I had the same issue. We waited until after second baby was born to tell most people because we got tired of hearing it with the first.
With my first, we pretty much decided on his name before I was even pregnant. I love his name and it just felt right, I knew that people’s opinion on his name wouldn’t bother me at all so we told everyone. We even had his name on the baby shower invites.
With my daughter, I was very unsure and indecisive. We ended up going to the hospital with 3 names and making the final choice after we met her. We did tell a few people are top choices in names since I wanted their opinions and thoughts. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband had two other cousins that were due within 2 weeks of me and we were all having girls so I didn’t want them to “steal” our names so I didn’t discuss names with his family. When people asked I would just say that we were not agreeing on names and still deciding.
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Congratulations!!
My advice would be to keep the secret. You’ve made it this far already and people can wait a bit longer. They’ll be fine. Focus on yourself and your little one.
We kept our baby’s name a secret until we announced his birth. We didn’t want the input or opinions, plus we felt naming a baby is a deeply personal experience for the parent(s). Besides, everyone knew we were having a boy so we felt perfectly fine keeping one thing from them. It worked pretty well and we have no regrets.
Probably wise choice in your situation to keep it secret. We kept ours to ourselves until we were completely sure that was her name, and knew negative opinions wouldn’t sway us. (We considered keeping it to ourselves until birth but my SIL was pregnant at the time as well and we didn’t want any problems with having similar names or being accused of namenapping etc. we figured for us it would be better for everyone to know beforehand)
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I’ve not had any children yet but I plan on not telling people until baby is born. Mostly because I don’t want to find out the gender until birth but also I think people can be a lot more negative about a name when you haven’t already had the baby and this just puts you off! Would maybe tell my sisters and best friend some choices that we were thinking about using but wouldn’t tell collegues or other friends.
My parents are ok with being surprised as is everyone else. It’s my future mother-in-law that has the issue. It’s been brought to my attention by some mutual acquaintances that she’s been going around telling people how cruel we’ve been to her our entire pregnancy by not letting her participate in any of it. Um…excuse me? I swear this woman never ceases to amaze me. She’s so overly dramatic it’s to the point where I want to tell my fiancé that she needs to either get her act together or she’ll be “participating” even less than she already is. I don’t want that kind of energy around my girls.
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Wow I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with all of that from your future MIL! Sometimes they get better after the baby was born? (Mine did a little lol but her brand of horrible is a little bit different) I hope she starts behaving soon!
We told people my daughter’s name before she was born and I totally regret it. People were really rude about it, especially people who had no say in it at all (like my co workers…one whose daughters’ names were [name_f]Izzabella[/name_f] and [name_f]Renesmee[/name_f] lol). As soon as she was born though it stopped completely–actually when I tell people her name now I get the opposite reaction, people love it and say that it fits her really well! Her name is [name_f]Mabel[/name_f] and its spunky and cute just like she is!
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I love the name [name_f]Mabel[/name_f]! [name_m]How[/name_m] can anyone dislike it? Gotta love co-workers am I right? It’s always the ones who have no business judging other people’s choices who judge the most. I’m keeping quiet until they’re born. I don’t have much longer to go. I just hope you’re right about the MIL situation though she’s been like this since I’ve known her. At least my fiancé doesn’t try to sugar coat it and will openly admit that his mother is crazy. Makes me feel like I’m not just being the bratty soon to be daughter in law.
Aww thank you! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is as comfortable and easy as the third trimester can be! It’s good that your fiance acknowledges that she’s crazy it makes it a little easier, my husband is the same way with his mother lol I really hope the baby softens your MIL out a little bit like [name_f]Mabel[/name_f] did mine…dont get me wrong she’s still horrible (I was talking about how much I love that [name_f]Mabel[/name_f] looks like my husband now, she didn’t look like either of us when she was born and my MIL said “Well at least we know she’s his” and tried to pass it off as a joke) but she restrains herself more because she loves my baby and knows that if she’s too horrible she won’t get to see her
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I plan on keeping the names and genders of my future children a secret until birth, but that’s just personal preference. In your case, I would suggest keeping it a secret because:
1 - it was what you originally planned to do
2 - you don’t want peoples opinions. People will be inclined to give opinions as long as the name isnt the babies legal name. If they dont like it, people will let you know. If you are set on the name, you don’t need or want to hear any criticism. If you still hadn’t decided a name, asking for opinions on your list my have been useful.
3 - I don’t think they will respect you. They’re currently not taking no for an answer, and are pestering you. If you told them but asked them to keep it to very close family, i highly suspect what word would get out. If you dont want everyone to know, don’t let anyone know.
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I think not telling anyone is perfectly fine. We kept the name of our second secret because there were too many strong opinions we didn’t want to hear. Theres nothing wrong with saying you are keeping it private.
If you’re in love with the names picked, keep them to yourselves. You don’t need doubt placed on you by others. Everyone will get used to whatever names you’ve chosen.