As many know, I’m due in late Jan/early Feb with our first, a little boy. We really like one name but it could be pronounced two different ways (2 or 3 syllables) and we’re still torn on deciding whether that makes it unusable or not as each person would likely say it differently. Without me sharing which name, what do you guys think? [name_f]Do[/name_f] any of you/your children have any experience with this?
For example: imagine [name_m]Jonathan[/name_m] could be John-uh-thun or Jo-nathan (I know this isn’t typically a problem but just imagine) and both were legitimate pronunciations. Does feeling like I would need to clarify which in the birth announcement itself automatically make it a no-go?
[name_m]Or[/name_m] am I just stressing/overthinking? lol
It would help if we knew the name, where you’re from, and what social circles you travel in.
For example, where I come from the name Sara/Sarah is pronounced with a short a in the first syllable, not sai-ruh but sa-ruh. Never occurred to me the name was said any differently until I left [name_m]New[/name_m] [name_f]England[/name_f] and went to university in [name_m]Tucson[/name_m], [name_f]Arizona[/name_f], where I was accused of being phony and stuck-up for having a pronounced [name_m]New[/name_m] [name_f]England[/name_f] accent.
Thinking about it using a common name: if it’s like Will-ee-um vs Will-yum (for William), I don’t think it matters!! Most people are familiar with it and it is recognizable in both forms.
If it’s an uncommon name OR a name with two truly different pronunciations (like Lee-uh vs Lay-uh for Leah), then I would clarify on the announcement!! No need to abandon a name you love because of pronunciation
[name_f]My[/name_f] name can be pronounced 3 different ways and only one of them bothers me, because it’s rather unattractive The other alternate pronunciation doesn’t bother me at all. It sounds similar enough to how I say it, so I’m fine with it! I don’t think it’s a big deal.
I don’t think that makes it unusable - I would consider both [name_f]Lena[/name_f] and [name_f]Helena[/name_f] for real life, and those each have three pronunciations. Only two is fine, he will have to correct people sometimes but, so does everyone. People will eventually get very used to whatever pronunciation he uses.
I think only you can decide if it ultimately bothers you enough to use or not use. I highly doubt it is an unusable name (most names aren’t). Is one pronunciation much more common than the other? How would people in your particular social circles likely say it at first read? Those are the questions I would ask myself.
I think it just depends on your tolerance for correcting people. If you don’t think it would bother you to correct people then I would say it’s fine. I personally try to steer away names with multiple pronunciations bc I can be quite shy and find that correcting people (especially more than once) can feel a little bit awkward for me. I have a name people mispronounced as a kid and I did not like that. Especially for important events like graduations or winning awards, that was the worst! I got straight A’s and got called up to the stage to accept an award with an incorrect pronunciation and it upset me a lot.
I myself have experience of growing up with a name that has two accepted pronunciations in my home country (Croatia). When my parents named me [name_f]Elena[/name_f], they did so with the intention of pronouncing it eh-LEH-nuh, which is the usual pronunciation in the north of the country, where we live. However, the same name is pronounced EH-leh-nuh in the south of the country, likely because of the centuries-long Italian influence.
With Croatia being a small country and my family spending every summer in the south, I used to get the other pronunciation a lot, even in the north, if people had someone else they knew that used the alternate pronunciation. When I couldn’t yet speak, my parents were the ones correcting people. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom joked recently that I would get mad as a child and I was always correcting people the first time we met so that it would stick. Now, as a woman in her early twenties, it does not bother me as much, but I do still correct people when I first meet them if we will be seeing each other more and if they use the other pronunciation. If I am only working with them for a shorter period and don’t expect to see them often, someimes I don’t bother with correcting. However, I identifiy with my name so strongly and love it so much that I can’t imagine having any other name. I think I grew into it and the “effort” I put in with correcting people made me appreaciate its beauty more and connect with the name. For someone else, the outcome might be different and it is impossible to know. So I still say go with the name you love. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents did and I am constantly complimented on my name and it makes me happy that they stuck with it. Correcting people on pronunciation is less hassle than it seems, and when people truly care they will remember. For me, the pros of my name far outweigh the one con.
If you have any other questions about my experience, feel free to reach out in private messages as well! Good luck with deciding!
*Are both pronunciations used equally where you are or is one more common?
*Do you prefer one over the other? And if so, would you dislike him being called by the other?
*How different are they? I think naturally people might pronounce things slightly differently, based on accent (regional and internationally) so I guess, is it still recognisably the same name?
For what it’s worth, I think you could easily slip in your preferred pronunciation when talking to people and they’d follow your (or later his) lead (if they could - as in, make the sounds easily - I’m thinking if one pronunciation has a rolled R for example)
It’s the case with my son’s name, we chose a spelling that is more common in the country we live in but makes the pronunciation ambiguous in my country (people pronounce the ending 3 different ways, yahn, yohn or yen). I love the name enough that it doesn’t bother me. Although I don’t like the yohn pronunciation so I correct it.
I do not think pronunciation issues is a sole reason to abandon a name you love! If it’s a name with several common pronunciations, you most likely will have to correct people a couple of times. However, I don’t think this is a real problem. I have a name that people mispronounce all the time, and it can be annoying, but I (or my friends/family) will always just correct someone, and they usually get it the first time. You could also use a conventional nickname to help with pronunciation issues. For example, I love the name [name_f]Lucia[/name_f] (pronounced Loo-chee-a), but I know there are a few other pronunciations. If I ever named a daughter this, I would just be firm about my chosen pronunciation from the beginning, correct people when needed, and probably use the nickname [name_m]Luce[/name_m] (loo-chay) or [name_f]Lulu[/name_f]. If you’re comfortable with correcting people, I would say absolutely go ahead and use the name you love!
How much will it bother you if people say it different ways? [name_m]Or[/name_m] if most people say it the opposite way as you’d prefer? Would it be a small inconvenience or will it really irritate you and cause you stress?
I think if it’s just a small annoyance and you can either correct people when they say it differently or just let it go that they say it differently then I say go for it! But, if it’s going to really bother you I say it makes it unusable. You don’t want to be feeling stressed and annoyed every time someone says your child’s name. I’d just assume most people are going to say it incorrectly and how would that make you feel? [name_f]My[/name_f] son has a pretty straightforward name and people still say it wrong or hear it wrong sometimes. If it’s a more difficult name with multiple pronunciations I’d assume people will get it wrong more than they’d get it right.
The other alternate pronunciation doesn’t bother me at all. It sounds similar enough to how I say it, so I’m fine with it! I don’t think it’s a big deal.