TTC #1 in your 30s

Hi Berries!

I’ve been waiting what feels like an eternity but I am finally gearing up to be in the TTC Club. I’m 33 and getting married next month. My SO and I agreed we would start trying as soon as we’re married. I’ll be 34 early next year.

I know I shouldn’t, but I’ve been reading about fertility in your 30s and of course it’s freaking me out. I have the AMH of an average 36 year old and I’m just worried it’s going to take us forever. I know I won’t know until we try but the worry is there.

I’ll start a prenatal a month before the wedding and I’m generally in good shape and eat well.

I’m not alone in my fears, right? How did you handle the TTC worries? I’m absolutely thrilled that I’m finally ready but it’s been such an abstract concept for so long that I’ve tried to put fertility concerns out of mind until now.

Thank you for any guidance or just general solidarity! <3

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Congratulations on your wedding and TTC! :blush:

This is very much an individual thing. Some women have no problem getting pregnant in their late 30s/early 40s even and some take longer even in their 20s. Like you said, you don’t really know until you try.

I got pregnant with my first(s) at 32. It took only two months of “not preventing” and we ended up with twins!
With my current pregnancy I am 35. I thought it might take us longer since I’m older now but again it took two months. (Just one this time!)

Best of luck! :sparkles:

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It is true, you don’t know until you try.

I just had my first child at 35, conceived at 34 on my first try. Like you, I was concerned about it taking forever as well and thus why we tried when we did thinking it would take months. I started prenatal vitamins when we started trying, though I think some advice would say to start earlier and I think we were just lucky and have very fertile family history on our side that I did not take into consideration (my mom told me later that both my brother and I were first tries at conceiving).

The TTC thread has many people tracking cycles that would have specific advice on how that works if that is something you are interested in doing to know when exactly to try to up the odds. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO and I took the approach to just try every other day or three to start…it was also when Bridgerton came out on Netflix so I was just very ready.

[name_u]An[/name_u] important note is that yes, fertility goes down through age but the percentage that it decreases isn’t very significant. I tried to think about that fact sometimes: just because the rate goes down doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

But it really boils down to try and see? [name_f]My[/name_f] friend is younger than me and has been trying for over a year and sometimes you get lucky over 30. It’s very individual.

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I had my first at 30 it took us about 7 months of trying, my second I had at 32 and with her we were purposely not trying and I got pregnant first time around. :woman_shrugging: Like others have said it’s very individual, my only advice would be to track your cycles and try not too worry about averages too much. It sounds like you’re healthy and doing everything you can.

I had similar concerns but we concieved first try when I was 32 and my partner 37. Wanted to try earlier and wait till after we were married but we got held up by border closures and things. Wedding still postponed indefinitely! Bub due in a week or so…

ETA: I tracked my cycles for a few years prior so knew them well and also took vitamins and focused on health and fitness for a year or so before we conceived

I had my first at 29, but I’m 36 and got pregnant the first month this time (#2) around so having the fertility of a 36yo isn’t necessarily going to be a barrier.

[name_f]My[/name_f] first two (conceived at 28 and 29) were first and second tries. [name_f]My[/name_f] last two (I was 32 and 34 when I conceived) each took three months. I’m not sure if age played a role in that or not, but either way I was lucky in that none were very long. I really think it depends on the person and each pregnancy is different.

Best of luck!

Congrats!

It’s just something you won’t know until you try. And SO hard not to get caught up in wondering/worry/emotional while actually TTC. I conceived my first at 31 and second at 33. It took 4 months both times for us.

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] there! We are the same age :smiley: I am 33 and I am currently on month 8 of TTC.
I have two boys already, both were concieved really quickly (both first month) I was lucky there! I was 25 and 28.

Like @whatchamacallit said. Really depends on the individual, for some women 35+ for instance it can happen first try! [name_u]Or[/name_u] sometimes women in their 20s it can take longer than expected.

I think realistically anything up to a year is the norm, that is what statistics say in an otherwise normal, healthy couple. So I would say allow yourself a year at least, beyond a year I think you and your partner are eligible for fertility tests. Hormone checks/semen check etc. This is the case in the UK.

Secondly. I know it’s cliche but taking a relaxed approach is definitely advised. I feel like with myself it’s taking longer as I am more busy and ‘stressed’ with having two to run around after than say I would be if this was my first baby. I feel like that’s why it’s not happened for me just yet.

There is a TTC group currently at the moment. There is a 21 TTC group and a 22 TTC group. [name_m]Feel[/name_m] free to join us over there for some friendly general TTC chit-chat :smiley:

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