Expanding on a recent post- [name_f]My[/name_f] naming style has changed quite a bit over the years I’ve had children. I had my oldest quite young, before I understood things like name popularity and meanings, and my most recent was still several years ago. I have many similar names I like, but my naming style has still changed quite a bit. Which begs the question- how important are sibsets to you? Should you be trapped into a naming style for life? [name_u]Or[/name_u] at least try to pick a name that isn’t so far off from your other children that it feels like “someone else” is naming them?
[name_f]My[/name_f] example stems from my sibset: [name_u]Liam[/name_u], [name_f]Elise[/name_f], [name_u]Benjamin[/name_u] and [name_f]Clara[/name_f].
We like [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f], but a few have mentioned that it’s more grandiose/long in comparison so it fits less. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you automatically nix names that seem too far off from the realm of your old naming possibilities?
I love a mismatched sibset. I think it’d infinitely more fun and exciting to use names I love for each child than “settle” for a name that matches the style of their sibling’s name. As much as I love the matching sweetness of sisters Josephine, Alice, and Florence …something in me is also a huge fan of a eclectic sister set like Tuesday, Beulah, and Clementine. They’re so ridiculously different in style, and I love them for it!
Two of my personal favorite mismatched sibsets of kids IRL are…
Sarah-C|aire, E|ise, R0yce, and Char|otte
&
O|iver, Ch|oe, and A||egra
The only thing that gives me pause in a stylistically is the idea of having a bigger sibset and only one child not fitting in. To use your kids’ as an example, I don’t think I’d do Liam, Elise, Benjamin, Clara and… Wednesday, even if Wednesday was my tippy-top favorite name. The juxtaposition there is so stark that I, myself, would be displeased with saying my children’s names in succession or writing them together on a holiday card. Maybe I’d go with Wendy instead, to get a similar sound but a more cohesive feel (or in the case of Guinevere as you mentioned, I might choose Eve, Winifred, or Winnie, instead).
Use Guinevere!! I didn’t see your recent post, but a few other posts in recent weeks have made me a little annoyed that the general NB culture seems to be overwhelmingly about encouraging “cohesive” sibsets over encouraging people to use names they love (in fact, I’ve seen a few responses recently actively discouraging people from using names they love because they aren’t a “perfect match” stylistically with older sibling(s) and it’s made me quite frustrated!). I actually came very close to posting in the Hot Takes or Name Rants thread about it
Personally, I do think sibling name cohesiveness is nice, but it’s not at all a priority compared to using names I love. I think I would only care if I’d set a very clear theme and then deviated from it with one child, which I wouldn’t say is the case with your sibset and Guinevere at all. This would be more like if all four kids had names starting with B then the last didn’t – in that case, I think the last child might feel left out. Or if instead of Guinevere, you chose something really, really unusual like Persimmon where the child might wish they had a more common name like their siblings. Even in that case, it’s not that the names don’t “match” that bothers me, but more that it might set siblings up for jealousy. I don’t think that’s the case with Guinevere at all and I would 100% encourage you to use it.
And, though my whole argument has been that the cohesion shouldn’t matter, I do want to say that Guinevere doesn’t seem dramatically different than the other names in the sibset. Yes, it’s much less common, but it’s the same number of syllables as Benjamin, and both Elise and Clara feel elegant in the same way Guinevere does. So while I don’t think cohesiveness should be a deciding factor, I did want to point that out in case it makes you feel better
I think it’s nice if twins names aren’t too great a contrast (for example [name_f]Ava[/name_f] and Gertrude) since they will likely be in the same class at school but for siblings in general it really doesn’t matter.
I’m really torn on this. I think it depends on the names in question. I tend to dislike sibsets that are overly matching (Shelly & [name_u]Kelly[/name_u] or [name_u]Jack[/name_u], [name_f]Jane[/name_f] & Jill) or overly different (Mykelti & Florence). To me, it’s like hearing someone play the piano beautifully then suddenly smack the keys.
However
I’ve been coming around to the idea that it doesn’t have to matter. I’ve talked to my parents and older relatives about this before. Across the board, a “sibset” wasn’t even a factor in naming their kids. Also, IRL, you get so used to associating your kids with each other that their names “go together” because the children are related, not necessarily because their names are.
There’s certainly room for nuance. Would a child with a different name than their siblings feel left out? Maybe. Maybe they’d like to stand out. Regardless, settling on a name…being “trapped” into a name wouldn’t truly be the story you’d want for her.
I know a family who had girls named [name_f]Kate[/name_f] and [name_f]May[/name_f]. Then they named their third girl… [name_u]Wynn[/name_u]. I don’t think it matches stylistically, but SHE fits in with her sisters, no question.
I don’t think it’s a huge deal to use matchy-matchy names. In your specific case, I think it works, no problem. You could possibly go with something like [name_f]Gwen[/name_f] or [name_u]Gwyn[/name_u]? Otherwise, [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f] is pretty cool.
I’ve actually found it really common for people’s style to change between eldest and youngest - and, for youngest sibs (esp with bigger age gaps) to have less familiar/more uncommon names.
(for example, some I’ve known include: N0ah, [name_u]Harry[/name_u] and Evange1ine, or [name_u]Jack[/name_u], M0lly, [name_f]Ella[/name_f] and 0cean)
It doesn’t matter. I find NB users are so pro-matching sibsets but outside of the NB community, no one really cares.
Go with what you love. They’re going to grow up into adults living separate lives in separate households, their names and how they match will not matter.
I know I’ve written this here before, but it’s worth pulling out again… with one of my later pregnancies, I asked my husband if the name we chose fit with our other kids’ names. He said, “Yes. The theme is Names We Liked and Chose for Our Children.” So I say go for [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f] - it’s a beautiful name!
It really does not matter. I have to remind myself of that, since a beautifully-matched set gives me great pleasure; but “beautifully-matched set” is such a subjective thing. In real life, many parents seem to think a well-matched set is something obvious like rhyming names or matching initials, and I usually don’t care for those obvious themes myself. I love more subtle sets where each name sets the others off so they shine both individually and together. But, again, that’s subjective. And besides the name nerds, almost no one notices or cares.
I was really stressing in my third pregnancy trying to pick a boy name that “went” beautifully with our older sons’ names, and my husband kept reminding me that it was more important to pick a name we actually liked. Me being me, I still thought [name_u]Thaddeus[/name_u] was too matchy with [name_m]Tobias[/name_m], but he was right, and in real life I very much doubt anyone besides my name nerd bff would have given it a second thought.
[name_f]My[/name_f] siblings and I are a pretty eclectic mix of nature names and Biblical names, and even as a name-aware kid I didn’t think much about how our names “matched” because they were just ours.
As a pp said, if you were considering [name_f]Persimmon[/name_f], I would raise an eyebrow; but [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f]? No worries. You should not feel “trapped” by a style. (I also really love [name_f]Cecily[/name_f], that you’ve considered.)
No, I don’t think it’s a big deal, and only Nameberry people could even make a mental comment on that It could be a lot worse, like [name_u]John[/name_u] and Jabrinakaylynne or whatever, or [name_f]Mary[/name_f] and [name_f]Beyoncé[/name_f].
I definitely don’t think it’s something you should worry about, as others have said the names will go together in people’s heads after hearing them together a lot, even if they’re different stylistically. Also, the vast majority of people aren’t intensely interested in names and likely wouldn’t even think about it. The only exceptions are things that are so blatantly noticeable that they could potentially be made fun of, or one of the kids would feel left out, i.e. [name_m]Bartholomew[/name_m], [name_f]Philomena[/name_f], and [name_u]Gary[/name_u], though even then it’s hard to say how many people would notice or care.
Honestly I used to be so stuck in my ways very pro themes and constantly talking about cohesiveness of sibling sets but I think since actually having the privilege of naming a child I realise that it’s far more important to use a name you love rather settling for cohesion.
Of course as a name nerd I love sibling sets that look cohesive [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] & [name_f]Clementine[/name_f] make my heart sing they are so melodic. However [name_f]Ruth[/name_f], [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] & [name_u]Billie[/name_u] are also adorable so eclectic and fun that they also make my heart sing but for completely different reasons. But above all this heart singing talk my favourite sibling sets consist of parents choosing the names they truly love and their love shines through with each name chosen.
So to summarise choose the name you love [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f] is beautiful. [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f] [name_f]Diana[/name_f] is magical and I think she has the romance of [name_f]Clara[/name_f] but the length of [name_u]Benjamin[/name_u] so I think she does work.
I think I likely wouldn’t go entirely against the style of names I’ve chosen before, even if having the last two kids a few years apart; however, for me that primarily goes for super matchy sibsets with the same parents.
So, no Jakley after [name_f]Alice[/name_f], [name_f]Amelia[/name_f], [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] & [name_u]Arthur[/name_u]. But yes to Jakely after [name_f]Alice[/name_f], [name_u]Harbor[/name_u], [name_u]Dustin[/name_u] & Olympique, they’re already mismatched and eclectic.
I think in your case, I would still go for [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f] but with nn [name_f]Gwen[/name_f], to give her a more approachable name to fall back on if she wants to and also to just fit a little bit better with the sibling names.
[name_f]Gwen[/name_f] vs [name_u]Guin[/name_u], even though brother [name_m]Ben[/name_m]? [name_u]Or[/name_u] is it too close / pushing the similarity?
If [name_f]Gwen[/name_f] is too close to [name_m]Ben[/name_m], perhaps [name_u]Gwyn[/name_u]?
I think [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f] looks lovely but [name_u]Guin[/name_u] doesn’t appeal to me look-wise
So I say go for [name_f]Guinevere[/name_f] - it’s a beautiful name!