so I’ve been having a bit of a dilemma lately on whether or not I should use “the one”, which is v!v!ana.
you see, my MIL is vivian (legally that’s her middle name but she prefers to go by it) and i have loved the name v!v!ana since i was a little girl, i’ve just always seen myself using it for my own little one. she’s a little eccentric, a bit of a pushy woman but she means well and that’s where I hesitate: I don’t exactly want it to look like I’m naming my kid after her when this is ‘the’ name for me.
I know I shouldn’t overthink this and I really am, but what do you guys think about this? I really don’t want to give up my top name because of my MIL somewhat tainting the name for me.
How does your SO feel about it? How would your MIL feel about it? Would the name upset anyone?
I do think it would look like an intentional honor name but it really only matters how you feel and how those important to you feel.
There are two sides to it - it could be a nice thing to honor your MIL even if it’s unintentional. But if it would bother you enough to taint or ruin the name, I would look for another name or use it as a middle name.
I think it really depends on how you feel about it. The two names are so similar that I think everyone will assume you’re naming her after your mother in law. If you’re okay with that assumption then go for it, but if that will make you uncomfortable I think you’ll need reconsider.
[name_f]My[/name_f] SO doesn’t mind it. There’s not a lot of names he loves, he feels this way about every name I’ve suggested but with his mother’s name he’s on the fence: he’s both OK with it if we ultimately pick it and he also wants to give his kids completely new names, so i fear V might be destined for the middle spot. Thank you for your input! <3
We’ve been in a similar position. There were some names I loved for years and others we found together that had this issue. Ultimately, we decided to keep looking for other options. I’m very sad that I won’t ever get to use names I’ve dreamed about for years but neither of us were comfortable with the fact that we’d be inwardly cringing every time we said our child’s name. There are a lot of names out there and we’ve found some that hold just as much charm as the no-go names.
I hope you guys are able to find a solution that works for you!
I think the fact you still don’t want to give it up despite your MIL suggests that it’s still the one for you and still one to keep on the table. I think you just have to be prepared that she will probably assume that baby is named after her. How does your partner feel about using their mother’s name? I feel like that needs to be taken into account
I really feel for you here! Your MIL sounds a lot like mine - a well-intentioned person and certainly not a monster but perhaps difficult sometimes?
I do feel like it would look like you were honouring your MIL if you used v!v!ana as the first name, and if I was in your shoes I would be gritting my teeth so hard every time I heard my MIL tell someone that my daughter was named after her that I would put it in the middle name spot instead.
If your MIL is Vivian and I saw that you had named your daughter Viviana, I would assume you named your daughter after her. So, if you are ok with people assuming that (even if it is not true), I say go for it. If you would have a problem with that, maybe a new name would be better.
I like the suggestions of Avianna, Vienna, and Gianna/Giovanna! Also think Veronica, Lilianna, Audrianna, Valencia or Valentina might be good alternatives!