Two weeks until due date, and I need advice!

Boy Names
1

This is my first baby, and, months ago, my husband and I had narrowed down our possible boy names to [name]Edmund[/name] and [name]Gareth[/name]. Days before the 20-week ultrasound, DH admitted that he wasn’t a huge fan of those names. (I love them.)

So, I went back to the drawing board. I tried to include more common names on the list–names that I used to love, before I began to really explore the possibilities. I was still on the fence about some of them, but I figured we could talk it out and find some common ground. Here’s the list:

[name]Edmund[/name]
[name]Gareth[/name]
[name]Arthur[/name]
[name]Henry[/name]
[name]Samuel[/name]
[name]Thomas[/name]
[name]Benjamin[/name]
[name]Luke[/name]
[name]Daniel[/name]
[name]Peter[/name]

DH was okay with [name]Henry[/name], [name]Samuel[/name], [name]Benjamin[/name], [name]Luke[/name], and [name]Daniel[/name], but he liked [name]Thomas[/name] the best. [name]Thomas[/name] is one of the names I used to love, but it had started seeming a little plain to me, so I hadn’t really considered it. But I decided I could love it again. So, we chose [name]Thomas[/name] as our boy name; a few days later, we found out we were having a boy.

We told people. I wish we hadn’t, but we did. As far as we were concerned, the baby in my belly was named [name]Thomas[/name], and that’s that. All our family and friends know him as [name]Thomas[/name].

But then I started to second-guess the name. I kept silent about it, though, because it felt like the decision was already made. He’s already [name]Thomas[/name]. When DH and a few family members started referring to him as “[name]Tommy[/name],” I questioned it even more. I do love the name [name]Thomas[/name]. But [name]Tommy[/name]? I wouldn’t have chosen [name]Tommy[/name] as a name for my son.

Last week, I gave in and spoke to DH about it. He feels like it’s too late to change the name (and, more importantly, he doesn’t WANT to change it), but he agreed to stop calling him [name]Tommy[/name].

I know I could push the issue. If I reeeaaally wanted to, I could change the name. But even a part of me feels like it’s too late. And what would I even change it to? My favourites on the list are [name]Edmund[/name], [name]Gareth[/name], and [name]Arthur[/name], but DH just doesn’t love those names, and it doesn’t seem fair of me to try to pull a trump card.

I need help! Or maybe I just need reassurance that [name]Thomas[/name] is fine.

His last name will be [name]Russell[/name]. Is [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Russell[/name] a good, solid, traditional name? Or just completely boring?

tlrd; WDYT of the name [name]Thomas[/name]? And is it ever too late to change your mind about a baby’s name?

2

I think [name]Thomas[/name] is a good name. [name]Even[/name] [name]Edmund[/name] or [name]Gareth[/name] could turn into [name]Eddie[/name] or [name]Gary[/name]…

3

I think [name]Thomas[/name] is a strong, traditional name. I don’t think it’s too late to change but I think you are just over analyzing it a bit… Maybe take a few days away from thinking about any of the names and revisit and see how you feel.

4

It’s certainly not too late to rethink your name choice. I suggest finding two more names that you and your husband both love, then picking one of the three upon meeting your baby. Maybe he will look like a [name]Thomas[/name] when you see him. Maybe he won’t. For now you could tell your relatives that you are still considering other options…or you could just not say anything to them and surprise them with, say, a baby [name]Arthur[/name] when they are expecting baby [name]Thomas[/name]. They’ll be so excited to meet that little boy that they probably won’t even think twice about the sudden name switch.

5

[name]Thomas[/name] in full is a very nice name, but you have to accept that he will probably go by [name]Tom[/name] and/or [name]Tommy[/name] at some point in his life. If you don’t like those, change it now before it is written on his birth certificate.

You could always move [name]Thomas[/name] to the middle name spot (so you aren’t changing it completely) and choose another name for the first name spot. If family still wants to call him [name]Thomas[/name], they can, but you’ll also have your beloved first name.

[name]Arthur[/name] [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Russell[/name]
[name]Edmund[/name] [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Russell[/name]
[name]Henry[/name] [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Russell[/name]
[name]Benjamin[/name] [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Russell[/name]
etc

If it bothers you, do something about it now, or else you may end up regretting/resenting the choice later. You have a right to feel the way you do and you have the right to name your child a name that you love. Talk to your husband again. :slight_smile: Good luck

6

It is not too late. Please, if you feel like this now, then talk to your SO about it. This happened to me. My SO got fixated on one name and told everyone, they started calling bump this, i kept quiet until delivery suite where I said it wasn’t what I wanted. SO didn’t realise how strongly I felt and called baby by the name when she was born… again I kept quiet… relatives come in , calling baby by ‘her name’ despite us not discussing or announcing it… again I felt shocked into silence. On day 2 at home, baby stopped breathing- my intention to bring up the name issue went out the window as it seemed irrelevant. Here we are 4 months later , after 2 months of tooing and froing, are changing her name. I would hate for anyone else to go through this , so if the name doesn’t make your heart sing, speak up .

7

I just replied to this thread but it didn’t work … grrr

To cut a long story short, speak up or you may end up in a situation like me and be changing your baby’s name.
It is not too late now. If your husband is concerned about family, so what? His concern should be for you- you are the mother and so come before them It is you who has to call this name hundreds of times a day- it needs to feel right for you.

8

It’s definitely not too late to change your mind! I love the idea of the previous poster…pick out three names you both love and wait until he gets here to decide for sure.

I love both [name]Thomas[/name] and [name]Edmund[/name], both strong, classic names in my opinion.

9

the baby’s not here yet, so of course you can change the name! it’s unfortunate when people start putting pressure on you, it shouldn’t be like that. you’re naming a new person and if you feel like you made the wrong choice with [name]Thomas[/name], you have all the liberty to go and change your minds!

i also wanted to mention i think it’s quite common to have a “womb name” and then the actual name you end up giving him. a friend of mine referred to her baby as [name]Theo/name during almost her entire pregnancy, and then two days before delivery they decided on [name]Owen[/name] instead. [name]Theodore[/name] just didn’t feel right anymore.

10

If it does not feel right change it! [name]How[/name] can it be too late, baby’s not even born yet :slight_smile: tell family you’ll name him after you see him.
If after all this time [name]Thomas[/name] does not feel right then it’s not the right name, you’re his mum and should love to say his name countless times everyday. Maybe it’s because you feel your husband chose it rather than you? In any case this was the perfect test run with all the family calling the bump that name for some time, so if it just does not sit right re-discuss the other viable options again with your husband. Can’t go wrong with any of them, all lovely strong classics.
Good luck ! :slight_smile:

11

No, definitely not too late to reconsider. With our last little one, I decided, on a whim, to name the “bump” [name]Quigley[/name]. And the entire family loved it. People on [name]BOTH[/name] SIDES told me I should put it on the birth certificate. I kid you not. I mean it was cute as a bump name, but for real? We tried soooo hard to think of a different Q name so we could keep [name]Quigley[/name] as the nn, and DH blabbed the name we were thinking – at Thanksgiving dinner. I hadn’t finished thinking it over and I felt soooo rushed into being stuck with that name. I was only maybe 5 months pregnant at the time, but I totally get where you’re coming from. Anyway, I had to work up the nerve to tell him I really didn’t want that name, because he really did want it. We had to go back to the drawing board completely to find a different name we both liked – no just going to MY favorite name.

[name]Even[/name] though I think it’s a great idea to pick two or three names you like and decide when you meet him, because of my own experience I’m pretty sure DH would have held on to that Q name to the bitter end. But in all honesty, I might have done the same with my favorite and then we would have been at an impasse at the hospital! Maybe it would be better to take [name]Thomas[/name] off the table – as well as your [name]Edmund[/name] and [name]Gareth[/name] – and then come up with one or two different choices. Your whole list is very classic so you’ll not go wrong with any.

Alternatively, you could consider using a first name/middle name combinations with your favorites – [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Edmund[/name], maybe? Encourage nn [name]Ted[/name], a combination of the first and middle?

That said, [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Russell[/name] is a fine, upstanding name. Your whole list is very nice. If you truly can’t stand [name]Tommy[/name] as a nn, I think that’s a good reason to reconsider the name, because it’s very likely he’ll be called [name]Tommy[/name] or [name]Tom[/name] at some point. But I think you could say goodbye to [name]Gareth[/name] too, because [name]Gareth[/name] [name]Russell[/name] with that TH and then R can be a bit tricky. But maybe you two would like [name]Garret[/name] instead?

Good luck, I know it can be hard hashing it out but it’s worthwhile to come to a solution both of you like.

12

I started second guessing my son’s name AFTER he was born. For me, it was just the gravity of the responsibility of 1 name sticking with a person for the rest of his life.

Now I can’t imagine my 3 year-old being anyone other than my [name]Elijah[/name] [name]Myles[/name]. :slight_smile:

13

I do not think it is to late at all. People change their child’s name even after they are born because they feel the name does not fit them. Maybe you should come up with two combos and once you meet him you can see which feels right…just a thought to maybe ease the problem. I think it is also about compromise as well. You should both love the name not be swayed one way or another.

I feel [name]Thomas[/name] is definitely traditional and strong. He may get the nickname [name]Tommy[/name] later in life. So if you have a problem with that nickname that may turn you off to the name.

I really like [name]Arthur[/name], [name]Samuel[/name] and [name]Edmund[/name] from your list.

14

[name]Thomas[/name] is a dignified, classic name, and certainly not over-used. If you want a rarity of a nickname that’s still easy with a long historical precedent, why not [name]Thos[/name]? Or [name]Thijs[/name], a Dutch [name]Thomas[/name] diminutive pronounced ‘tyce?’

You shouldn’t feel bullied into a name, of course, and neither should your husband. if you’re at loggerheads then perhaps star over from scratch, as other posters wisely suggested.

15

Oh you must feel free to change his belly name! Goodness my parents called me [name]Little[/name] [name]Heinrich[/name] all through the pregnancy and for a girl they considered [name]Pepita[/name]! Urr, go ahead choose a great name you love.

Eg
[name]Edwin[/name] [name]Alexander[/name]
[name]Maxwell[/name] [name]Gareth[/name]
[name]Edward[/name] [name]Thomas[/name]?
[name]Barnaby[/name] [name]James[/name]
[name]Harry[/name] [name]William[/name]
[name]Owen[/name] [name]Charles[/name]

rollo

16

Tough one. I think this is a hard question for anyone but you and your husband to answer through open and honest consultation and discussion. I think there is a balance that would need to be walked. I honestly feel that more important than choosing a favorite name is the process of coming to a united decision together with your spouse. Whether that means the name sticks to [name]Thomas[/name] or a different name ends up being the choice is almost secondary, it seems to me. As long as both voices are being expressed openly and listened to fully, that is when the right name will get chosen. I would rather choose a not-quite-perfect name in a true spirit of unity than pick the my-absolute-favorite name in a battle (as long as you truly don’t feel pushed or forced to make such a decision, that’s not true unity, that’s just giving in).
After saying all this, I do think [name]Thomas[/name] is an excellent name. [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Russell[/name] sounds like a stand-up lad. I wouldn’t consider it boring. In fact, even though I’m often not always fan of the timeless/classic/always-been-common names, there are a few that I really like a lot, and [name]Thomas[/name] is one of them. And it does seem to fit with the kind of name you like. A lot of your choices have a similar feel to them (timeless/classic with an aire of nobility and strength), including [name]Thomas[/name]. [name]Edmund[/name], [name]Arthur[/name] and [name]Henry[/name] would be my other favorites from your list (also like [name]Lucas[/name] a lot, but not a big fan of [name]Luke[/name]).
Good luck!

17

I think [name]Thomas[/name] is a wonderful name and [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Russell[/name] sounds wonderful. And you can pick a really wonderful middle name! [name]How[/name] about [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Edmund[/name] [name]Russell[/name]? [name]Arthur[/name] and [name]Gareth[/name] would also be great for middle names!

18

That is exactly what it is and I think it’s great! But if you don’t love it, now is definitely the right time to consider all of your options again. [name]Do[/name] you guys already have a middle name in mind? If not and you start feeling better about [name]Thomas[/name] as a fn, it seems more than fair for your husband to give you more of a say in the middle name choice. Perhaps you can pick something you adore which will end up making you fall even more in love with the full name. On the plus side, almost everything sounds great with [name]Thomas[/name] either as a first or middle. Good luck! =]