I’ve been waiting what feels like an eternity but I am finally gearing up to be in the TTC Club. I’m 33 and getting married next month. My SO and I agreed we would start trying as soon as we’re married. I’ll be 34 early next year.
I know I shouldn’t, but I’ve been reading about fertility in your 30s and of course it’s freaking me out. I have the AMH of an average 36 year old and I’m just worried it’s going to take us forever. I know I won’t know until we try but the worry is there.
I’ll start a prenatal a month before the wedding and I’m generally in good shape and eat well.
I’m not alone in my fears, right? How did you handle the TTC worries? I’m absolutely thrilled that I’m finally ready but it’s been such an abstract concept for so long that I’ve tried to put fertility concerns out of mind until now.
Thank you for any guidance or just general solidarity! <3
This is very much an individual thing. Some women have no problem getting pregnant in their late 30s/early 40s even and some take longer even in their 20s. Like you said, you don’t really know until you try.
I got pregnant with my first(s) at 32. It took only two months of “not preventing” and we ended up with twins!
With my current pregnancy I am 35. I thought it might take us longer since I’m older now but again it took two months. (Just one this time!)
I just had my first child at 35, conceived at 34 on my first try. Like you, I was concerned about it taking forever as well and thus why we tried when we did thinking it would take months. I started prenatal vitamins when we started trying, though I think some advice would say to start earlier and I think we were just lucky and have very fertile family history on our side that I did not take into consideration (my mom told me later that both my brother and I were first tries at conceiving).
The TTC thread has many people tracking cycles that would have specific advice on how that works if that is something you are interested in doing to know when exactly to try to up the odds. [name_f]My[/name_f] SO and I took the approach to just try every other day or three to start…it was also when Bridgerton came out on Netflix so I was just very ready.
[name_u]An[/name_u] important note is that yes, fertility goes down through age but the percentage that it decreases isn’t very significant. I tried to think about that fact sometimes: just because the rate goes down doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
But it really boils down to try and see? [name_f]My[/name_f] friend is younger than me and has been trying for over a year and sometimes you get lucky over 30. It’s very individual.
I had my first at 30 it took us about 7 months of trying, my second I had at 32 and with her we were purposely not trying and I got pregnant first time around. Like others have said it’s very individual, my only advice would be to track your cycles and try not too worry about averages too much. It sounds like you’re healthy and doing everything you can.
I had similar concerns but we concieved first try when I was 32 and my partner 37. Wanted to try earlier and wait till after we were married but we got held up by border closures and things. Wedding still postponed indefinitely! Bub due in a week or so…
ETA: I tracked my cycles for a few years prior so knew them well and also took vitamins and focused on health and fitness for a year or so before we conceived
I had my first at 29, but I’m 36 and got pregnant the first month this time (#2) around so having the fertility of a 36yo isn’t necessarily going to be a barrier.
[name_f]My[/name_f] first two (conceived at 28 and 29) were first and second tries. [name_f]My[/name_f] last two (I was 32 and 34 when I conceived) each took three months. I’m not sure if age played a role in that or not, but either way I was lucky in that none were very long. I really think it depends on the person and each pregnancy is different.
It’s just something you won’t know until you try. And SO hard not to get caught up in wondering/worry/emotional while actually TTC. I conceived my first at 31 and second at 33. It took 4 months both times for us.
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] there! We are the same age I am 33 and I am currently on month 8 of TTC.
I have two boys already, both were concieved really quickly (both first month) I was lucky there! I was 25 and 28.
Like @whatchamacallit said. Really depends on the individual, for some women 35+ for instance it can happen first try! [name_u]Or[/name_u] sometimes women in their 20s it can take longer than expected.
I think realistically anything up to a year is the norm, that is what statistics say in an otherwise normal, healthy couple. So I would say allow yourself a year at least, beyond a year I think you and your partner are eligible for fertility tests. Hormone checks/semen check etc. This is the case in the UK.
Secondly. I know it’s cliche but taking a relaxed approach is definitely advised. I feel like with myself it’s taking longer as I am more busy and ‘stressed’ with having two to run around after than say I would be if this was my first baby. I feel like that’s why it’s not happened for me just yet.
There is a TTC group currently at the moment. There is a 21 TTC group and a 22 TTC group. [name_m]Feel[/name_m] free to join us over there for some friendly general TTC chit-chat
I’ve been feeling like my fertility has improved in my 30s
I tried for 3-4 years with an ex at 23/24 (very toxic relationship conceived at 26/27 but lost it due to DV circumstances)
Now in my early 30s with my current partner (healthy relationship) at 30 I have had 1 accident when I’ve been between contraception & heated passion and one at 31 when not actively preventing it (took 2 months) due to different reasons I’ve lost them - first was terminated as too high implanted and risk to health and second I believe was stress induced due to his very high conflict ex.
We plan to TTC when I am 33/34 due to various reasons.
[name_f]My[/name_f] OH is 9years older.
I was 34 when I got married and we waited a bit to TTC. We did have some difficulty conceiving but that is different for everyone. I conceived through IUI and had my first at age 37. After having my first I got pregnant very quickly which turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy. I had to wait a few months after to try again, but conceived the first month. Now due with #2 in 2 months. I just turned 39. Fertility struggles are hard, but may not even be an issue for you. [name_f]My[/name_f] suggestion is don’t wait too long for intervention. In my country youre referred to a specialist after 6 months ttc. As soon as you start ttc do ovulation tests to increase your chances. Good luck!! This is an exciting time, so enjoy!! Lots of people have kids in their 30s and 40s so try not to worry.
Hi! Just wanted to echo everyone’s thoughts here…it’s def individual! Don’t give up hope or be worried when you don’t even know what the future holds yet.
I was 28 with my first, but 30, 32, 34, 37, and now 20 weeks pregnant at 39 with our 6th. We also had 4 miscarriages total, but 3 of those in my 30s. So def my experience is that being in my 30s did not slow down fertility! (8 pregnancies!). I also only have one ovary! So def your 30s can be fertile.
It took me 1-4 months each time…I don’t believe any longer than that ever. But I know ppl who tried for years and then suddenly had 2 in fairly short order. Keep up hope.
[name_f]My[/name_f] mum had my elder sister at 37 and me when she was 39 (4 days off being 40). I also have a close friend who was born when her mum was 44, and a cousin who had her (admittedly, miracle) baby at 43.
Equally, I have friends in their mid-20s who have really struggled or are still struggling. Their age hasn’t been a big factor in helping them (which sucks, of course, it’s horrible for them to go through).
Fertility may decline, but there’s no way of knowing how much it will be an issue for you or not until you’re trying.
Like others have said it’s very individual, my only advice would be to track your cycles and try not too worry about averages too much. It sounds like you’re healthy and doing everything you can.
I am 33 and I am currently on month 8 of TTC.
