@lirio, He’s school-age, but I don’t even know what the right thing is in terms of whether to ask him if he wants to be adopted by us. G-Gma is almost certainly the person he is most attached to in the whole world, but because of her limitations (and obviously because she loves him so much and wants to make sure he has a safety net for someday when she’s no longer with us) she seems very intent on finding him a new family. I feel kind of guilty thinking about “taking him away” from that bond. We wouldn’t be taking him away, though–I think we are both expecting that he/we would probably have visits with her often, since she lives pretty darn close to us and still wants to be involved in his life. I’m sure this would feel like a huge loss and major upheaval, however nice it might be to have two parents and lots of new sibs. I just have no idea whether it’s right to give him a “choice” if this is what his current parent thinks he needs, you know?
@northernlights, not to give away too much about his personal details, he’s young school-age. I’ve broached it a tiny bit with our big kids, but DH doesn’t want to talk about this specific child with them yet in case things don’t work out. From the little I’ve said, they do seem somewhat open (except that my daughter is very torn due to wanting a sister SO much and not necessarily another brother!). I honestly have no idea what to say, and when. Probably if/when we make the big decision to begin a homestudy we will dive into these talks, but honestly I’m still fuzzy on the order of things adoption-related.
@katinka, thank you for the well wishes! I’m hoping my husband does come around to a definite yes.