My boy/girl twins turned 2 in March. I’ve been having regret about naming our boy Bastian. We call him both Bastian and Baz. “Baz” is ok, but I don’t love it. Lately it feels like Bastian doesn’t fit, and a typical American name would’ve suited him better, like Matthew or Max. Sadly, his middle name is also not typical and wouldn’t alleviate anything if we used it, in fact it would be worse.
Is it definitely too late to change his name?
Can you think of another possible nickname to use? I don’t like Bass or Bash. “B” or possibly “Bax” would be ok, but Baz still seems better.
I’m so sorry your experiencing name regret it’s such a challenging emotion!
[name_m]Bastian[/name_m] firstly is a lovely name with a sweet eurochic vibe very sophisticated but also playful with the fun nicknames such as [name_m]Baz[/name_m], Bash (I know you don’t like but I love it) etc I also want to say that B is adorable and [name_m]Bax[/name_m] works too.
Personally I think 2 is too old to change his name. Your son will know his name will respond his name and I think it’ll be too much to change it. Children start to recognise their names from 6 months onwards my daughter is 14 months and she responds to [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] knows her name it’s part of her identity I can’t imagine changing her name aged 2 when she’s known that’s her name for the majority of her life. Of course he’s only 2 and I understand that kids are adaptable but I do think it’s a bit too much. I think the only change that I would say wouldn’t be too much for this little one to overcome would be [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m]. I think [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] has a more ‘American feel’ but isn’t a massive change from [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] as it’s only two letter change at the front.
Honestly I think @Harvest-Endellion feedback is a little harsh (I’m a massive fan of her posts etc just this comment is a bit much) I really do not hear bstrd when it comes to the name [name_m]Bastian[/name_m]. In my eyes they have completely different sounds and I do not think many people would make that assumption. I also think keeping his wonderful name would not make him feel x or y later on. I’m sure he’ll grow into his lovely name you have not made a massive mistake with it.
Name regret is complicated emotional predicament but please keep positive and try to embrace his name. [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] is lovely.
The mother just seems very uncomfortable with their name choice of [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] so I shared my discomfort with it too. I would never have said anything had she been saying that she was happy with the name choice.
I try to base my responses to what the person is asking for. Sorry if I unintentionally hurt feelings, definitely not my intent. I wouldn’t recommend name changing at two normally, but I wanted to support her in changing it.
Absolutely too late — he’s two, he understands his name and others names and language. His name is already part of his sense of self identity, and disrupting that just doesn’t seem fair to him. Sorry if this is too blunt!
Bastian is lovely, though. IMO it is definitely not worth confusing this child over.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I agree with everything @tori101 said. [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] is a nice name but [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] as an alternative is a good idea - nn. [name_m]Seb[/name_m] would be nice!
@Harvest-Endellion i completely understand that but ultimately her beautiful boy has that name I think I would be really upset if someone said that my child’s name reminded them of the word ‘bstrd) especially what the word actually means. I get the mother isn’t loving [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] currently but it’s more name regret which is such a complex emotional especially as your child’s name is something you identify with your child it’s so hard. I just wouldn’t have responded that way and wouldn’t want to receive that response.
I think [name_m]Ian[/name_m] is a great suggestion for another nickname! Also, while it’s a bit of a stretch, I think you could use [name_m]Ben[/name_m] as a nickname for [name_m]Bastian[/name_m]. It definitely fits the “typical American” vibe you’re looking for.
I’m sorry that you are feeling so unhappy with your son’s name.
I too agree that the best option is just to go from [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] (a nickname of Sebastian) to the full name of [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m]. What matters most is how you and your partner feel, yes? Where I come from, [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] is a common enough name (Italian community) and most of the Sebastians I knew were Seb/Sebby. Sebby is adorable and might appeal more. Also, in Italian it’s [name_m]Sebastiano[/name_m], and [name_m]Tino[/name_m] could also be a nickname.
When my kids were toddlers, we had a variety of nicknames and silly names we used for our kids. Children are adaptable, and I don’t think changing one nickname to another is going to cause any issues.
I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. Unfortunately, I think I agree that it’s too late to change it, but as I don’t have children I can’t say for certain what I’d do.
I would echo the suggestions of
Changing it to [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m]
The nicknames [name_m]Ian[/name_m] or [name_m]Ben[/name_m]
I did think of [name_u]Ash[/name_u] as a nickname, it is a bit of a stretch but doable I think. Another idea would be to call him a nickname or variation of his middle name. [name_u]Or[/name_u] something combining his first and middle name.
For what it’s worth, I love [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] personally! He can be both adorable and regal. Such a charming name.
I don’t think two is too late; people change their names at any age. The hard part would be explaining it to him, but children are generally flexible and accepting. He may be confused for a bit, but give it a few weeks/months and he probably won’t even remember it in a year or so. Getting other people to call him by a different name may be more difficult, but they’ll get over it.
As for possible nicknames; literally anything you want. It may confuse people when they find out little Max’s full name is [name_m]Bastian[/name_m], but how relevant is that really? Most people won’t even know his full name.
I think two is a little late to change his name - especially if someone asks him his name and he can say what it is. Unless there was a really significant reason to change his name, I think it’s best leaving it as it is. Sorry
For what it’s worth, I think [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] is a wonderful name, though I like previous posters suggestions of [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] as a possible compromise.
[name_m]Buzz[/name_m] could maybe be a nn? [name_u]Or[/name_u] something like [name_u]Sonny[/name_u], [name_u]Bo[/name_u], [name_m]Buddy[/name_m], [name_u]Bobby[/name_u], [name_f]Bee[/name_f], [name_m]Ian[/name_m]?
If you’re on the fence about whether it’s too late then maybe consider changing the middle to something that would offer a name / nickname alternative. Changing it to [name_m]Ian[/name_m] or [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] could also work.
i’m in agreement with the others unfortunately, i think 2 is a little late to change the name. it could make complicated situations for your son and people who already knew him as bastian for two years.
maybe think back to what made you love bastian and choose it initially, or what is making you have doubts. how serious the reasons are for wanting to change it - as he gets older could he grow into the name more ? could he have a nickname used only at home that wouldn’t cause issues outside of it ? i like the suggestions of sonny and ian as nicknames to use also !
Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the help. To address some of the comments:
-Spouse loves [name_m]Bastian[/name_m] still and doesn’t want to change.
-Didn’t think of [name_m]Ian[/name_m], [name_u]Bo[/name_u], or [name_u]Ash[/name_u]. [name_f]My[/name_f] initial reaction is I still prefer [name_m]Baz[/name_m], but I’ll consider these. Don’t want to go the [name_m]Ben[/name_m] or [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m] route (I prefer [name_m]Baz[/name_m] to Seb).
If a change would negatively affect him psychologically, I definitely don’t want to change. To be honest I didn’t really think it would till reading these comments. He’s not in daycare and didn’t even start pre-school yet, but it still seems it could be a big factor.
[name_f]Honesty[/name_f] I went through name regret for a while. It consumed me. [name_f]My[/name_f] son is now 2.5 and while there’s days I still think i wish his name was this or that I’m glad I left it. I think any name I chose I would have felt the same way. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband and even gave me the chance to change it if it would make me happy and I couldn’t come up with a name I 100% wanted to change it to so I left it. He has grown into his name and it suits him. He knows his name and says his name all the time.
If you don’t have a name you can 100% say this is what his name should be then leave it as you may feel the same way of you change his name to something else. I tried calling my son other names and it felt weird.
[name_f]My[/name_f] point is that people associate names with other words that sound like them. I love [name_f]Virginia[/name_f], but many don’t because of the word virgin in it. To me, I don’t hear virgin and if I did, I wouldn’t care. I don’t tease people about their names, but many do, particularly kids who can be cruel. That was what I was thinking.
Okay I get that but I think the difference is her son actually has this name and she’s in a difficult predicament with regret regarding this name. Hearing that you associate her little one’s name with this word is unnecessary I think your answer was a bit kinda flippant and lacking a bit of thought you know. I do get the Virginia/Virgin thing but I think that’s way more obvious than Bastian/bstrd I really do not think people have this association whereas with Virginia/Virgin it’s kinda obvious. Still even if someone was experiencing name regret over a 2 year old named [name_f]Virginia[/name_f] I wouldn’t point out that as it’s just not necessary. Anyways it’s just a difference of opinion but I wanted to reassure the mother as I think as a mother I would be upset if I had received that response about my children’s name.
