In the future, it is my dream to adopt. I’m very, very, very far from his because I’m only 16! But I was hoping if I could get your opinions on these names I would love to adopt from Ethiopia. I also wanted to adopt from Vietnam, Cambodia and [name]China[/name]. However, due to governments, we can no longer adopt from Vietnam or Cambodia at this time. I was wondering what you thought of these suggestions?
The child you adopt most likely will have a name that is tied to their culture. If you plan to change that name, I think keeping the original in the middle is best so your child will always have a piece of their history. That is what my parents did for my brother who was adopted from Thailand. I was adopted too, but I was born in the US and adopted right after birth so I didn’t have another name.
I like the first names you picked out, especially [name]Vivienne[/name] and [name]Sebastian[/name].
I’m liking [name]Grace[/name] or [name]Gracie[/name]…I agree with sweetpeacelove in the sense that you should keep their original names as their middle names. Have fun!
[name]Hi[/name] there. Your interest in adoption one day is admirable, and as you noted, it will be a long time before you have to make any naming decisions. That said, here are some thoughts:
When you adopt a child from overseas, they are often not infants, maybe 2 or even more depending on the length of the process. By the time they are able to be adopted, they may already know their names. Their name may be a connection to parents who were not able to care for them due to hardship; it’s a part of who they are. I know some adoptive parents change the child’s name entirely, but I really think it’s worth consideration to keep the original name, or make it a middle name and give an American first name.
It looks as though you like the idea of middle names with a connection to the child’s heritage. You may already know this but perhaps grouped origins together, but Chinese names are not the same as Vietnamese names and vice versa. Thien, which is on your list, would be as authentic to a Chinese person naming an Swedish baby [name]Giuseppe[/name] because it’s a European name. And the thing with Chinese is that the sound on its own is meaningless unless you know which character it represents. Take “tao” on your list (though it’s not pronounced tay-oh). Without context, the sound “tao” is meaningless. There are more than 20 characters that make the sound “tao”, with meanings from “peach” to “big wave” to “gluttonous” to “dunce”. If you meet someone from [name]China[/name] and say, “My Chinese name is Tao,” they will likely ask you which “tao” it is. (Hopefully not “gluttonous”, haha!) If you do end up adopting from [name]China[/name] one day and want to select a real Chinese name, I’d advise you to get in touch with people who are native Mandarin speakers, like at a cultural centre or a university, and have them help you select a name that has a good meaning but you can also pronounce.
I hope this doesn’t come across as harsh. I’m just trying to help you learn a little about Chinese culture. I married into a Chinese family and have been learning Mandarin for about 18 months; I’m no expert myself!
I want to adopt one day also although I might be closer to it than you (not by much though). SO and I are still deciding where to adopt from and how many but I would say giving your child one American name and then making their original name their new middle name would be the best bet.
I myself would love to adopt from [name]Russia[/name] so for example if we adopted a little boy named [name]Aleksandr[/name] I would probably change the spelling to [name]Alexander[/name]. However of his name was [name]Boris[/name] or Filat I would probably change his name to [name]Matthew[/name] [name]Boris[/name] or [name]Joseph[/name] Filat.
I myself have always dreamed of adopting! I would like to adopt from [name]Asia[/name], Eastern Europe and [name]Africa[/name], especially Ghana where I worked in an orphanage
I am frankly appalled by the ignorance of international adoption implicit in this post. You do realize that Cambodia closed YEARS ago thanks to corruption? And Vietnam is extremely selective – I believe the only children available are older or special needs. Ethiopia has been plagued with corruption, kidnapping, and baby laundering. The waiting list for a non-special needs kid in [name]China[/name] is over four years. [name]Russia[/name] has closed completely. I hope you’re aware that the MAJORITY of children in orphanages in Eastern Europe have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Have you ever heard of Reactive Attachment Disorder? Google it. I also suggest you read the blogs [name]Harlow[/name]'s Monkey, [name]China[/name] Adoption Talk, and First Mother Forum. Also the book “The Connected Child”.
All that said, why not adopt from US foster care? It’s free and the need is urgent – there are thousands of children waiting for families.
And even if you actually do your research and decide you still want to adopt internationally, changing your child’s name is an unforgivable violation. They have literally nothing else. Why would you take their name away from them? They’re already losing their language, heritage, and culture.
Oh, and bear in mind I’m saying all this as someone who plans to adopt from foster care and internally from Eastern Europe (special needs). That’s why attitudes like this absolutely infuriate me.
@augusta she’s 16. Take posts like this as seriously as the ones from teenagers stating their dream family includes 7pairs of twins and preemie triplets. It’s just daydreaming and it’s rather harmless.
Btw thank you for the link to the [name]China[/name] Adoption Talk blog. My sister (married, in her 30s, doctoral student, infertile) is on the wait list for a mild SN child from [name]China[/name] (the current healthy infant waitlist is about 6 yrs, btw) and it looks quite interesting.
Augusta_Lee, I understand you’re “frankly appalled” but this is a 16-year-old girl with dreams of adopting “one day.” Perhaps the proper response to her ignorance is instruction (a la MaggiefromCanada) rather than outrage.
TheFutureMrsB, as Augusta_Lee mentioned, [name]Russia[/name] is closed to adoption by American parents.
I don’t care about teenies imagining their five sets of identical twins. Actual children are actually being hurt by EXACTLY these attitudes towards adoption. This is why adoptions disrupt. This is why children are laundered. This is why programs close. I was qualified for the [name]Russia[/name] program; I was planning on bringing home an older child with Down syndrome. Now that child is going to be transferred to an adult mental institution where they will spend the rest of their short life in a crib. [name]Russia[/name]'s excuse for closing? Ignorant American adopters. This is an extremely personal issue for me. I know that my tone should have been instructive, not furious, but it’s difficult.
If this poster was 36, not 16, and had already submitted her dossier to adopt you might have a leg to stand on. I highly doubt this particular 16yo girl has hurt any waiting children in [name]Russia[/name] by not following the international news as closely as you might like. Seriously, pick your battles, or else you cry wolf so many times your outrage on a truly outrageous topic won’t be registered.
You are aware that 16 year old girls are not 16 forever? And that these attitudes do not exist in a vacuum? Let me repeat that again: these attitudes do not exist in a vacuum. They are endemic and hurtful. The fallacious idea that there is a surplus of healthy waiting infants is what employs baby launderers and corrupt adoption agencies. The poster’s ignorance hurts these children in the same way a five year old on the playground using “gay” as a perjorative hurts me as a queer person: they are symptomatic of a much larger, much more serious set of attitudes, assumptions, and prejudices that effect all our lives. Please widen your view. I’m crying wolf because there’s a wolf in the room. You are simply choosing to ignore it.
Also frankly you should be a little more savvy. Russian adoptions were closed as a revenge tactic as the US continued to pursue an anti-Putin domestic agenda within [name]Russia[/name]. The ‘ignorant Americans’ argument was just a smokescreen justification.
Oh, my dear. Nothing is that simple. The fact is that a suspicious number of adopted Russian children have died at the hands of their American adopters. Many more have been put in unaccredited “cure camps” for [name]RAD[/name], where there is little or no oversight. The fact is that [name]Russia[/name] had an excellent excuse for pursuing this punitive legislation: children ARE being killed and they ARE being abused, regardless of [name]Russia[/name]'s ‘true motivation’.
Hey [name]Billie[/name], I think it’s really admirable of you to dream of adoption! I agree with most posters that keeping a child’s culture as part of their name is very important, and it’s something to keep in mind. Plus, name preferences change all the time, so the list you build now might not resemble the list you’ve got when the time finally comes–when I was sixteen, I dreamed of naming a little girl [name]Celestine[/name]. I’m almost twenty now and I’d never even consider it! Those are all very nice names though. [name]Just[/name] keep looking around, building your list, and grow (not to sound like I’m talking down to you at all, I just can’t think of another word) into healthy, successful woman that the adoption agencies are looking for!
