Removed.
I don’t really have advice as such but [name_f]Alice[/name_f] from his list strikes me as one that would work well in the middle with a lot of your favourite names
[name_m]Just[/name_m] a thought
[name_f]Ivy[/name_f] [name_f]Alice[/name_f]
[name_f]Harriet[/name_f] [name_f]Alice[/name_f] “Hattie”
[name_f]Katharine[/name_f] [name_f]Alice[/name_f] “Kit” “Kate”
[name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] [name_f]Alice[/name_f]
Good luck!
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Talk it through.
[name_f]My[/name_f] ex was wasn’t interested in talking about names until the last month of pregnancy and he was completely set on using [name_m]Laoghaire[/name_m] (Leery) and would shut down any suggestion I put forward until we talked it through and asked questions like why this name? Why do you love it? Why do you hate it? What feelings do you get with this name? How do you think this name will go irl? etc. It helped.
Turned out he only wanted [name_m]Laoghaire[/name_m] cause of a character on a tv show. We talked about that some more and ended up making a compromise that we both adore.
I think the more real/closer it gets the more you and your partner will discuss names and issues surrounding names (spelling, order of names, honour names, bullying potential, names of exs, etc) so don’t stress about that just yet if you can help it.
I love [name_f]Alice[/name_f] and [name_u]Kelly[/name_u] from his list.
I love [name_f]Lillie[/name_f] [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] from your list.
[name_f]Ivy[/name_f] [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] is too heavy for me and [name_f]Violet[/name_f] [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] sounds a little scary tbh.
[name_f]Eliza[/name_f] and [name_f]Madeleine[/name_f] seems to match both your styles more than the other names you love and they work with your boys names nicely too.
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Thank you you both!
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Sounds similar to my SO and I. All of his suggestions were names from the 80s that he was obviously familiar with, lol. And until we were actually pregnant, he just agreed to everything I suggested. Once I got pregnant he suddenly got stubborn and rejected every name on my list. So I kept exploring, trialling names on him, and I noticed if I dropped one in conversation enough, eventually he would come around. Sometimes explaining why I liked it or the significance I saw behind it really helped. As did agreeing to use his choice of middle. The name we have chosen now he didn’t like at first! But now adores because I shared the meaning and why I thought it fitted our family (along with sibling ideas which seemed to help too). We couldn’t be happier with our final choice. I’m sure you will get there too!
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Yup, that sounds pretty similar! He talks a lot about wanting “normal” names – but his normal is 1995. 
He said [name_f]Anneliese[/name_f] was a bit unusual, but I work in childcare, so to me, it’s one of the more basic ones I’ve seen! But I’m sure we’ll figure something out. Thank you!
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That’s the only trouble. You realise how many associations you already have with names when trying to think of your future children. We ended up using a name where neither of us had met someone with the name and hadn’t heard of it in the media in any kind of negative light, so it felt a neutral choice. I’m sure you’ll find a name you both agree on and it’ll just click, it might even come to you out of the blue like it did for us.
Maybe use [name_u]Kelly[/name_u] or a similar sounding name (Callie?) in the middle spot?!
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Agree
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This is really familiar not in terms of the actual names but I think my SO was really hung up on wanting a name that his family/friends would see as “normal” whereas I really wanted something that people would see as unusual/unheard/unpopular but obviously still something they’d like! A lot of names I suggest he thinks are “too much”
Also as name nerds we’ve got a good sense of what’s popular for babies born now whereas if you haven’t been around kids much you probably still think a lot about your own generation (or what I call boring names haha)
I relate to your feeling of wanting him to be invested though, I think I’d drop a whole bunch of my desired qualities in names for something he expressed big enthusiasm for but that’s rare!
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[name_f]Alice[/name_f] from his set feels like it could work with your set
Some that came to mind: [name_f]Iris[/name_f], [name_f]Emilia[/name_f], [name_f]Eliana[/name_f], [name_u]Willow[/name_u], [name_f]Calla[/name_f], [name_f]Poppy[/name_f], [name_u]Hadley[/name_u] and [name_f]Maia[/name_f]
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[name_f]My[/name_f] husband is from Mexico, and when I was pregnant with our first daughter, he was coming up with names that were familiar to me (Lisa, [name_u]Kimberly[/name_u], [name_f]Joana[/name_f], etc) that he probably heard of one person with the name. I had a list of different names, names that are not heard of too much here. We were between two of the names on the list, and we went with one for our first daughter and used the other for our second daughter. I was mostly the one coming up with names for all three girls, and he gave one or two suggestions each time. He did pick our oldest’s first name though.
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I am definitely the name nerd of my marriage and like some others I’ve found that exposure to new names (or names he’s heard before but never really considered) plus time has somewhat unexpectedly brought my husband around to quite a few names he was initially not very enthused about. Throw a bunch out there and return to them occasionally but don’t press him on them, just let them marinate. He may not come around to every name you like but I suspect this will work for some of them.
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[name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I have a totally different taste in names too,we agreed that I chose the first name and then I chose a middle name from the ones he likes ,all of our children got their names like that ,I have to say that I love the ones your husband likes except Samantha,I absolutely love [name_f]Lillie[/name_f] [name_f]Maeve[/name_f]
I suggest:
[name_f]Maeve[/name_f] [name_f]Alice[/name_f]
[name_f]Ivy[/name_f] [name_u]Allison[/name_u]
[name_f]Ivy[/name_f] [name_f]Alice[/name_f]
[name_f]Maeve[/name_f] [name_u]Ashley[/name_u]
[name_f]Ivy[/name_f] [name_u]Ashley[/name_u]
[name_f]Maeve[/name_f] [name_u]Allison[/name_u]
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Thank you, everyone! I think I’m going to let the subject drop for now, but maybe once we’ve conceived (if we’re able, of course!), I’ll return to the subject again. In the meanwhile, I’m sort of jotting down things he mentions.