I am contemplating having another baby, but we are not officially TTC or anything yet. But I would like to hear your stories about transitioning from one child to two. [name]How[/name] old was your first? Did they accept the new baby? Was it hard caring for a newborn and another child? Did you feel more confident as a parent, or chaotic? What did you do to make your life easier? Tips, advice, well wishes… I’ll take anything you got! 
Oh, I am curious to read the replies to this thread. We are ttc and I am curious what it will be like to transition from one to two.
For us, the transition from 1-2 and 2-3 was harder than 3-4 and 4-5 (we are expecting #6 this summer). It had very little to do with the children and more with our approach to parenting. The spacing between our children is close with the exception of 1 and 2 (7.5 years), then (as of the summer) we will have 5 in 6 years. We have never had issues brining a new baby home as far as jealousy, it’s mostly curiosity.
I had my 2 15 months apart (happily, but unintentionally). Honestly, with my daughter that young, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. She was too young to be jealous really, she was still in diapers, she slept pretty well, but it wasn’t always super consistent. The hard part was lack of sleep. I couldn’t nap when my son napped because I still had to care for my daughter. However, after a year, when [name]Jude[/name] was really starting to be a little person and do things on his own, it has been relatively easy. Going out is more difficult, but at home, they play well together and entertain each other, leaving me to get more things done around the house. I feel like if we had waited until she was 2-4 to have another baby, it would have been different, but we’ll never know for sure.
For myself, I definitely felt more confident with him. My daughter had a lot of weird health problems in her first year and my son was so easy comparatively. I was more relaxed after the first month. Again, though, when we go out, I’m a little more nervous because I have 2 to keep track of instead of 1. But for that, a double stroller is fantastic 
I had my 2 15 months apart (happily, but unintentionally). Honestly, with my daughter that young, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. She was too young to be jealous really, she was still in diapers, she slept pretty well, but it wasn’t always super consistent. The hard part was lack of sleep. I couldn’t nap when my son napped because I still had to care for my daughter. However, after a year, when [name]Jude[/name] was really starting to be a little person and do things on his own, it has been relatively easy. Going out is more difficult, but at home, they play well together and entertain each other, leaving me to get more things done around the house. I feel like if we had waited until she was 2-4 to have another baby, it would have been different, but we’ll never know for sure.
For myself, I definitely felt more confident with him. My daughter had a lot of weird health problems in her first year and my son was so easy comparatively. I was more relaxed after the first month. Again, though, when we go out, I’m a little more nervous because I have 2 to keep track of instead of 1. But for that, a double stroller is fantastic Either way, chances are you’ll be nervous and excited and everything will hopefully turn out better than you expected. Good luck!
Our first two were super-close in age (13.5 months apart), so the transition was more about the logistics of caring for two small children instead of one. [name]James[/name] did have an adjustment period, as all older siblings do, but since he was still so little, I think he adapted relatively quickly. When our third was born, [name]James[/name] was 2 and a half, and [name]Will[/name] was one and a half. So, there was somewhat more jealousy from [name]James[/name] that time around, and I needed to spend a lot of extra time with him (and individually, with [name]Will[/name], of course) to make sure he felt important.
The best decision we’ve ever made as parents was to hire a postpartum doula when our third was born. Not sure if there are many of those in your neck of the woods, but a mother’s helper of any kind would also be a necessity. Our postpartum doula was really awesome; she would come for a few hours, a few times a week to do special activities with [name]James[/name] and [name]Will[/name], and sometimes she would do our laundry! Sometimes I just needed someone to talk to, in the afternoon when nobody seemed to want to take his nap and I was exhausted. And many times, I would hand her all three kids for an hour and go straight to bed (what a godsend). It costs money, but you will definitely not regret hiring some help, especially if you live far away from family.
I’m due [name]March[/name] so #2 isn’t here quite yet, but I will try to help the best I can. [name]Will[/name] is almost three so he doesn’t fully understand what’s happening but he sees us excited so he’s excited. He draws [name]Maggie[/name] pictures, talks to her, gives her kisses. With my second pregnancy, I feel a lot more confident and at ease. I know what to expect and I know what I’ll do differently from our first pregnancy with [name]William[/name]. I wish you and your family all the best!
The age difference between my daughter and son are 4 1/2 years. My daughter has been very sweet to him and its nice that she was out diapers and a bit older when he arrived. Going from 1 to 2 was more difficult for me than anyone else. I had all this time with my little girl and have dealt with a bit of guilt that our connection is bit changed now that her brother is here. He’s fast approaching one year and it feels like it has flown by. I am more tired and found what little grown up free time I had earlier is all but gone. It is difficult finding childcare for two than it is with one.
That being said I have no regrets and feel very confident with caring for him then I did with her. I don’t think I cracked open the “What to expect” books at all this time around. It’s wonderful to see them together and I love saying “your lil brother” or “big sister”. They will have each other for the rest of their lives and I love that.
I wish you the best. We only have these little guys for such a fleeting time before they grow up and move out knowing “everything” lol It’s exhausting but such a blessing!
When our second baby is born, our son will be 5, just under 2 months into Kindergarten. We never intended to wait that long, but life had other plans - My mom got cancer, infertility, etc. My son is desperate for a sibling 6 out of 7 days a week… so I am hoping that this will be an easy transition for our family. I am super excited to have [name]Weston[/name] be an only child on his first day of school. We can totally make the day all about him.
I’m anxious to see what other parents have experienced.
My kids are 19 months apart. I found the newborn stage not too hard with two kids but as my youngest got older it did get more difficult. Now they are 3 1/2 and 5. I would totally say it’s worth it to have a second child and I always knew I would, but it is definitely much more work. You do get pulled in two different directions sometimes but it teaches each kid to share your time and their toys.
Our first two are 28 months apart. #1 had a decent amount of sibling rivalry right away. We had some regression on her part – our very smart and social DD started wetting her pants (she was fully daytime potty trained before #2 arrived), she started whining alot and not wanting to play alone, and she had temper tantrums. She was never mean or rough with the baby. I think she was punishing me and DH more than the little one. She got over it within a month or 6 weeks once we got into a schedule again and she realized that her life was not all that different.
I didn’t do any crazy prep to get her ready for being a big sister. We talked about babies and looked at pictures and I got her involved in getting her sister’s stuff (clothes and room) ready. Once she arrived and life settled down a little bit, I was able to get [name]Scarlett[/name] more involved in the baby’s life. She’d be my helper for getting diapers, wipes, or bringing me a blanket. She loved having jobs that helped around the house. When I was nursing #2, I made time to read a book with #1 or we’d put on a special show for her. It helped to have that quiet time where we all sat and I wasn’t having to worry about her getting into something and me being unable to immediately respond.
It was a while ago so I’m not remembering everything right now, but if you have more specific questions, I will try to answer. [name]One[/name] thing I do remember was that it was a strange feeling to have 2 because DH and I had to “tag team” and split up alot of the time. Often I’d be with the baby and he’d take our toddler outside or off to do something else. It works out very well to have 2 parents and 2 kids-- but my DH worked alot and if [name]Scarlett[/name] was used to having that one on one constant attention from DH (while I fed the baby for example) then when he was at work and she didn’t get that, she was unhappy. So we tried not to completely rely on the philosophy of “you take one, I’ll take the other”
I personally think that the age of #1 and their temperment/personality does come into play during their transition to becoming an older sibling. Also the parent’s reactions and demeanor to the new situation (staying calm/not adding tons more changes to the situation, etc.).
Yeah, I’m definitely worried about temper tantrums and the like with [name]Rowan[/name]. She gets jealous if we play with the cat for more than 30 seconds. But I definitely want her to experience a sibling, I was an only child and while it may have been cool to get all the attention when I was a kid, I desperately wish I had a sibling now that I’m an adult. If we get pregnant this summer, which is the plan as of now, [name]Rowan[/name] will be 2 1/2 give or take a month or two. I don’t want her to be close enough in age to the baby that they will still play together and be friends growing up.
Thank you all so much for your stories. They were all very informative and made me feel more relaxed about the situation. 
I’m now expecting my third. Adding another child is so worth the work. It will be more than double the workload and at times it will feel impossible just getting the kids out of the house but it’s well worth it. My first two are three years apart nearly to the day. This baby will be five years younger than my oldest and two years younger than my second daughter.
Our transition from one to two went really smoothly. [name]Henry[/name] was 2.5 (almost to the day) when [name]Julia[/name] was born. He loves his sister so much. [name]Even[/name] now, he still loves to hug and kiss on her, even though she gets annoyed by him (she’s one now). For me, it wasn’t hard caring for a newborn and a toddler as [name]Henry[/name] is a very easy going child.
My best advice is to accept help when it’s offered!
My son would have been a big brother at 2 1/2 years if I had not had a miscarriage during my second pregnancy. I remember thinking that it was going to be very difficult having two children only 2 1/2 years apart, as my son was going through the “terrible twos.”
However, it was not meant to be, but I became pregnant again and had my daughter when my son was 3 1/2. He was so excited, and seemed to understand more at age 3 1/2. He wasn’t jealous (most of the time), and was so happy to have a little sister.
Going from one child to two children is never easy, but sometimes a little bit of an age difference can be helpful.
I have one child, but am expecting again. Our son will be 2 1/2 when this one makes it here, so I don’t have personal experience yet but i have looked at this sort of advice for ages and here is what I have found: get into a routine as early as you can, and rest when the children rest. Accept all offers of help, heck, bribe or blackmail friends and family to help you out. Your house will be messier, deal with it. And spend some quality time with your eldest child, keep things as normal as possible. Expect the first few weeks to be chaotic, just roll with it. Soon it all works out, and it will be worth it.
I’ve been wondering about this too. it seems like the huge enormous lifestyle adjustment is made when you become a parent, full stop. I believe yo all that the workload doubles, but surely the mentality, orientation and lifestyle doesn’t change that much from 1 to 2? Or, at least not as much as the change from zero to one?
For us, the transition was a lot easier from 1 to 2 than 0 to 1.
The mentality and lifestyle stays the same I’m sure… I worry about juggling tasks personally. It seems like there’s no time for “adult breaks” throughout the day because one child would be eating while another is trying to lay down for a nap, one wants to play very loudly and the other is asleep in the next room, etc. I am really bad at multitasking and I like to keep things on a tight schedule so I can focus on one thing at a time. I worry I won’t be able to “keep up” I guess…
A friend of mine told me she’s expecting her 3rd today. Her sons are 7 and 2 1/2. I asked her if she was nervous to have 3, and she said “It probably won’t be much harder than 2.” All I could think in my head was “Really? 3 kids sounds panic inducing…” I know I definitely want 2, so I guess I’m just gonna have to roll with the punches and deal with it.