I had preeclampsia with my first and for my second my dr recommended decreasing my intake of salt and eating a healthy diet with fresh fruits and veggies as well as taking baby aspirin once I hit 14 weeks pregnant with baby #2[name_f][/name_f] and I didn’t get preeclampsia with #2[name_f][/name_f] so it must have helped! They also have a 21 month age gap I got pregnant when my son turned 1
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[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f][/name_f]Posting in this thread as I know several of you haven’t been actively trying quite yet, and I don’t want to be insensitive in the 2025 chat! For all I know, I may delete this in the morning when my head’s a bit clearer 
[name_m]Hi[/name_m], everyone. I hope I’m not overstepping by joining in here. I wasn’t sure where the best place to post this would be, but I figured that you all might be the ones who feel the most similar to me.
[name_f][/name_f]Recently, I’ve had several people in my life (a few who attend my same uni, and are in the same year as me) “announce” unplanned pregnancies. As I’m sure you can tell by my user card, I’m obviously quite young, and one would think far off having children. Still, I’ve longed for motherhood for as long as I can remember, and my feelings have grown to be quite intense and overwhelming at times, especially within the past year. Watching the people around me experience what I wish for so deeply has been surprisingly heartbreaking and upsetting. It’s such a weird mix of feelings. I’m immensely happy for them and excited for all of the new lives to be brought into the world, but I’m also grieving the fact that my dream feels so far away and so incredibly complex. It feels like there are so many steps I need to actually make my way towards it that it’ll never happen. It’s almost a frustration with them for “achieving” something so easily and unexpectedly that I feel I need to plan and wait for years to happen.
[name_f][/name_f]Logically, I know I’m not in the best place I could be when I welcome a child. But at the same time, seeing people who are in very similar places to me announcing pregnancies has been discouraging. Particularly because I know a lot of them have been blindsided by their situations. And then I feel selfish for questioning them and their abilities, and it’s a whole cycle that leaves me feeling quite terrible.
[name_f][/name_f]I know this is a unique situation, as I’m not actively TTC yet, but I wondered if anyone else here has ever felt this particular kind of disappointment or envy when faced with unexpected pregnancies happening around them.
[name_f][/name_f]I know that my experience pales in comparison to those who have been trying to conceive, and I never, ever want to come off as insensitive towards those struggles and emotions, so I hope I’m not crossing a boundary by posting this. I hope you all have a lovely day, and I’m wishing you all safe and healthy pregnancies in the new year. 
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I wanted to be married in my early 20s and start having children in my midish 20s. I didn’t get married until I was 29 and just had my first this year at 31 so the whole journey has not been what I expected. That said, even after have a child nothing is certain. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband lost his job this year and we lost all our savings and had to move in with my in-laws (MIL is not my biggest fan) so you can have everything lined up to have a child and something might go awry.
[name_f][/name_f]That is not to encourage anxiety in you. You should definitely wait until you feel ready to begin because, even though I love him, you really never go back and I had little support for the first few months of postpartum and it was rough.
[name_f][/name_f]It’s definitely okay to be discouraged that something you’ve dreamed of isn’t happening when or as soon as you thought. But remember, no person is all knowing so you cannot know if it will/won’t happen based on “the now” because no one knows the future. I was single for 10 years and was sure I would never meet someone because of several factors and ways I had been hurt over the years.
[name_f][/name_f]As a caution, learn to feel and then work through these feelings now because they will only intensify when DO start trying and that journey takes longer than you imagine too. You will have better coping skills then if you work on this envy and feeling now. (not to say it will take you a long time to conceive).
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I’m just popping in to empathize with you, I am feeling similarly but instead of not being there yet, it’s the idea that we are now done and I’ll never TTC again in the future. It’s just hard to close that curtain -!and I do feel envy sometimes with others announcements, so just know your feelings are valid!
[name_f][/name_f]You are going to be an amazing mom when the time comes, I find it helps to focus on lifting those people up in joy and support for their special moments. Maybe you can even learn some things through their experiences that prepare you for your own journey. 
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I’m experiencing this currently, too!! Everyone around me (siblings, cousins, friends) is having babies and I’m nowhere close to starting TTC. I’m trying to make the most of my nieces, nephews, and goddaughter, but it’s not the same knowing I have to hand them back at the end of the day/in the morning. I’ve also been accompanying my SIL to her prenatal appointments (my brother is working in Somalia until early December) which is a little painful. As grateful as I am that she’s let me share in this amazing journey, I want to be in her place so so desperately. All compounded by my recent breakup after 3 years, we’d been planning to start TTC next [name_m]August[/name_m] after finishing postgrad & training courses and now I don’t have that to count down to anymore.
[name_f][/name_f]As much as I wish you weren’t feeling this pain, I’m glad you’ve felt secure enough to speak about it here because I’ve been feeling pretty alone with it and not wanted to bring it up since it doesn’t really feel super ‘valid’ to me, for lack of a better word <3
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I felt this way for a long time and you explained the feeling so well. It’s such an odd mix of feelings to process; wanting something so incredibly much, but also knowing it’s not quite the right time. You’re definitely not alone in your feelings or weird for feeling them. All those “steps” might take a while or happen faster than you expect… life is funny like that. Sending you big hugs! 
I’m glad you felt like you could share with us, and get things off your chest.
Ps. You are 100% not being insensitive! What you’re feeling is valid and, regardless, you stated it so kindly. 
That is so, so hard. I’m so sorry.
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[name_f][/name_f]
I can so strongly relate to this sentiment though perhaps for a different reason. within the last couple years, I’ve come to terms with and even embraced the fact that although I’m bisexual, I really can only imagine myself in a lifetime partnership with another woman, and part of that journey has been grieving the ability to have an unexpected/surprise pregnancy. basically, accepting that having children someday will be a more complicated and costly situation than it would be if I had a partner who could get me pregnant, and realizing that any pregnancy will have to be meticulously and deliberately planned.
[name_f][/name_f]in the last year especially, more and more of my peers on social media have been announcing their pregnancies, and that’s stirred up some of these feelings again. at my age, many of them are planned, which can also inspire fears of lagging behind or losing an undefined race. however, it helps me to remember things which I have accomplished, things which are important to me but which might not be important to them. for instance, where I had things like “live abroad” and “finish my master’s degree” on my list of things I want to do, they may have had “get married” and “buy a house”. none of those goals are better than another. there’s even a chance that these people have goals like mine on their lists as well (just like I would like to get married and buy a house someday too), and we’re just moving through life in a different order.
[name_f][/name_f]I know that I haven’t yet met the person I’m going to marry. I haven’t found the place where I want to put down roots. so if I had gotten married instead of pursuing higher education, or bought a house instead of taking that trip to [name_f]India[/name_f] with my best friend, I would be regretting those decisions right now. and someone else who has fallen in love or does know where they want to live for a while, had they not taken those opportunities, I can imagine they’d be feeling the same way.
[name_f][/name_f]I feel like a lot of my twenties so far has been me realizing that I am moving through life in an order which feels most natural to me, and that this is okay[name_f][/name_f]. even if I’m not hitting “milestones” that others are or that statistically put me outside of “average”. so instead of focusing on everything I haven’t done but wish I could do, I choose to focus on what I have accomplished. just because someone else is becoming a mother sooner than me doesn’t make my desire to be a mother someday any less valid.
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Hello all, just poking my head in, if you’re in the 2025 thread you may have seen that we’ve decided to pause our efforts for the time being because my mental health has gone really sideways in the last month or so and I just can’t add the stress of ttc or pregnancy to that situation. Although part of me thinks that the success of getting pregnant would be a boost! But I’m also having days when I can’t face the idea of parenthood at all (this would be our first) so instead just taking a break from it and focusing on getting myself back to a healthy place. Anyway, 2026 is looking more likely than 2025 for us so here I am. Sending everyone the best of luck 
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is anyone else here on instagram/facebook and have their reels all of a sudden totally shifted to being all about two under two or ttc?
[name_f][/name_f]it’s listening… or foreshadowing, lol. either way it’s giving me a ton of baby fever and a slightly insane sense of confidence that my husband and i would be great with two under two 
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Hehe your phone is listening! [name_f]My[/name_f] YouTube does that too and the videos definitely paint a rose colored picture of 2 under 2. There’s so much beauty in it but I can’t underscore the fact that it’s also really hard! Either way it’s definitely doable. Maybe I’ll talk my husband into having another set of 2 under 2 in 3-4 years… lol
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i believe it is one of the most difficult things in the world, but i’m sure seeing their connection makes every second worth it
my dear friend has two boys who are 14 mo. apart and they are the best of friends! 
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wow that is so close! I’m 15 mo older than my brother, and honestly wish it was a bigger gap 
having to always be ‘mature eldest sister’ when I was only a tiny bit older was not great (but appreciate that depends on the ways parents handle it)
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Not sure if we will still be in this thread now (
), but just popping in because I bumped into an old friend from my daughter’s newborn classes recently. I’d lost touch with her when our kids were tiny. Turns out, she’d had twins a few days before her son’s first birthday. She pointed out that for a week or so, she had 3 under 1 
[name_m]Just[/name_m] the idea has been stressing me since, and my little girl is already over 2, so it’s not even comparable [name_f][/name_f] But I got reminded that multiples can happen to anyone. I know it is obviously a blessing for those families, but I don’t think I’m cut from that superhuman cloth 
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Yeah, the idea of potentially having 2 under 2 alone is stressing me out, let alone 3 under 2 or even under 1
I mean, if it happens you deal and I’ve always dreamed of multiples but maaaaan that would be rough.
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Might put me in the minority here, but I don’t actually have baby fever yet and 2 under 2 never really cross my mind. Right now I’m planning at least 2 years, maybe closer to 2.5 years gap between my son and baby #2.
I’m not against very close age, but I don’t really have a village, so I know it will be extra difficult. We live in my husband’s home state, but it’s mostly just us taking care of our kid. I know my parents (at least my mom) are likely going to be more hands-on, but they live abroad.
There were 2 years gaps between my husband and both his siblings, and he wants something similar. On the other hand, I’m 4 years younger than my brother and I grew up hearing my mom talked about how perfect that gap is cause he was more independent, actually ready to be a big brother, etc etc. So really I could see both perspectives. In the end, I agree to start trying in 2026 because of our ages. I’ll be in mid 30s and my husband probably 40 by the time we have another.
Who knows that baby fever will come in force once my son becomes a toddler or closer to TTC, I guess I’ll see, but I know I want at least one, maybe two more.
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From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much for the kind words and gentle response to my post. I appreciate it immensely.
@cms1512 I’m definitely moving towards working through my feelings on this topic specifically. It’s been quite difficult, as it’s not something that I’m the most comfortable being open about, but I’m trying my best to allow myself space to feel these emotions. Nameberry has been such a big help with that. Thank you so much for the response. Sending you love and I hope things with your MIL can start to look up soon.
@user10 Thank you so much, Ayla. I imagine it must be so difficult to finish a chapter like this, especially when the feelings can be so conflicting. Your words mean a lot to me. Thinking of you & sending all of the positive thoughts your way. Your babies are so lucky to have you 
@bramblebee It’s so nice to hear that I’m not alone in this, as bad as that sounds. I entirely relate to your bit about it not being the same because you know you have to hand them back at the end of the day. I’m a caretaker to six littles, and they are the light of my lives. I adore them like they’re my own, but it does sting a little bit to know that they aren’t. I’m so grateful to get to care for them and love them and be loved by them, but it really is just not the same. I’m keeping you in my thoughts, and sending you so much love. Please feel free to reach out if you ever want to talk about this more. It took me a while to gain the courage to make my post, so I know it’s not easy. But your feelings are valid, and I really appreciate you sharing them with me. It helps to not feel so alone!
@_thelittlefairywren Thank you so much for your kindness. I really appreciate it, and I’m sending all of the luck your way for welcoming baby #2 in the new year!
@SparkleNinja18 Oh, your post is so helpful, Aeli. Thank you for sharing it. That bit about your twenties being a realization moment for you is especially lovely. It’s so hard not to compare the milestones or little blips of accomplishment in my life to those around me. It’s especially difficult when the things I’m prioritizing feel so different compared to those around me. It’s not that either of our goals or priorities are bad, just that they’re so super different that it’s almost like I’ve been comparing the apples to the oranges so much that they’ve both become lemons I should appreciate the variety in the fruit before it all turns sour!
@emeraldsea I just want to thank you again for your message. It means the world, friend
And off topic from this post, but I do want to mention, I’ve also been getting a lot of baby content on my socials lately. It seems my entire feed is “You will be getting good news soon,” “Your baby is coming to you sooner than you expect,” or related pregnancy and motherhood content. It’s entertaining, but, much like one might infer from my emotionally charged nature surrounding this whole topic, also feels a bit like a slap in the face. The whole last month was a roller coaster for me with this, especially. Constant videos of pregnancy, motherhood, “you’re getting good news,” “your dreams are coming true,” and “your baby is on their way to you,”…only for my period to be the latest it’s ever been (I mean common ma’am, five days?? really??) and the weirdest and most inconsistent it’s ever been. I told my friend that if I knew it wasn’t possible, I’d have convinced myself that it was finally happening. It was exhausting! 
Anyhow, that’s obviously a bit different from your scenario, but I just wanted to affirm that you’re not the only one 
. Any baby will be lucky to have you as a mama, whether you’ve got two under two or not
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@luneth[name_f][/name_f] I totally understand not having baby fever. It’s like not feeling butterflies when you first meet/go on a date with someone. It doesn’t mean it won’t grow into a heat relationship, just like not having babyfever doesn’t mean you won’t adore you baby and be a great parent. I wouldn’t say I have particularly strong baby fever at the moment either. Yeah, I think babies and toddlers are cute, and like looking at the clothes, but I don’t currently feel a massive desire to have one right now[name_f][/name_f]. I know I definitely want kids, and we’ve worked past the things stopping us in previous years, so why not? Having kids earlier means I’ll be there for them longer, as will their grandparents and great grandparents, which means a lot to me.
[name_f][/name_f]As for personal updates, I am officially off hormonal contraception, and have confirmed with my doctor that my medications are fine to continue whilst TTC. The one can result in interuterine growth restriction later in pregnancy, but the half-life is short so I can follow specialist advice and weigh up the pros and cons when it’s relevant.
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[name_m]Just[/name_m] popping in the air my thoughts… I’m fairly confident we will be TTC next year for our third and final child. [name_f]My[/name_f] second daughter will be 2 in [name_f]December[/name_f]. Our first gap was 26 months and I knew I wanted a bigger gap this time round, but not too much bigger. The closeness in age is both a blessing and a curse for us. [name_f]My[/name_f] girls are finally starting to play well, although little sis is fiercely independent and often rejects big sissies advances or attempts to play. The first year was brutal on my eldest so I am hoping to not emulate that this time round by extending the gap some. But I’m also mindful of our age and stage as parents. This will be my first “advanced maternal age” pregnancy, having had my first at 32 and my second at 34. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband is now in his forties (though very healthy as someone with an outdoor job). I really don’t want to compromise my health or stretch our resources to a point where our quality of life lowers for our older two. The third demands so much change. A bigger car, a 3 bedroom hours is no longer really sufficient, we may not be able to afford the fees at the steiner school where our older daughter is so settled. But the heart yearns, and I do feel a soul waiting. I know we would make it work, and the changes required could be exactly what we need (e.g., it might force us to move even further into the country and maybe consider homeschooling). Also, I am the job market now for the first time since my girls were born, having nearly completed my PhD. Getting a job next year would mean such an upgrade in our lifestyle, but having another baby would mean delaying that. Anyway, many things to consider. But I can feel that familiar pull returning so I know from experience that that will probably mean another baby soon!
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I genuinely can’t believe I’m posting to this group, but it looks like I’ll be TTC in 2026 as a single mom by choice via donor! I’m honestly not sure if everyone in my life will think I’m a bit nuts as I’m still very much young enough to wait several more years to find the right person, but honestly, I don’t want to do that. I’m in a position where I’m ready for a baby financially, emotionally, physically, etc. I have tons of family and friend support and I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while. [name_m]The[/name_m] only thing that makes me a bit doubtful is that I’m in the last two years (hopefully haha) of a PhD program, but there’s never a perfect time, right? I know I’m in quite a different position than most of the other women here but I’m hoping I can still contribute to this group (likely will be starting IUI in June). I’ve enjoyed skimming through everyone’s posts up to here and I’m quite excited!! Wishing you all very very very good luck in 2026 
[name_f][/name_f]
Also I’ve had this account since I was like 14 and it’s so weird to be posting on it again in a completely different life stage lol.
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I’ll probably be joining this if we don’t conceive this month (our first month TTC). It feels a little strange being back on here after so long, I had my first two 11 and 9 years ago, so it’s a big gap! We thought about a third a few years ago but it wasn’t really the right timing. I think we’re going to go with the flow and just see if it happens rather than actively track ovulation or anything. It’s a little daunting to do it all over again as I was 20/22 with my first two and had way more energy, plus we’re living in a different country where the pregnancy, birth and postpartum care are a little different to what I had before, so it’ll definitely be a new adventure.
[name_f][/name_f]Wishing everyone the best in their TTC journey!
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