@katinka
Thanks! So far, weaning has been [name_m]WAY[/name_m] easier than I expected. She didn’t even ask after the first day, and she’s been going to sleep fine without it, which was my biggest worry. I must not have had that much milk left anyway, because I haven’t been engorged or had any issues, and it’s been four days now!
My first son was exclusively bottle fed (we adopted him.) I did talk to a lactation consultant about adoptive breastfeeding, but ultimately decided against it for many reasons. Anyhow, formula worked out just great for him. We held him for every feeding. He’s 6 now and very healthy, extremely smart, and incredibly loving.
When he was 4, I had a surprise bio baby. I breastfed him. The first 4 months were torture. Like [name_f]Lilian[/name_f], I had vasospasm. They put me on a vitamin regimen once the LC figured that out. After that improved, it still hurt a good deal, though they said his latch was fine and he had no tongue ties or anything. They did the craniosacral therapy when he was born (very long labor and he was positioned all wrong.) I tried everything anyone suggested. Prayer is what did it, all glory to God.
I didn’t really start to bond with him until after breastfeeding stopped being so excrutiating. It’s all fine now, but it was a very different experience from my first, who I fell in love with immediately. If I had known it would take four months before it was even bearable, I’m not sure I would have stuck it out. I so much wanted to just be able to relax and enjoy my baby.
I nursed him until just after he turned 2. I did start enjoying it! We had a wonderful nursing relationship in the end. I weaned him in [name_u]December[/name_u] and he still asks for it sometimes. I did try again after he weaned but found dry nursing so painful I just couldn’t do it again. Weaning him was a very lengthy process. I asked everyone I knew and everyone’s babies had weaned themselves. In case it’s helpful to anyone, here’s what we did:
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When he turned one, he was still nursing a few times a night. I was very sleep deprived, so we night weaned him. This meant my husband got up with him when he cried for about a week. He started eating more during the day and sleeping better.
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I realized he would ask to nurse anytime we went anywhere. So he wasn’t interacting with anyone but me, he was using nursing to avoid it. So I stopped nursing him in public. I started nursing him only in one spot on the couch.
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I dropped one feeding at a time till we were down to just bedtimes. I spent about six months gradually dropping feedings! You can probably do it much faster than this, this is just what worked for us. He was VERY resistant to dropping feedings, I think he planned to nurse till he left for college.
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Then I dropped bedtimes (his dad had to take over bedtime)
Nursing in public: [name_m]Just[/name_m] do it if you want to. I nursed in public without a cover all the time. No one ever said anything. I think a lady might have glared at me about it in a Burger [name_m]King[/name_m] in South [name_f]Carolina[/name_f] once. But she might have been expressing her disapproval of any number of other things as well. Really, if people want me to know they are unhappy about something I’m doing, they are going to need to be specific.
If actually got a lot more unkind comments about formula than I did about breastfeeding. But I’m sure that the reception you get depends a lot on where you live, etc.
My supply has really been fluctuating. I felt really engorged for a couple days then have been feeling really depleted, seems to be finally leveling out a little now.
We introduced foods this month so I have been making a concerted efforts to keep my supply in demand, expressing etc. This baby is taking to food really well after exclusively breastfeeding. The first couple weeks though were a big learning curve, everything seemed to come back out haha
[name_u]Baby[/name_u] is ultra cute these days when nursing. If I am slow to offer the breast he trys to pull it to the mouth with the little chunky chunk hands and visibly displays excitement to nurse!
@tarynkay You sound like an absolute trooper nursing through all that pain! Amazing job, well done 
I’m so lucky not to have had any of these obstacles that you ladies have faced.
@cleaver Ahhh adorable! I’m glad weaning is going well. We had a suuuuper slow start with [name_u]Kit[/name_u] (half laziness on our part, half over-active gag reflex) but he’s doing well now. I’ve actually started to cut back on breastfeeds a little because he tends to fill right up on milk if he can and then just wants to play with his food (= redecorate the kitchen).
I’m having the same problem I had last time with dropping weight like billy-o while breastfeeding. I’m eating a ton to try and mitigate it but for some reason my body just seems to do this while breastfeeding. I’m getting a bit concerned because we’d like a third (and final) baby before toooo long and I want to stay a healthy weight for TTC!
Was around some extremely ignorant people in regards to breastfeeding this weekend. It was so frustrating. They were suggesting to a first time mom with a young baby that she should stop nursing and exclusively formula feed, baby has a minor issue, that they thought could be from the breastfeeding! They didn’t like that I said I had never heard of breastmilk being correlated to the issue but have heard of it from formula. I understand they were coming from a defensive position as they chose not to nurse any of their children but don’t make the new mom feel bad when she has been trying so hard to breastfeed. Apologies, just wanted to vent!
Argh sounds infuriating! That’s the sort of thing that could make a new mum stop breastfeeding, even if she wants to continue.
@cleaver, it’s honestly encouraging to hear your story about your first not gaining weight, but your second experience being easier. @tarynkay, also nice to know I’m not alone with the painful vasospasm. I so hope that breastfeeding my next children will be easier… @tarynkay, we are in the homestudy process for an infant adoption, currently. I’m glad to hear you considered adoptive breastfeeding/inducing lactation. I wish more people knew that was an option, even if, like you, they still choose bottle feeding.
The past month has been more of the same. H hasn’t gained despite adding donor milk supplementation and solids to the mix. He has taken to solids like no kid I have ever seen… happily wolfs down everything we give him. Full baby-led weaning. We never give him anything by spoon or put it in his mouth for him, and still he downs whole avocados and fistfuls of butternut squash. So appetite and/or intake are not the problems. Essentially our whole day most days is spent feeding him. Because he sleeps all night through without waking, I aim to fit in 8-12 nursing sessions during the daytime (I also pump 2-3 times during his 12-13 hour sleep). So between all those breastfeeds, 3 big meals of solids, and the donor milk supplementation as well as giving him every drop of my own pumped milk… there is little time to do anything else throughout the day. It baffles me that he isn’t gaining. He gained just under 2oz last month. But I am honestly resigned to just wait it out and not stress any further about it. We have been waiting a couple months for the pediatric allergist… our appointment isn’t until mid-[name_u]June[/name_u] so we still have a ways to go yet. I guess he isn’t high enough priority because he is otherwise completely healthy and meeting/exceeding all milestones. He is such a happy baby, but it is still hard not to worry. He has now been working at this stubborn 13th pound for 4 months, and every day he doesn’t gain, he falls further and further off the charts. But I am more confident every day that he is not in dire danger. It’s not an ideal situation, and I worry he may be stunted for life, but I am not worried anymore that he could be gravely ill. He is just too happy and healthy in every other way.
Wow @medfordkung! [name_f]Praise[/name_f] to you, for such dedication! You are doing fabulous. It does sound like baby is happy, if he was starving you wouldn’t have such a great attitude!
Hey there everyone,
I might create a separate thread for my questions if I don’t get many responses here but figured it’d be good to bump this resource up, anyway.
First, here’s a bit of context: I’m nursing my 19-month old son and, so far, have not pushed to stop nursing, aside from no longer nursing in public. He currently nurses about 2-3x a day and 1-2x a night (roughly: once randomly, at naptime, sometimes at bedtime; then sometimes midnight and about 6am-ish). I am ambivalent about continuing to nurse until a certain age, but want to wean gently. He asks to nurse, but if it’s not a good time, he doesn’t mind another snack/drink if hungry/thirsty or another means of comfort/closeness if that’s what he’s seeking. We’re apart for 8 hours four times a week when I work, and he has no issue skipping nursing when I’m not around - but wants to nurse when I get home. I haven’t pumped to leave him bottles since his twelfth month.
We’d probably just happily bumble along like this until he self-weaned, but we’ll be apart for a full week in [name_u]July[/name_u], when he is 21 months old. Because of that impending separation, I have a few ideas in mind, and I’d love to hear any feedback from mamas who have had similar experiences or know of tricks to make it work.
Option 1: wean him over the next two months so that he’s fully weaned before the trip
Option 2: begin pumping again to build up a freezer stash; reintroduce expressed breastmilk; pump on the trip to maintain supply; pick up where we left off when I return
Option 3: cut down on the frequency of nursing over the next two months; don’t leave any expressed breastmilk; pump on the trip only to relieve discomfort; pick up where we left off (if he still wants to after a week-long break)
Option 4: something I haven’t considered - fill me in!
Obvious concerns are that it will be sudden and surprising and hard for him; that my supply could tank and we could lose the option to continue; that I could have engorgement and risk blocked ducts, mastitis, etc. while traveling. Does anyone have a favorite manual pump to recommend? We’ll be flying, staying in a hotel, camping in a national park, driving long distances, visiting friends - so finding a private place will be tough, and there will be stretches where we have limited access to electricity. Something budget-friendly and discreet is in order.
I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s tips and stories. Thanks, all.
That’s a hard situation. I left my first daughter overnight with my mom when she was about 19 months old. We went on a late “honeymoon”. I didn’t pump at all, and she was drinking cow’s milk at that point. I continued to breastfeed her until 2 years old, and I only weaned because we were going to be flying to Mexico and I didn’t want to be breastfeeding her on the plane. If you don’t want to be pumping while you are gone, I think slowly decreasing nursing sessions would be best.
[name_u]Love[/name_u] this thread!
Im [name_u]Sky[/name_u], been breastfeeding since my first and still going, yes supply and demand is really a thing! It has had trots and peaks, had thrush a few times and then mastitis (that pain tho). Now here I am with my new little one!
@seedsandstones
Weaning is a pain… My first and second I did together, the first lost interest. Second was doing it as a behaviour (like before sleep) so cut him off completely once third had arrived (he got over it!). Third is still going but only in morning. When fourth is home I might just keep going for a bit, it is not interfering yet so we shall see!
These stories are amazing and you are all such inspiration!
Much love
Hello all, it’s been a while since I’ve checked in. Our newest addition is 5 weeks old now and I am EBF. He is an eater! At birth he was 7lb 8oz, and at his 1 month check up he was a whopping 11 lbs!
When my milk came in I had a bit (a lot) of an over supply, so I was pumping a couple times a day on top of feeding on demand just to try to avoid mastitis and luckily, even though it was close for a little, I did. I pumped, used hot compresses and showers, and now I only pump once, sometimes twice a day on top of feedings. The upside is I am building a big supply for when I go back to work in [name_f]September[/name_f]. If it continues like this, I will probably look into donating some.
I also have a pretty forceful let down, [name_m]Atlas[/name_m] often pulls himself off, coughing, leaving me spraying milk until I can cover it and get him to latch again. I think it is contributing to his gassy-ness. I have tried the gas relief drops, and gripe water a couple times and I didn’t notice a big difference in his behavior. Has anyone changed their diet/cut something out and found an improvement in babies behavior? He doesn’t have a rash or vomiting, but he is much gassier and spits up more than my first so I wonder if there is something else I could do. I know most common thing women cut out is dairy, but I eat very little. I do usually have a string cheese each day, but that’s it, I already use non-dairy creamer in my coffee.
@katieree Congratulations again! I would say that at 5 weeks, gassiness (even extreme gassiness) is actually very normal. Babies’ little digestive systems are still starting up and settling into processing everything, and at the same time your supply is still regulating and baby is still learning how to latch and feed efficiently.
I wouldn’t rush into exclusion diets or anything like that yet — for now, I would say just make sure his latch is as good as it can be and give yourselves a little bit of time to get into the swing of nursing. Keep nursing sessions calm and without time pressure, and find a position (or positions) that is comfortable for you both and enables good attachment. My babies preferred different positions — they’re all different!
I had oversupply and forceful letdown too and it does make it that bit more difficult for tiny babies to cope with, especially at the beginning. It makes for a lot of on-off-on-off, which also doesn’t help with the wind. However, he will be able to cope with it better and better as he gets older, and your supply should soon settle down a bit too (6-10 weeks is the usual time frame for this).
Have you tried a little bit of abdominal massage or bicycling his legs to release some of the wind? Also, if you can carry him around or sit with him upright as much as possible (like on your shoulder), I found this helped hugely.
Good luck!
Hello! 3 months pp here and EBF is going well. He is gaining well and his stomach issues have gotten much better. Only thing is, I just got my period! Has any one else that EBF gotten AF so soon?
With my first, I had an IUD put it 10 weeks pp, so AF didn’t show up until I had it remover 2.5 yrs later. I just didn’t expect it to return so soon. I figured when he started weening but 3 months pp?! Ugh
I’m just glad that I told hubby we had to be safe, just in case, until after his vasectomy. I was having crazy dreams that I got pregnant right away without knowing, and since we are Done having more kids I was freaking out. I’m happy now that those dreams pushed me to make sure we didn’t accidentally “catch the egg.”
I tried to do this when my son was born, but the next day for some reason my nipples were so tender and i was in extreme pain. I feel like i was getting stabbed or something. Them i tried pumping but it was even worse. I feel so bad, but i hurt so bad i wanted to go to the hospital even though i was already there lmao. Idk man, it sucks. Its so healthy for the baby and i felt like i let him down.
@katieree [name_f]Glad[/name_f] to hear it’s all going well now, sounds like he and you are doing fantastically!
My friend got her period back like clockwork the month after giving birth; mine took almost a year (until I’d all but stopped nursing). Everyone’s different!
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone,
I am also a breastfeeding peer counselor, so happy to support if needed.
I am currently breastfeeding my 21 month old, and 7.5 weeks pregnant.
We had a rough time initially with tongue tie and allergies but managed to exclusively breastfeed and it became very easy before too long!
My period came back at 18 months post partum, then I got pregnant again.
Hey again everybody,
I’m about to get a bit personal, so I apologize if anyone’s squirrely about it.
I’m curious if anyone has experienced breastfeeding having a negative impact on sex drive or ability to “get into it.” I’m still nursing my 23-month-old son and have had almost no libido since he was born. This is a big change for me, and it’s had unpleasant effects on my self-esteem and my partnership. It’s double trouble: I did not have a period until 21 months postpartum, and I do think there was a hormonal element. I haven’t had another period yet (six weeks from the start of LMP) so I can’t say for sure if regaining my cycle will improve things. I’m also finding my breasts and nipples are practically numb, which makes stimulation during “quality time” either solo or with my partner…useless. Essentially, I’m on the verge of stopping breastfeeding just to see if my sorely missed sex drive returns, along with an ability to become aroused by breast/nipple touching.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] any of you have similar stories or positive changes noticed after ending breastfeeding? It’s gone on so long and so completely that I’m worried there’s some kind of nerve damage or a subconscious mental block? Augh!
[name_m]Just[/name_m] wanted to pop in and say hi! I’m still pumping for my twins at 5 mpp & I’m very proud of it. I do have to supplement as I’m only making about 50-75% of their intake. Miss you all!
Hey @lainy, great to hear from you and that’s amazing! Fantastic work, it must be a huge commitment pumping for twins and you are very rightly proud of it [name_f]Hope[/name_f] you’re all doing well. [name_m]How[/name_m] are the girls?