Not that this is particular important or anything. But I wondered if anyone has ever experienced this with their parents or anyone else for that.
When I was born my parents named me names they particularly liked. [name_m]Both[/name_m] my grandmothers have clunky names, [name_u]Merle[/name_u] and [name_f]Ursula[/name_f], so Mum and Dad decided to steer clear of them. They ended up using [name_f]Faith[/name_f] in the middle, my great-grandmother’s church name, which obviously was a really nice thing to do. But when they named my brother, they decided that my brother would be named after one of my Dad’s heroes, the legendary Australian race car driver [name_m]Peter[/name_m] [name_m]Brock[/name_m]; so he was named [name_m]Brock[/name_m]. He also got both my grandfathers names in the middle.
Now, okay so I was always a little irked by that, that he got three names honouring people and I got one. As I said it’s not a huge deal, but I kind of always wished I’d been named after someone like my brother.
Have you ever experienced something like that before?
[name_f]My[/name_f] eldest brother and I have middle names that honour people but my other brother, the middle child, doesn’t. He just has two names that my parents liked and it’s never really bothered him. When I was younger I really disliked my middle name and it’s only the past couple of years that I’ve warmed to it. I would have it on my girl’s list if it went with my partner’s last name but it doesn’t so it’s in the middle name slot right now.
It’s only recently that I’ve really started to appreciate and understand the need to honour family. When I was younger I always thought I’d use names that I loved and that was that but I’m the opposite now. However, I plan on having a large family but I don’t have that many people to honour so it may be that I have a child who feels the same as you one day but it doesn’t mean that the thought wouldn’t be behind the name.
In a way, if I was you I’d like it that my parents chose names for me that they really liked instead of just naming me after people.
In my family, I’m the one with the names that honour people. [name_m]Both[/name_m] of my middle names are after my two grandmothers, but my brother’s middle names are just ones that they liked.
[name_f]My[/name_f] middle name is also my great-aunt’s name, but my parents picked it because they liked the way it sounded. I like the idea of honoring special family members through names, and I will probably do it myself, but at the end of the day I think it’s more important to pick a name that you love. I think that’s just as special.
[name_f]My[/name_f] two siblings both have family names. My brother’s middle name is the same as my paternal grandfather’s, and my sister’s first and middle names can both be found on our family tree. I only share a middle name with one of my aunts, purely by coincidence. They just needed a middle name and liked [name_f]Marie[/name_f] enough. They didn’t do it as a way too exclude me and chose my name because they truly loved it, so it doesn’t really bother me.
Next Kid will have a similar situation. We honored both of the people we wanted to with our son’s name: [name_m]Ivan[/name_m], unintentionally but happily for my dad [name_m]John[/name_m], and [name_m]Eli[/name_m] for fiance’s grandfather. We really loved both names, and they honor family members, but now we’re done. That’s it, we love everyone else, but don’t want to force ourselves to use names we don’t love just to honor them. Next Kid will be given names that we just love so much we can’t imagine not using. I hope that he or she doesn’t feel left out, but we’ll handle that when we get there.
We didn’t get honor names and there wasn’t a tradition in the family for doing so. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband had little inclination for it either. Being unbalanced is one of the reasons I’d rather avoid it. Who do you choose and why? You’re essentially picking and choosing favorite relatives, although sometimes people choose those with the names they like the most but it will still be perceived as preferring one relative over another especially since older relatives don’t usually know what is in style. And everybody in the family will know it. I can’t see how there wouldn’t be hurt feelings.
[name_f]My[/name_f] brother and dad have the same first name and my brother’s middle name is after [name_u]Shaun[/name_u] [name_u]Cassidy[/name_u] (mama’s teenage hearth throb). I wasn’t named after anyone. I use to be jealous of my brother, but I’m not anymore. If my brother went by his first name then it would probably bother me more, but since he doesn’t I don’t think about it. I hope I make sense and don’t sound like a weirdo. lol
Is there more to the jealousy than just the names? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you feel like your parents give your brother more attention or more praise or more of themselves? Is the name issue symbolic of a deeper sense of feeling like an outsider or feeling unappreciated or ignored?
I’m kind of in the same situation. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom claims my first name has a family connection, but I think they just really liked it. [name_f]My[/name_f] middle name is after a great aunt who I met once when I was 3. [name_f]My[/name_f] brother, on the other hand, is named after both grandfathers. To be honest, it never bothered me. There was a family tradition on my dad’s side of passing down the names, so that made sense with my brother’s middle, and I guess they wanted to balance it out by using my mom’s father too. I was just happy I didn’t end up with my paternal grandma’s name. I can now appreciate [name_f]Odile[/name_f], but growing up around kids with really standard 80s names I think being an [name_f]Odile[/name_f] would have stuck out way too much.
I like the idea of honoring special family members through names, and I will probably do it myself, but at the end of the day I think it’s more important to pick a name that you love. I think that’s just as special.