Please could you share your thoughts on second cousins sharing the same first name. My first cousin has a daughter who is now 3 and chose the name I had always loves for a girl. We’d never discussed it before so she wasn’t to know. Should I stick with the name I love or choose something else?
I think it depends on the name. Two girls named [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]? No worries, there are so many nicknames to use when the girls are together! Two girls named [name_u]Greer[/name_u]? That’s a bit trickier. More unique and hated to distinguish between two.
Are there nickname options you could call your daughter when your girls are together? Would they know each other very well? I’m really close to my cousins, and if we had kids with the same name, I know it would be way too confusing— if you don’t see your cousin as much, perhaps it’s not a huge deal?
Generally, I’d advise against two second cousins sharing a name. But, it all depends on what that name is, too!
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I have two first cousins (who are also first cousins with each other) who have the same first name. They go by different nicknames and it’s never been a big deal.
Second cousins? Absolutely no issue to me (incidentally, I know a pair of second cousins with the same name too).
I should mention the names of the folks alluded to above are both very common names around here (James and Ben). I do think that makes a difference.
I suppose it depends on the specific name, though, as well as the age gap, nickname ability, and how often the children will see each other.
So overall, I say it’s totally fine but YMMV.
Belated edit: I also ENTIRELY forgot about my two first cousins named Elizabeth who go by different nicknames. I guess that just further solidified my opinion lol.
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I agree with the other posters, and will add that my kid’s cousins, both first & second, have names off of our list… I have very few remaining if we were to have another… But its kind of special seeing them with names I love and knowing i can keep looking around at some really interesting options i might never have otherwise considered! Theres something to just saying you love their child’s name and loving it as theirs and being excited about it in an unexpected way.
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Depends on how unique the name is and how often you see the cousins. I’d personally avoid it, but if it’s a fairly familiar name or you don’t see the
I think it depends on a few factors:
- Popularity or uniqueness of the name
- How frequently your daughter will see her second cousin
- How close you are to your first cousin
- General attitude in your extended family towards the reusing of names
I think the last point is rather important to consider. I think the issue of reusing names varies pretty widely family to family. My husband’s family is totally okay with reusing names. His sister & cousin both have sons named James, only a couple years apart in age, and it’s a non-issue.
My family doesn’t repeat names. It’s definitely a taboo, story in the summary:
Summary
My grandfather’s mom passed away when he was about 10, and my great-grandfather remarried a younger woman. She was a very toxic person & was abusive towards my grandfather’s siblings.
In 1952, my grandma was pregnant at the same time as my grandfather’s stepmother. The stepmother asked my grandma what name they were planning on using. My grandma told her that their top name choice for a boy was Bradley Dale. The stepmother tells my grandma that she hates the name.
Well, the stepmother had her baby about a month before my grandma. She has a boy and names him Bradley Dale. Even though she told my grandma that she hated the name, she stole it from them anyway! My grandma ended up having a girl then, but years later when my dad was born she named him Kevin Dale. When my grandma would tell this story, you could tell that she was always a bit sad that she never got to use her favorite name. This incident definitely shaped my family’s attitude towards reusing names!
Some people in my family have given honor names in the middle spot, but there’s definitely no repeating of first names. Of course someone could repeat a name if they wanted to, but it’s like it’s too weird to even really consider. Luckily, I haven’t had any favorites ruled out yet 
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Hmm…
I think it depends on how often you’ll see each other and how unique the name is.
So I think if your child is seeing this relative on the regular it’ll be very confusing even if you go by different nicknames I think it’ll still in the long run be confusing. Let’s say the name is [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] this is very popular so using [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] wouldn’t feel odd to have two in the family she could also go by [name_f]Oli[/name_f] whilst the cousin is [name_f]Liv[/name_f] which could create less confusion. However in the long run if your in each other’s company a lot it’ll become confusing and potentially odd especially for the two kiddos. Ultimately there will be times when you drop the nickname especially when they are both having a full on tantrum in the middle of the farm together. But if you see each other a couple of times a year your [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] being [name_f]Oli[/name_f] and hers being [name_f]Liv[/name_f] will be enough to differentiate from the cousins let’s just hope there’s no holiday tantrums!
If the name is [name_f]Cosette[/name_f] I think it’s a different story. [name_f]Cosette[/name_f] is rare she’s a name that your cousin probably enjoys having her daughter being the only one, maybe did a lot of research on and cares deeply about. The parent also probably cares deeply about popularity. A parent of an [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] will have some understanding that she will share her name with others that they’ve chosen a popular name so it’s to be expected. With [name_f]Cosette[/name_f] you will not expect that especially in the same family! I think also it’ll give major copycat vibes 
If it was me I wouldn’t go there I would either find an alternative of the favourite if the name is [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] maybe use [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f] for example I just do not think it’s worth the hassle. It’s sad to let a favourite name go but I think think there’s to much difficulty when it’s in the same family.
Good luck
I agree with previous posters but would add that second cousins aren’t that closely related and if they would only be together say at [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] and [name_f]Easter[/name_f], I don’t think it should be a problem. You could tell your cousin about your long time love of the name and see how she feels about you using it. She may consider it a compliment which would be perfect, or not.
Funnily I just thought about this today, because my brother shares his firstname with a second cousin of ours. I thought it was weird that his parents even considered it at first, but nobody really seems to mind. But also there’s 20 years between the two, the name is quite common anyway and it was uncertain at the time if they’d even grow up on the same continent. I agree with the previous posters: You can always just ask!
Tbh even if it’s a unique name I still might consider using it, but you do have to consider family dynamics.
For example on one side of the family, I have a cousin who named her daughter my name, first and middle, not after me but because she liked it. I have no problem with it, we laugh about it and it’s kind of sweet. And I have two other cousins on that side of the family who have named their kids names I love and I know if I wanted to use them they wouldn’t care.
On the other hand the other side of the family I have cousins who have used names that I’ve had on my list for ages, way before any of us were having kids, but I know if I use them t my cousins would cause problems, so I’ve crossed those names of my list.
So no I don’t think 2nd cousins sharing names is a problem so long as you’re family didn’t make it a problem. If that makes sense
I think it depends on how actually see each other and how much your kids would actually interact. If it is someone who you might only see at family wedding or hear updates about from other relatives, I’d say go ahead. If you are closer and see each other even a couple times a year or text frequently, you might be expected to explain that you’ve loved the name for years. In that case I might give them a heads up to keep the peace.
[name_f]My[/name_f] stance on this used to echo users above and I sort of still feel that way. On the other hand, I got to somewhat experience this myself. [name_f]My[/name_f] first cousin named her son one of our top boy names (Henry). I used to think it would be no big deal to still use it, especially since they live awhole state away from us and I haven’t seen my cousin herself in years.
Then I thought about our grandma introducing her two great-grandsons, [name_u]Henry[/name_u] A. and [name_u]Henry[/name_u] B. It really weirded me out. We also add new births to our family tree and the idea of the two same names feels even more weird and confusing. It is hard enough when we have a few fathers/sons with the same names but cousins… I don’t know.
I guess it depends on how you feel about it.