Starting a Nickname for yourself

General Name Discussion
1

[name_m]Hi[/name_m]

My name is [name_u]Allison[/name_u]. I’ve been called [name_u]Allison[/name_u] my whole life (except at school I have 1 friend who calls me [name_f]Ally[/name_f]). I’m tired of [name_u]Allison[/name_u]. I don’t like the sound. I don’t want to change my name though, so I was thinking a nn is the way to go. Luckily, I love the nn [name_u]Allie[/name_u]. I’ll be going to university next year, so I was planning on just changing my name when I get there. Not changing it, changing it, but just introducing myself as [name_u]Allie[/name_u] and stuff. Have any of you done this? Does it work? The problem is, when I was 11 I took an outside of school acting class. The first day, I introduced myself as [name_u]Allie[/name_u], but then after that, just referred to myself as [name_u]Allison[/name_u]. I had trouble sticking with it. But I really want to be [name_u]Allie[/name_u]. I’m tired of [name_u]Allison[/name_u].

[name_f]Do[/name_f] you think it’s a bad idea to try to give yourself a nickname? Any tips on how to start and how to continue it? Any experience? Did you find it difficult to answer to your “new” name? Also, I have a friend from high school probably going to the same place. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think it’ll be difficult to get her to call me [name_u]Allie[/name_u]? And if she calls me [name_u]Allison[/name_u], won’t everyone else follow suit?

Also, I don’t like [name_u]Ali[/name_u], [name_f]Ally[/name_f]. I like [name_u]Allie[/name_u]. Is there any way to avoid [name_u]Ali[/name_u] / [name_f]Ally[/name_f]?

2

[name_m]Long[/name_m] story short, when I was 18, I printed out all the forms to legally change my name (I’d been called [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] by friends since I was about 10)… and then never did it. In my mind my name was already changed, but just to keep things like transcripts, passports, visas, residency cards, etc. in check.
I’m 27 now, and only really started self-advocating for people to call me [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] within the past couple years.
The beginning of university is a great time to do a name change! I was much too socially anxious during my undergrad to have talked to anyone in the first 2 years about calling me [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] instead, but when I moved to Spain and discovered how awkward my legal name is in Spanish, [name_m]Luc[/name_m]ía flowed a lot better, and made the transition a bit easier.

I did a [name_m]Bachelor[/name_m] of Education after my undergrad and everyone I met that year called me [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] :slight_smile: Some didn’t even know my legal name until the end of the year. It was really lovely to use the name I feel comfortable with.

I changed my name on all my social media through the past 5 years- pinterest, twitter, facebook, skype… all say [name_f]Lucy[/name_f]. I find that’s been really effective because people see that as “you” and associate it, and if you’re going to get tagged, your friends will eventually adjust and stop saying, “Wait, why can’t I find you!?” :wink:

Your one friend who you’ve known for a while may have a harder time jumping to call you [name_u]Allie[/name_u], but just remind her, if you really want her to call you [name_u]Allie[/name_u]. Having just her call you [name_u]Allie[/name_u] will definitely not make other people call you [name_u]Allie[/name_u]. I, 99% of the time, will call a person whatever they introduce themselves as. If you told me your name is [name_u]Allie[/name_u], that’s what I would call you. If you told me your name was [name_u]Allison[/name_u] and your friend called you [name_u]Allie[/name_u], I would still call you [name_u]Allison[/name_u] until you told me to call you something else.

You will absolutely have [name_u]Allie[/name_u] spelled [name_f]Ally[/name_f] and [name_u]Ali[/name_u]. I have people spell [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] as [name_f]Lucie[/name_f] all the time… not a big deal to me because generally I’m in a [name_m]French[/name_m] area or talking to someone who’s a Francophone. [name_m]Just[/name_m] correct people who spell it [name_u]Ali[/name_u] or [name_f]Ally[/name_f], if it’s worth it. On a group project- definitely correct it. On a Starbucks cup- let it slide.

Sorry, this is so long! Hopefully it helps a bit, though!

3

Oh thanks for all your help! I didn’t mean just have her call me [name_u]Allie[/name_u], I meant if she calls me [name_u]Allison[/name_u], but I introduce myself as [name_u]Allie[/name_u], what will people call me?

4

I’ve gone by both a nickname and my full name during various parts of my life, so I figured I might be able to offer you some advice.

First off, you can’t expect your friend from high school who’s going to the same college as you to call you [name_u]Allie[/name_u]. She’s known you all this time by [name_u]Allison[/name_u] and it would probably feel really weird to her to call you something else. The same goes for your family and anyone else you’ve known up utnil this point. [name_m]Just[/name_m] accept that but don’t worry about it because it’s not going to stop anyone you meet from here on out calling you [name_u]Allie[/name_u].

When you get to college, just introduce yourself as [name_u]Allie[/name_u] and that’s what people will call you. If your high school friend calls you [name_u]Allison[/name_u] and someone else asks about it, just explain that you used to go by [name_u]Allison[/name_u] when you were younger. [name_m]Plenty[/name_m] of people go by a different version of their name when they get older (ex. dropping a childhood nickname, deciding to go by their middle instead, etc), so I doubt anyone will make an issue out of it. When I was younger I went exclusively by a nickname. At some point during college (and for a few years after), I went by my full name, then switched back to my nickname in my mid-twenties. The name that people call me depends on when they met me. Some people use my nickname, some my full and it’s never been a problem. Occasionally people ask, “Why does so-and-so call you by your full name instead of your nickname?” and I just explain that that’s what I used to go by. No biggie. In my experience, people tend to call you by the name that you introduce yourself with.

As for the spelling, just consistantly spell your name [name_u]Allie[/name_u] and people will pick up on it sooner or later. If you see someone writing down your name and they misspell it, all you have to do is nicely say, “Oh, actually I spell it with the -ie.” and most people will correct it.

So yeah, basically just introduce yourself to everyone you meet at college as [name_u]Allie[/name_u] and that’s what they’ll call you. If one of those new people refers to you as [name_u]Allison[/name_u] after you’ve introduced yourself as [name_u]Allie[/name_u], just nicely say, “It’s [name_u]Allie[/name_u].” (Again, this is for new people in your life. Everyone pre-college is probably always going to call you [name_u]Allison[/name_u])

[name_f]Hope[/name_f] that helps! :slight_smile:

5

I think that the natural inclination is to call people by nicknames, so introducing yourself using a nickname will only push that inclination harder. I introduce myself by my nickname and rarely have poeple call me by my full name afterwards, unless we’re in a professional setting. If you are really determined to ensure the nickname [name_u]Allie[/name_u] sticks, then change your Facebook and other social media to reflect it. It might also help to let your [name_m]RA[/name_m] know in advance that you prefer [name_u]Allie[/name_u] so that any identifiers she makes (usually there will be [name_m]RA[/name_m]-made signs on your door to identify who lives inside during the first few weeks or a bulletin board with everyone’s names) use that name.

6

Oh good idea! [name_m]Will[/name_m] they tell me my [name_m]RA[/name_m]'s name and stuff before I go to university?

I don’t want to change my Facebook name yet, because no one in my life right now (except that one friend or two) calls me [name_u]Allie[/name_u] so I think it would really throw them. Maybe in a year though… Maybe a few months into uni…

7

[name_m]Just[/name_m] about everyone considers [name_u]Allie[/name_u] a nickname for [name_u]Allison[/name_u] - it is the first full name they think of when hearing [name_u]Allie[/name_u]. So I don’t think the transition will be hard at all, even if your friend sometimes call you [name_u]Allison[/name_u]. I don’t think in your case it is necessary to change a thing, just start introducing yourself as [name_u]Allie[/name_u] and people will just get it. (If your professor calls you [name_u]Allison[/name_u], say “[name_u]Allie[/name_u] is fine, thanks.”)

I had success with a non-traditional nickname for my name. I went from [name_f]Cristina[/name_f] to [name_f]Nina[/name_f] late in high school. [name_f]My[/name_f] friends immediately accepted it, but my family did not. I didn’t like [name_f]Chrissy[/name_f], [name_f]Tina[/name_f], or [name_u]Chris[/name_u]. [name_f]Nina[/name_f] lasted me up until I got married, when my husband said he liked [name_f]Cristina[/name_f] better and I just stuck with that until now, but I still have old friends that call me [name_f]Nina[/name_f].

Also, I am confused by your comment about [name_u]Ali[/name_u], [name_u]Allie[/name_u] and [name_f]Ally[/name_f]. They are all said the same, so is it just spelling differences that bother you?

8

I started going by my nickname full time at university. I literally walked into my hall of residence and introduced myself as [name_u]Ren[/name_u] (a nickname I’d been using online for years) to my flatmates. The, when I had my first classes and the teacher said ‘[name_f]Karen[/name_f]’ I just tagged on ‘I’m here, but I go by [name_u]Ren[/name_u]’. And that was that. Everyone called me [name_u]Ren[/name_u] from then on. [name_f]My[/name_f] family still call me [name_f]Karen[/name_f] and I don’t mind it :slight_smile:

9

Thanks for both your stories!

[name_u]Ali[/name_u]/[name_f]Ally[/name_f]/[name_u]Allie[/name_u] : I know they are all the same, it’s just the spelling thing I’m a bit worried about. But I guess realistically they won’t write your name at all, so it doesn’t matter.