I know this is an old thread but now I can actually comment on what it was like for us with our decision. We were originally going to find out at the anatomy scan but plans changed. Between my medical history and complications going on with this pregnancy early on, we made the decision to go forward with genetic testing. We wanted to find out if baby was at risk for something or if I was a carrier. Finding out the sex would be a bonus and, not going to lie, I wanted to know too just in case we lost the baby…we’d know if we lost a son or a daughter.
We logged into our account and tried to make sense of the page that came up. My eyes went towards the “low risk” part and then I heard my husband gasp and say “OH! It’s a BOY!!” He cried and we hugged. It was very emotional. Of course, I remembered @jens story and half worried the tests were wrong but we had our scan done recently and he is definitely a boy.
Finding out was definitely the best decision for us. It gave us a chance to bond with our little one and a name to call him, instead of It. It was also helpful for when we announced the pregnancy because we revealed both the pregnancy and the sex at once. Less fuss. Beyond that, it was just all in all an emotional relief. I’d get put off by older people saying things like “oh, your generation has no patience! Waiting is the way to go!” For them, maybe it is. I’m glad I didn’t listen to them though.
I loved reading all these responses! And I see the benefits of both the secret and the finding out.
I was very gender neutral with clothes and the nursery… I think I’m probably just too impatient to wait to be honest haha, but didn’t regret finding out my first baby’s sex at 11 weeks at all. I feel like it allowed me to bond with her in utero. We also very, very openly discussed names with literally everyone, and I loved that part! We ended up choosing the last name added to our list because it just suited her when we saw her (both of us agreed immediately). So the name announcement still surprised everyone!
I’ll be doing exactly the same with this bubba, which I am 98% sure is a girl. I’ll find out next week. My head will probably explode if they tell me it’s a boy
I wanted to know as soon as possible. I think it helps with the preparation a lot to know the sex. It’s still a surprise when you find out, whether it’s during pregnancy or at delivery.
Oh not at all definitely want to know the gender, I’m mad for names and at the moment anyway would want to know the gender so I can prepare. ([name_m]Will[/name_m] be a few years before even TTC though so lots of time to think)
We’re 10+2 with our first (a quarter of the way through, eek!) and we’ve decided we’re going Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] with this one. We’re not going to do up a nursery or anything at this stage anyway as we’re in a small rented flat, was hoping to move to a house before we had kids but the pandemic got in the way so we may have to move with a small baby in tow next summer instead. We can have the little one in a cot in our bedroom at the start and just make do with all the other baby stuff fitting in how we can. Not ideal, but such is life. I want to get gender neutral clothes too as far as possible so we can reuse this baby’s stuff on a younger sibling.
I feel like I’d have to know. I’m definitely a planner, not to mention the lack of gender neutral baby things that I like. I also love the colour pink so would want to use it in the nursery for a girl.
Currently in my 38th week with my third and with all three we’ve been Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] each time! It’s definitely an experience I highly recommend and pretty much husband and I have decided after the birth of our first we don’t plan to ever do it any other way.
For me I just love the memory of in the big moment of delivery, be it c-section of natural (we’ve done both) hearing that first cry and the doctors (who up until that point also didn’t know) hold up my newborn to my hubby and ask him in excitement to make the announcement and my hubby proclaiming in the beaming voice that you don’t ever forget that ITS A BOY or ITS A GIRL
I have heard all the arguments about gender neutral stuff but the thing is being Team [name_u]Green[/name_u] hasn’t ever meant resorting to gender neutra for us. We keep receipts! And one tradition we have now is pickigg nt our a girl take home outfit and a boy one. This time, with our third, we had our son pick out the boy outfit and our daughter pick out the girl one. So we’re excited to find out in these next weeks which one we’ll end up using!
We decorated our nursery before the 20-week ultrasound, so it was gender neutral. We chose to find out at that appointment. Next time around I might do it [name_u]Alix[/name_u]’s way!
We’ve had this conversation soooo many times haha I think we’ll be team green with any and all babies we have, but a large part of me does want to know before hand because I’m an over-planner and don’t like not knowing.
Part of me would love to wait until birth. I think it would be a fun push present. I wish I didn’t care at all about the baby’s sex, but it is fun to dream and imagine about. on the other hand, I think I would find out as soon as I could. I’d be too anxious and so would DH.
With our first, we were both 100% team green, and agreed that we may never get to replicate that kind of joyous surprise ever again. I wouldn’t have changed that decision if I had the chance to do it all over again.
But that only applies to the first one. With our second, we both got tired pretty early on of hearing other people comment about “Oh, Dad must want another boy,” or “[name_m]How[/name_m] perfect to have a girl this time,” “One of each,” and so on. We also found ourselves with these same thoughts, and there were definitely… expectations, for lack of a better word. Finding out this time helped me to feel more connected to the baby, like I was already getting to know him.
I loved keeping it a surprise with my first. At first, I wanted to find out right away. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband wanted to wait until birth, so I agreed to wait this time but find out for the next pregnancy. Here I am pregnant with #2 and I’ve decided to wait again because it was so special to find out at birth. However, one side affect I didn’t anticipate was many friends and family members accusing us of knowing the gender, but not telling. They were quite upset about it too. A plus side to having all the infant clothes neutral colors is that you can always use them for future children, regardless of gender! So, I’m on team wait and see!
You are entitled to know your baby’s gender and keep it a secret. Others should butt out if the parents decide not to tell. I think it is okay to ask once if you are telling, but after that people should MIND their own business.
I think we’ll be team green with any and all babies we have, but a large part of me does want to know before hand because I’m an over-planner and don’t like not knowing.