Surprise or Not?

[name_f]Do[/name_f] y’all plan to keep the baby’s sex a surprise until birth? Or find out as soon as you can?

I’m debating between the two: I want to say surprise, but I also want to do letters spelling out baby’s name as part of the nursery decor and don’t know if I’d have time after.

Personally, I think that not knowing the sex until birth is a little more exciting, but then we’re doing gender neutral nurseries…

Could you possibly get the letters for both boy and girl names ready and then just do the right name when the baby arrives? And you can save the remaining letters for your future second child.

That’s a good idea!

I’m doing a gender neutral nursery, too ([name_f]Winnie[/name_f] the Pooh).

I always find that decision very difficult.
In the end I found out with both, my son Hjörtur and this baby. Both times I was set on not finding out before the baby was born, and both times I changed my mind. To be honest, with Hjörtur I regretted finding out, because I felt it ruined the magic a bit. I can’t explain why this time I decided to find out again, but this time I’m glad I did. I feel like I’m better prepared now. We are sticking to a gender neutral nursery though (owls!), and most of the baby clothes and stuff will be gender neutral. We’re also not telling anyone else, SO and I are the only ones that know the gender of this baby (and people on Nameberry :p).

I wouldn’t wait to find out. I like to know as soon as is possible! We are finding out through genetic testing this time. I like the feeling of calling baby by name. Although we ended up naming our son a different name* than we had called him while pregnant :slight_smile: I can see how it might be fun to find out at birth for some, but that’s just not for me.

My older sister has two children, she found out the gender for her first child (a girl) and kept the second one a surprise. I loved the anticipation, I think it makes the whole experience that much more fun. I plan to do the same if/when I have children!

With this baby, we definitely intend to find out. In theory, I like the idea of waiting. I think it would be really special for the doctor or my husband to announce what the baby is. I’ve also heard that not knowing can be a sort of “incentive” for mothers to push through delivery. I guess that makes sense.

We just think it will be a surprise either way. Either you find out sooner or later. Having the technician tell us will be just as special as finding out after birth. As far as nursery planning and all of that, we’ll probably keep things pretty neutral/unplanned anyway.

Never understood how finding out the sex during an ultrasound is less of a surprise than finding out after birth.

I opted to find out the gender.

Funnily enough, at my 20 week scan [name_f]Hattie[/name_f] had her legs crossed! I couldn’t not know so I booked a private scan.

I enjoyed being able to discuss names seriously once we found out her gender and it also made it all much more real for me as a FTM. I felt I had a deeper connection to her following and it felt magical knowing this first little tidbit that may define who she is or will be.

I did get the “Oh, the surprise is ruined” reactions but to me it was still a surprise, just 20 weeks earlier! (wholeheartedly agree with wandsworth)

We found out with all three of ours. Of course, we were told our third was going to be a boy, and we ended up having a girl, so even if you find out you can still be surprised.

We chose to find out for ours - I couldn’t stand the idea that I COULD know something but didn’t, so figured we’d just find out as soon as we could.

BUT… I kind of regret it and think I’d like to keep future ones a surprise. I found the birth pretty awful, and while lying there being stitched up, unable to even see bubs who’d been placed on my tummy, feeling a bit traumatised after pushing didn’t work and her heart-beat was showing signs of stress and all the medical staff had flooded the room and she was ventoused out… having some kind of surprise at that point would have been really nice I think!

I had thought meeting my baby would be surprise enough, but newborns are so little that what she looks like and her personality didn’t really show through that early.

We waited to find out for all of ours. We always opt for gender neutral stuff (then everyone can use it) and it adds more excitement and anticipation to the actual birth. It’s another fun thing to share too, along with the birth itself. Not only is everyone waiting for a call, but they’re also excited to hear what ‘kind’ of baby it is :slight_smile:

My opinion might be different if I had like 4 of one gender, and was really, really wanting the other one. I’d find out to prepare myself for my emotions.

Also, as someone who has dealt with pregnancy loss multiple times in multiple trimesters, I find that it does create a level of relationship-barrier, which makes things easier if the pregnancy doesn’t produce a living baby.

We are not finding out until birth with this one. It’s our first and we’re 33 weeks along now. I thought I’d need to know asap but honestly was OK with not knowing and kinda just kept thinking, each week, if I was still good with not knowing “so far”… And at the anatomy scan husband and I were still cool with not finding out so we just stayed the course.

I am getting a bit more antsy about not knowing now though! But the excitement of finding out at birth is what keeps me going.

I genuinely believe this is a boy but we don’t have a boy name picked out so that is making it a bit hard. I love love love the girl name we have and would be bummed not to get to use it! I also am a little bit hopeful that it is a girl because I feel like I understand girls better (knowing that every human is unique and all that, but I just have a comfort level with the idea of a girl more). BUT when this baby moves around in my belly and I fondly poke/prod I smile when I think about it being a little boy, like “whatchya doing in there lil dude??” like the idea of “him” stretching out or doing these crazy acrobatics makes me smile.

If this is a girl, I’ll probably be more inclined to again not find out the sex for a subsequent pregnancy, because I really would love to have a daughter. If I already have a daughter I feel like I’d be able to let go of a bit of the suspense/self-imposed ‘pressure’ and go with the flow of not finding out the next time around again. Then again a little boy may bring me just as much joy and delight that I won’t even care for the next one! (we can only afford two kids, so second one would be the last)

I did tell husband that if anything unexpected were to come up in the pregnancy like health issues, twins, concerns during the anatomy scan (or even if the preg had been a super surprise, which this wasnt), then I’d prob want to find out the sex just to take one unknown off the table.

For the OP - could you bookmark the order for both boy and girl’s name letters? I’m thinking if it’s etsy, message a seller and say what you’re thinking of doing and have them create two reserve orders - one for boy name and one for girl name, and that way you or someone else can just place the order as soon as you are able after birth? Nurseries don’t have to be 100 percent done in advance, esp for decor stuff. Make it easy, like have everything decided in advance, so you just have to add it to your cart and checkout.

No kids here, but I know for sure I’ll be finding out as soon as possible. I’m a huge planner and the thought of not being able to plan in-depth because I didn’t find out the gender is a huge no from me.

I think I would want to find out as soon as possible. I think I would like to keep the nursery fairly unisex, but knowing the gender means you have less stress on picking names, as you only have to pick for one gender. I also like the idea of accepting the bedroom with decorations suited for the baby’s name. [name_m]Caspian[/name_m] could have some sea pictures and/or boat figures. [name_f]Liliana[/name_f] could have some flowers, [name_f]Ariana[/name_f] could have silver decorations (from the Welsh meaning ‘arian’ of ‘silver’), Aderyn could have pictures and stuffed animals of birds.
While I would want to know, I think I would want to keep it mostly a secret between me and the father. Maybe tell grandparents closer to the due date. I just wouldn’t want more people to buy overly gendered gifts.

We left it a surprise for the first three. We’re undecided if we’ll find out with #4 in a few weeks at our scan. No regrets so far! We also kept the names secret until they were born.

We only had a ‘surprise’ with #2 which was lovely. With #3 and #4 kept the info to ourselves as that seemed like a good compromise and perhaps more fun for others if they are guessing.

Dh isn’t a fan of surprises in general so we’ll probably find out with this one too. I think it helps with bonding especially for him.

I want to know. I want to be able to focus on one gender name, and although the nursery is going to be mostly gender neutral, I do want to add accents of coral, or navy blue depending on the gender. I also have some decor in our guest room/storage that would work for a girl, and would like to add it to the room ahead of time.

We are going to find out the gender but family and friends will only know after they are born.

I would want to find out! I’m awful at patience.