I had a few things I wanted to talk to someone about but my mom is the only person I know who has had a miscarriage other than myself.
We started ttc and I got pregnant early but lost the baby @ 8 wks. This was my 5th pregnancy and 3rd miscarriage. We had told our kids and it was literally days after we told our moms and my husband’s siblings. When I went to the er the baby was fine and they thought the bleeding would subside. It did so it wasn’t until I could get an appointment to confirm. That was the hardest part. My older kids wanted to talk to my stomach and sing lullabies. Family kept asking questions. My first two miscarriages we had named the babies and settled on those names fairly quickly. I had trouble this time as we had already discussed names and none of them seemed to fit anymore.
My questions are is it strange that I couldn’t seem to cope without naming the baby; has anyone else felt guilty for trying again? This time was different from my others in every way and in turn much more difficult on me.
I’m sorry for your loss, hope you’re taking good care of yourself.
I didn’t feel this way at all after my miscarriage, but I’ve only had one and it was my first pregnancy. But nothing that you are feeling now is strange or wrong - everyone handles things in different ways and your emotions are all completely valid. If you need to take some time to grieve and name the baby you lost, that’s what you should do. If you really want to try again right away, that’s what you should do - you can acknowledge the guilt without letting it control your actions, if you want. Only you can really work out what would be the best way to proceed. [name_m]Just[/name_m] be kind to yourself.
I know many people name the babies they lose to miscarriage as a way of coping. I did not, but I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to go about dealing with things like this. I have not felt guilty for trying again, but I do know that after my first miscarriage I was in a much worse place mentally than after my second one. It took a while but we were able to get closure and move on from both experiences in time. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t be hard on yourself for coping, you need to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I am sorry for your loss and wish you the best.