Top 20 Worst Baby Girl Names in Alberta in 2010 - in my opinion, anyway!

Each year, the Government of [name]Alberta[/name] (that’s in [name]Canada[/name], BTW) publishes a list of names given to all baby girls and baby boys born in the province. It’s much like what the Social Security Administration does in the States, although the SSA only publishes a list of the top 1000 names, while the Government of [name]Alberta[/name] list includes every baby name registered that year. It’s always fun to browse through this list to see the rankings of my favourite names and to search for new, creative name choices. Of course, all the usual, popular suspects are there: [name]Emma[/name], [name]Olivia[/name], [name]Emily[/name], [name]Isabella[/name], [name]Sophia[/name], [name]Liam[/name], [name]Ethan[/name], [name]Logan[/name], [name]Alexander[/name], [name]Lucas[/name]… (Yawn…) There are also a lot of ethnic names, understandably. And then there are those names that beg the question: “What were the parents thinking when they named this child? Were they thinking? What has this child ever done to have to go through life with such a name?”

[name]Just[/name] for the fun of it, I thought I’d stir the pot a bit and publish an unofficial list of the Top 20 Worst Names given to [name]Baby[/name] Girls in [name]Alberta[/name] in 2010. This list of 20 worst names has been selected and validated by a very subjective review panel – namely, me! That said, I tried not to let my personal baby-naming style preferences influence this list. If I went that route, I’d argue that the world does not need yet another [name]Jennifer[/name], I’d strongly advocate that the names [name]Britney[/name] and [name]Lindsay[/name] should be set aside for a few generations to let their infamous popular culture connotations be forgotten, and I’d question the practice of spelling “heaven” backwards and insisting that your daughter’s name is “Ne-vay-ah” when it reads “Ne-vay.” But I don’t want to defend my personal preferences here. I think this list hits on some universal baby-naming no-no’s which every parent would do well to avoid. Ok, here we go!

#20. Kamalakeiimalamalamaiaikanaau, also Aanuoluwatomilehin – These may well be ethnic names. While I respect ethnic names in general, these names look like someone fell asleep with their forehead on the keyboard. I totally understand giving your child a name that has cultural or family history significance, but one should also consider the society in which the child will grow up and how the name will be received in this society. No one will be able to pronounce, much less spell, these poor children’s names. These children will also have a disadvantage on all standardized tests – it’ll take them twenty minutes alone just to fill in their name on those multiple-choice test score sheets!

#19. Y – Here we have the opposite problem. Y is a letter, not a name. It’s a fine letter, it’s just as good a letter as the other 25 letters in the alphabet, but it needs to be followed by some other letters before it can be a name. Y don’t we just add a few of those here to turn Y into a name?

#18. [name]Isabella[/name]-[name]Coral[/name]-[name]Tiana[/name], also [name]Louisa[/name]-[name]Nora[/name]-[name]Yvette[/name] – [name]Don[/name]’t get me wrong, these would all be fine names on their own, but trying to squeeze three names into one is a little much. The challenge of naming a baby is that ultimately you have to decide on one first name. These triple-name combinations reek of parental indecision or lack of agreement. If you really can’t decide, at the very least, please remove the hyphens.

#17. Asly – Well, it could be worse. At least they didn’t spell it with a double-s. Nuff said.

#16. [name]Asma[/name] – No child should have a name reminiscent of the name of a disease or other health disorder.

#15. Aymen – Does this child have a prayer of not being teased on the playground? Perhaps as long as she doesn’t have a sister named “Hallelujah.”

#14. Clowee – Although I personally believe there’s a difference between a creative name and a misspelled name, I know that “creeatif” spellings of names are very much “in” right now. This one just seems particularly awkward.

#13. Gennafer – Again, although misspelled names have never been more popular than they are now, it’s particularly troublesome to misspell a name that is so widely associated with one “correct” spelling. This child will have to correct people’s spelling of her name for the rest of her life.

#12. [name]George[/name] – For a girl. Some names are just not designed for unisex use. Yes, I know that the 19th century French novelist [name]George[/name] Sand used “[name]George[/name]” as a pen name, but this probably had something to do with the fact that women had no credibility as writers back then. I’m ok with [name]Taylor[/name], [name]Harlow[/name] or [name]Piper[/name] as girls’ names (although those wouldn’t be on my list), but “[name]George[/name]” is just not meant to be a girl’s name, period.

#11. Kieret – This name may in fact be pronounced “Kie-ray,” but many people, including myself, would likely pronounce it as “Carrot.” I do hope this little girl doesn’t have red hair…

#10. Tallflower – This name sounds a whole lot like “Wallflower” and conjures up an image of an awkward middle-school dance – you know, before the boys hit puberty, when they’re often shorter than many of the girls… Yeah, happy times…

#9. Sensabille – Sensabille is just not a sensible name to give a child.

#8. Mama – This can get confusing. I can just picture the story on the [name]Maury[/name] Povich Show: “Yeah, my baby mama showed up on my doorstep with baby Mama…” I think I should stop right here.

#7. [name]Dolly[/name]-[name]Dawn[/name], also [name]Teddy[/name]-[name]Lynn[/name] – These unfortunate names suggest the “profession” these girls are being born into. We’d do well not to give our daughters names that suggest they are play-things.

#6. Destannie, [name]Destinee[/name], [name]Destinei[/name] and Dystiny – Here we go again with misspelled names. Although all misspelled names have dubious appeal, it’s particularly bad to misspell a name that has a meaning as a word. It just shows that spelling wasn’t your forte back in elementary school.

#5. J’[name]Lynn[/name], Mi’Yah, [name]Tai[/name]’Tum and [name]Zoe[/name]’[name]Belle[/name] – Are these Brats dolls? These names come across as cutesy and cartoonish. The apostrophe is very often used inappropriately in our language – and this is probably the best example of misuse there is.

#4. T-La – We have a similar theme going on here with the dash… and is it supposed to be pronounced “Tee-la” or “[name]Tay[/name]-la?” This name could perhaps work for an action figure or video game character…

#3. [name]Heaven[/name]-[name]Leigh[/name], and Heavon-Liegh – The latter is probably even worse than the former: it’s a pun on “heavenly” AND it’s misspelled! Ingenious!

#2. Gorgeous, [name]Precious[/name], [name]Princess[/name], and there was even a [name]Precious[/name]-[name]Jane[/name] (which presumably differentiates her from the Plain-[name]Jane[/name] down the street) – Seriously? These names would be pretentious for a dog, much less a child.

And the worst name given to a baby girl in [name]Alberta[/name] in 2010…

#1. [name]Gertrude[/name] – Yes, someone actually named their daughter “[name]Gertrude[/name].” I know it’s a real name, and it’s not even misspelled (brownie points there!), but there are some names that should never be given a child, and this is one of them. I suppose this little girl can get by as “[name]Trudy[/name],” but “[name]Gertrude[/name]” really is an unfortunate birthday present to receive from your parents. Sigh…

Now that I’ve gone through the countdown, I also have an “honourable mention.” I’m not sure how I feel about this name being given to human little girls, but there were three variations of it given to girls in [name]Alberta[/name] last year: Renesme, [name]Ren[/name]ésme and Renezme. Yes, some of us have been inspired by the Twilight series and are naming our daughters after [name]Bella[/name]’s vampire child. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised – one little girl was also named [name]Hermione[/name]. I read the books too and I liked them, but I just don’t know about bestowing this name upon a child… the jury’s still out on this one…

I hope you enjoyed my not-so-humble opinions! [name]Feel[/name] free to add your comments and critique…

Serious eye rolls to Renesme babies… but I do love [name]Hermione[/name].

I don’t think [name]Gertrude[/name] deserved the #1 worst spot… I would rather be named [name]Gertrude[/name] then ANY of the other names that made your list! (Save for [name]Hermione[/name] <3)

Number 8 (Mama) and Number 5 had me laughing out loud! Also thought the Precious-Jane and Plain-Jane comparison was brilliant… hahaha!

A very entertaining and well thought out list! Thank you for sharing!

All right I went to the Girls List and … wow. I could not survey all these names and I definitely started skimming but YIKES!!!
It was fun, though!

Some more of the worst names in [name]Alberta[/name], 2010! haha

Arshdeep, Ashdeep and Gagandeep (3 names which I classify as unfortunate ethnic names)

Assia (starts with Ass, I mean c’mon!)

Babilyn (???)

[name]Brannigan[/name] and Braunsyn (just awful surname names…)

Candaleigha (hideous)

Daytona (???)

Faithful and Faithfull (Why not just stick with [name]Faith[/name]? This is just asking for trouble!)

Falicety (one of the bad misspellings I chose to include… but there were SO MANY…)

[name]Fancy[/name] (LOL)

Felony (has a nice sound but… -_-)

Gorgeous (I hope she can live up to her name.)

[name]Jennae[/name] ([name]Forrest[/name] Gump…)

Jyxzy-[name]Aio[/name] (wanted to get as many of the xyz’s as possible into one name.)

Luvv (yuck)

MacQuarie (just an AWFUL surname name AND a [name]Mac[/name] name…)

MorningStarr (horrible!!!)

Omnia (As in insomnia?)

Onella (as in Salmonella?)

[name]Palin[/name] (…this poor child!)

[name]Pearly[/name] (Couldnt just go with [name]Pearl[/name] with [name]Pearly[/name] as a nn? really?)

Presses (stop the presses!!!)

Royalty (if you say so!)

Riot (asking for trouble)

[name]Rea[/name]-[name]Lee[/name] (OH REALLY!)

[name]Tai[/name]'Tum (This one made me laugh and made me sad at the same time…)

Tript ([name]Just[/name] shouldn’t be a name. Period.)

Very entertaining post! However - I agree [name]Gertrude[/name] certainly doesn’t deserve the #1 spot (To me [name]Tai[/name]'tum wins that hands down!).

My great grandmother was a [name]Gertrude[/name] ([name]Gertrude[/name] [name]Amelia[/name]), and whilst I’m not brave enough to use it, I don’t think it’s at all that offensive! I may even stick it somewhere in the middle of my future daughter’s name - you never know.

I agree with leysin-- I’d much prefer to meet [name]Gertrude[/name] to any of those other names, by a long shot. Most of these others…sigh.

Your forehead on the keyboard comment had me LOL! Those names are horrible and the first 19 make [name]Gertrude[/name] look quite stylish!

Was this written in ascending order, because [name]Gertrude[/name] seems like the best one on this list to me. Personally, I found those triple-barreled names to be the worst of all. I would just as soon name my child the Bratz-tastic “J’[name]Lynn[/name]” than the “borderline feminissima” [name]Louisa[/name]-[name]Nora[/name]-[name]Yvette[/name]. At least her name would fit on a social security card that way.

Lol! Yeah, I guess I really have it in for [name]Gertrude[/name]! Point well-taken, though - one could do worse. [name]Glad[/name] you enjoyed the list! :slight_smile:

Haha! Yes, those are definitely up there with the ones on my list. You’re right, there are so many bad ones it’s hard to list them all!

In the US, MorningStar is a brand of vegatarian products…I’m hoping that it isnt also a brand in [name]Alberta[/name]…

A baby girl at my local hospital was named Da’[name]Love[/name] Of’[name]Christ[/name]. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with the fact her parents are obviously [name]Christian[/name]. However, I feel that Da’[name]Love[/name] Of’[name]Christ[/name] is just unnecessary.

Oh, that’s TERRIBLE! For Da’[name]Love[/name] Of’[name]Christ[/name], would they PLEASE give this child a decent name! Never mind what I said about [name]Gertrude[/name], this one wasn’t on [name]Alberta[/name]'s list, but it takes the cake, hands-down! ;p

[name]Morning[/name] [name]Star[/name] is a Newspaper in Edmonton I do believe, I’m not sure about the products though, I’m far from a vegetarian. (Also from [name]Alberta[/name]!) I actually attempted to make a post about our lovely name lists, and after a half hour of typing, it was all lost :frowning: So I set it aside for another day. There are some awful awful ones on the boys side of the plate too. (T-Boy anyone?) And I found this years top ten, as usual, horribly predictable and I know a baby to match each of those names. But, luckily, my favorite names all make it very low onto the charts again :slight_smile:

I wrote a large reply and it got deleted when I pressed send, here is my short version:

  1. the first names are Hawaiian, meaning each sound means something, they would go by a nickname their whole life except during traditional ceremonies.
  2. Aymen actually sounds and looks like an Anglosizing of the Irish [name]Eamon[/name] and used for a female instead of [name]Amen[/name].
  3. The three names just reminds me of the double naming popular in southern families. [name]Just[/name] a but longer. They can always go by one name.
  4. [name]George[/name] was a popular nickname for girls about a hundred years ago (I have a great great aunt who went by [name]George[/name] and [name]Georgie[/name]) and [name]George[/name] was the nickname of [name]Nancy[/name] Drews friend, maybe they were naming after family or just decided to name her what they were going to call her instead of making it [name]Georgia[/name].
  5. I see nothing wrong with [name]Dolly[/name] or [name]Teddy[/name], thought I would have them short for [name]Dorothy[/name] and [name]Theodora[/name]. Again it is an example of southern double naming, and I don’t see how they hint at any future profession.
  6. [name]Gertrude[/name] has to be the most hated name and I don’t know why. I live it and its two spunky nicknames [name]Gertie[/name] and [name]Trudy[/name].
  7. [name]Hermione[/name] was a real name before JK used it. I think yhere was a [name]Berry[/name] that used this name, I remember reading a baby announcement.