I think we are starting to go through this with my 9 month old. To this point, I have been nursing exclusively and giving him solids here and there when he expressed interest. Solids haven’t yet been a staple in his diet, but he’s been having them a couple of times per week. For the past two days, he has seemed less interested in nursing and has been fussy until we gave him actual food, and then when we did, he ate A LOT. It’s clear to me that he’s telling us what he needs. My question is, does it seem likely he will self wean completely? If you have had a child who self weaned, when, why, and how did it happen? Was it sudden or was it more of a process? If your child did self wean, how did you feel about it? I’m finding that while he may be ready to stop, I’m not at all prepared and emotionally need to work through this a little. I want to nurse him as long as he needs it, but I thought for sure it would be longer than 9 months. Maybe this isn’t actual weaning but the normal progression from ebf to bm & solids? This is my first child so it’s all new for me and I could really use some advice from you veteran mammas out there 
Thanks!!
I weaned my oldest at 12 months and regretted it. So I let my other three self wean, that is, I stopped breastfeeding when they seemed to lose interest. For all three of them, it was 19 months. Once they were eating solids at every meal, I nursed them mostly for going to sleep. So twice a day- nap and bedtime. I think I finally just quit suddenly when they had very obviously lost interest. It was no problem for my body; I probably wasn’t producing much milk anymore.
Emotionally, it was harder. I loved the bonding time, their dependence on me. But now my youngest biological child is 12 and there have been many more times I’ve had to let go and allow them to mature. Its necessary. And bittersweet.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you think it could be a nursing strike? I had one of those with my nine month old about a month ago and it was the longest three days of my life! She was teething and getting sick and went right off it for three days. So it could be that? I basically just kept offering in unexpected ways (standing up and swaying to music, outside, to sleep, that sort of thing) and she came back round. I was not ready to give it up at all. Maybe worth looking into a nursing strike, Kellymom have some good info. I think generally a nursing strike is sudden and weaning is much more drawn out (months/years). But then, if a nursing strike continues, then by default it becomes very sudden weaning! I think the general saying is that babies very rarely wean before 12 months. I think maybe they have nursing strikes that turn into sudden weaning, or they suddenly are very interested in food so milk feeds get pushed back and if you don’t persist they get completely forgotten by baby, or the teeth pain is bad and it hurts so baby doesn’t want milk for a while and then the milk is gone. But having just been there… I know you can lead a baby to the boob, but you cannot make it drink! As an FYI, I pumped through my/her/our strike and on the first day got about 100mls from 1 side and by day three that was about 50mls per side. It went down quick! So I say pump if you can and you want to keep up supply.
When I was going through this nursing strike and didn’t know why or for how long it was going to go on I called my local la leche league person and they were so awesome to talk to. She had some good ideas and were really non-judgey and helpful.
My older two girls weaned at 13-14 months and it was very gradual. Down to 1-2 quick feeds per day then just dropped those ones and then we were done. It was definitely a two way street. I wanted to wean then because I wanted to have another baby… But this one is my last and so she might self wean a bit later!
I totally get you about not being emotionally ready! It is really nice when you are both ready but I guess it doesn’t always work out like that. Those babies have their own agendas sometimes. I was an emotional wreck when my baby went on strike, there is a lot of hormonal stuff that suddenly goes haywire so it can be quite hard. I found it really stressful! It was like extreme pms. Awful!
If I were you and I wanted to keep feeding the I would just keep offering. Maybe try a different time of day or a different location. It might be that he will just drink much less from now on. 2-3 times a day would be totally normal I think. If he likes food and is eating lots then don’t let it stress you out (well, try not to!). It’s always changing this mum thing, they always surprise you. Good luck, I hope it works out for you!
I agree that the Kellymom website is a great resource for any breastfeeding questions. My oldest weaned around 23 months. I was pregnant with our second and my milk eventually dried up so she was done and I was ready too. It seemed gradual, natural and not forced. My second daughter weaned herself around 19 months. I was also pregnant this time but we left for a family vacation and she wanted nothing to do with nursing on vacation and that was it. She’s been weaned for about a month now. My milk took about 7-10 days to dry up. I didn’t get engorged, she had only been nursing before bedtime so it was also a fairly gradual process I just didn’t expect her to stop on vacation. Also, if you have a farmer’s almanac or you can look it up online, the lunar cycles can affect when it is a good time for a child to wean, potty train, etc. I know it sounds kind of weird but our chiropractor mentioned it to me and oddly enough that time period in February is when my daughter choose to wean! I agree that your baby could be on a nursing strike or just dropping feedings as he eats more solids. I do think it’s rare for babies to wean completely before 12 months. As a mom I wouldn’t be ready to wean my baby at 9 months either! [name_f]Hope[/name_f] you and your baby figure out what is best for you both.
It sounds very much to me like baby is interested in solid foods. I don’t think he is really ready to be done nursing (nine months is very young for self weaning) but you may have to be persistent about it for a little while. Since the idea before a year is that solids are supposed to be in addition to, and not instead of, nursing, I would suggest continuing to offer the breast first and then give solids (some suggest a waiting period of an hour between milk and food but that, I think, is individual.) Since you are having trouble (which I think will smooth out with encouragment, perhaps offer before and after solids, just to get him back on track. It does sound like he’s ready to incorporate more solids in his meals…he needs to be convinced to do both!
My daughter is 8.5 months and she is really interested in food! I have breastfed her (no formula yet) the entire time, but now she is eating more and more food. She LOVES it. If we are eating, she wants to be eating. I am making significantly less milk, attributed to both pumping while working full time, and her not eating as often. She doesn’t really wake up to eat at night much anymore, so my production has really gone down. My older daughter grew disinterested in the breast at around 10 months and switched to formula full time. I will breastfeed this one until she says no, but she is so attached to me, I don’t see her calling it quits any time soon!
My twins self weaned at 14 and 17 months respectively although at that point they were basically only nursing at night. I was not at all emotionally ready (even though they were so ‘old’) but they were obviously ready to be done. When I offered the breast they squirmed and turned their head away crying. With each of them I continued to offer every night for a week once they started to reject it but after 7 nights of the same behavior I had to assume they were just done. There were no prior warning signs that I picked up on.
Best of luck!
Thank you so much for the replies I did a little reading on Kellymom, I had never heard of a bf strike! I also don’t have any family members who have bf for this long, so really needed some personal experiences & input, and it is very much appreciated. I think what we have is that he’s just ready for more solids and this is his way of telling me. I was reassured today because he’s been sort of clingy, and wanted to nurse more than the previous few days. So, while it looks like we’ll be comfortably doing a lunch & dinner of solids, he’s still wanting to nurse in the morning and at in-between times (and I assume at night before bed). I probably shouldn’t worry so much, but after today I’m feeling much more reassured that we will continue, just need to adjust a bit. This was definitely a glimpse into what it will feel like when he really does self wean, so at least now I will be partially prepared for the fact that it will probably not be that easy on me, lol. I know I need to get used to letting him be more independent but my goodness, it happens so FAST!!
Thank you again!
@lulabelletillybea, he is cutting his second upper tooth, so that may definitely be a factor. He hardly nursed at all for two whole days. It makes total sense that he could have just been having oral pain, although it didn’t occur to me because he wasn’t doing the “usual” things he would do if teething was bothering him. Still, I think it’s probably a contributing factor. I will definitely do as you suggest, keep offering, and maybe more than I have been, instead of waiting for him to let me know he wants to nurse like I usually do, and you are totally right, I have to remember that every day is going to be different, lol. Thanks
@kelchristmas, I hadn’t thought of checking the [name_m]Farmer[/name_m]'s Almanac, but I really should - I actually breed show rabbits and we breed by moon phases
@stephykneejo, we are having the same experience, he’s almost difficult to take to a restaurant because if we don’t share he sits there and gets upset, lol. He also isn’t fooled when we are eating something and he gets prepared baby food (which I haven’t done that much). He wants what we are having! He has loved everything I have offered him so far. I’m trying to avoid grains, wheat, and sugar, so I’ve been giving him avocado, sweet potato, duck egg yolks (we have our own flock of free range ducks so I don’t mind giving him a runny yolk because I know they’re clean), and pretty much whatever meat & veg we are having for dinner pureed in the food processor. I’ll just start doing it regularly every day instead of every so often. We also recently stopped nursing in the middle of the night. Until about 7.5 months or so he was still getting up around 3am, but would only nurse for about 30 second and fall back to sleep. We are no longer co-sleeping and the 3am feed has ceased, which is nice, mostly just because I wanted the bed back, lol.