Our DD, who is four, actually started calling the fetus this nickname, so we decided to take that nickname and pick a more formal version to actually name her. We know this is a great way for our daughter to bond with this baby. 2) We miscarried right before conceiving this baby. Since then, we decided to enjoy whatever time we have with our children. You never know what will happen, so instead of living superstitiously, we want to be happy with the time we have. 3) I really dislike the cutesy nicknames for unborn babies. It’s just a personal preference. 4) I suffer from extremely difficult pregnancies. I get terribly sick and it affects my emotional well-being. Referring to my unborn child by her name really helps me bond with her.
As far as the “we don’t know if the baby has already been born yet” confusion, I think that if you don’t know, you probably aren’t very close to that person. It really wouldn’t matter if you thought the baby was born a few months before it actually was, because you probably won’t be a big part of their life. I’ve had facebook friends who were confused about certain aspects of my life based on some posts, but all they had to do was ask. A good way to tell if the baby has been born is if there are any pictures posted of the baby. If not, they probably aren’t here, yet.
Also, if they announce one name before the birth, but end up changing their mind later on, it really isn’t that big of a deal. Nothing is really set in stone until the baby is born, and even then, people have been known to legally change their infant’s name months or even years after birth.
All in all, it’s just a personal preference. Some people like it, some people don’t. In the end, it only matters what you decide when you are in that situation.
I think the parents should do what they feel comfortable with doing. I personally found out the gender and we named our oldest son before his birth. At my baby shower with him, the cake said something like “[name]Welcome[/name] [name]Sebastian[/name] [name]Elihu[/name]” or what not (cannot remember the exact wording, just that his first and middle name were on it). I didnt find out the gender with either of the girls, did find out with [name]Linus[/name] but did not tell anybody the name we were considering (we were pretty much dead set on [name]Linus[/name] as a first name) . But DH and I refered to him as “[name]Linus[/name]” around each other. With this one, my DH and I both really are drawn to the name [name]Wolfgang[/name], however, there are 3 other names we also like and want to see what he looks like before we choose for certain. Now, DH has been calling my belly “Wolfie”, but, other than that and on here, its not general knowledge. I think my biggest thing is that I want to be able to see my child before I commit to a name for him, plus, I have found people get all up in arms over what somebody else does or does not do with naming their baby…not that it matters, but had we changed [name]Sebastian[/name] [name]Elihu[/name] to [name]Ezra[/name] [name]Eliot[/name] (the other name on the table before we chose [name]Seb[/name] for “sure” when I was pregnant) I know the people who had gotten us personalized gifts might have been miffed (my parents spent a pretty penny on not only a personalized blanket, but, several other colectable items with his name engraved on it)…granted people have to realize that its up to the parents to choose, and US’s can always be wrong, but, still, I do not want to be so set on something (telling people their name etc) that when the baby is born to feel any sort of external pressure that I should still use the name, make sense? I know my [name]SIL[/name] named her dd in the womb and when she was born there was talk about using a different name and pretty much everyone else talked her out of it. My [name]BIL[/name] told DH once that he would have been fine with the other name (and actually, looking at her now, either name fits) but with the uproar and my [name]SIL[/name] being post partum, they just went with “what everyone knew” and I honestly think lots of parents do that in this day and age…feel like because the technology is available its some sort of “be prepared” thing to find out the gender and give that child a name in utero…having twice done it the other way (not knowing, not having a name set in stone), I can honestly say you do not have to do it, but, people will get on your case if you do not but too bad, not their body not their kid.
[name]One[/name] of my big reasons not to tell any names we are considering…that and the fact that we tend to like and choose names that are not generally well recieved by many in our lives (except for [name]Violet[/name], that name seems to overall be a crowd pleaser, lol).
I know many friends on FB who talk about their unborn child all the time by their first and sometimes first and middle name, and if that is what they want to do, then its cool with me…everyone bonds/gets excited about their child in a different way. I figure people can have 9 months not knowing my baby and the rest of his/her life to know them as well as their name, so that is my personal choice.
I’m not sure if I would do it or not. I probably shouldn’t (seeing as how my future hypothetical husband will probably hate [name]Isabelle[/name]), but I already refer to my first daughter as [name]Isabelle[/name]/[name]Bella[/name]. Not really to family or close friends, but in my head, and sometimes to my cyber [name]Berry[/name] friends. Of course, I know I could change my mind, and of course there is every chance that my future daughter WON’T be [name]Isabelle[/name] [name]Aurora[/name] [name]Grace[/name] (it’s actually more likely that she won’t be, lol!), but in my head, that’s just her name, and calling “her” [name]Isabelle[/name] reminds me all of what I’m fighting for–to overcome my depression, to find my first “real job” in this bad economy since I’ve graduated, to one day have the family I’ve dreamed of. It helps me keep things in perspective, it reminds me how very much I want all the things I’ve dreamed of, and how little I want to sit passively by and let me live without those things.
When it comes to actually having children, I want to be able to keep the name (and possibly even gender) a secret from everyone but me, my husband, and possibly Nameberry. So regardless, I wouldn’t say something like “Saw the ultrasound today and [name]Jonah[/name]'s doing great!” or “Mommy can’t wait to meet [name]Ophelie[/name]!” or whatever. It’s mainly because I want to keep something between me and my husband until our baby arrives, but it’s also because I really don’t want to hear the negative thoughts about my favorite names. I really hadn’t given much thought about whether or not it’s weird to actually share the name. I hadn’t even thought about the issues that could cause, that you mentioned.
I don’t really care much either way unless the parents are using “cutesy” names for their unborn child like gremlin or demon. I swear I’ve heard both and while it was supposed to be silly I wasn’t really excited about it. Had to bite my tongue and change the subject - which feels rude when people are so excited about their baby-bumps.
My boyfriend has a habit of putting his hand on my stomach and saying [name]Isaac[/name]'s gonna be in there one day and then he’ll go on to narrate hatever thoughts he thinks babies have in the womb. And it generally gets a smirk/eye roll out of me. But he’s set on his first son being [name]Isaac[/name]. And I love it so if it still sounds good 5-7 years from now, he probably will be [name]Isaac[/name].
My little sister calls her future kids [name]Bobby[/name] and [name]Mattie[/name]/[name]Matthew[/name]. Its not at all odd to hear her say [name]Bobby[/name] will be like this or he’ll like that.
As to introducing my belly, I’ll pass. I probably won’t even say what my child’s name is until its on paper and.offfical. I don’t want any personalized stuff just to change my mind and not use that name.
c’smom
