So, there’s been a lot of discussion about unisex names and I felt the need to write about the topic. There are a lot of layers to it - should names be gendered? Is it sexist to call a girl [name_m]Caden[/name_m]? Is it sexist to be angry about a girl being named [name_m]Caden[/name_m]?
I feel that it’s not a question that can be answered without exploring the culture surrounding it.
[name_m]History[/name_m]
Definition time!
Gender identity - which gender a person identifies with, if any
Gender expression - how a person expresses their gender through the way they dress, they way they speak, or their interests.
In Western society, there are considered to be two genders, male and female. It is expected that people will neatly fall into one of those categories. Other societies historically and today have had three, four, five, six genders. With these genders comes expectations, which vary from society to society. The expectation in Western society is that men will be strong, leaders, intelligent, quicker to violence, and that women will be domesticated, caring, docile, calm. More broadly, these traits were grouped into masculinity and femininity.
Or, as many sites put it, pink and blue. I should note about the pink / blue idea that it first arose during the baby boom. Beforehand, there was no clear preference, other than that white was easiest to wash. But this was retrieved from a 1918 guide:
[i]"The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl."[/i]
What we take from that is, things associated with gender are social constructs. Nothing about a colour or collection of letters in a particular order is inherently categorised.
In the 1920s the [name_u]West[/name_u] saw one of the first wide-scale, well-recorded rejection of a gender stereotype. This was the flapper girl, who bucked expectations of being good, angelic, modest and chaste until marriage. Flapper girls tried to attain a boyish figure, slim with a flat chest and a straight waist, a direct contrast to the corset-bound Victorian hourglass. They cut their hair short like mens, were not opposed to casual sex, and wore short skirts and drank alcohol. Their dresses were intended to flash their legs as they danced. Newsboy caps, traditionally for men, were donned by flapper girls from every corner. They wore heavy makeup, which was considered scandalous at the time, as were short skirts. I can probably compare this to the panic over [name_f]Miley[/name_f] [name_m]Cyrus[/name_m] after she cut her hair short.
It is no coincidence, surely, at this time, that we saw the first tiny spring of the unisex name. Androgynous surnamey names like [name_f]Shirley[/name_f], [name_u]Marion[/name_u], [name_u]Joyce[/name_u] and [name_f]Beverley[/name_f] became more popular. [name_u]Jessie[/name_u] and [name_u]Jesse[/name_u] were in the top 100 for girls and boys respectively.
The first lesson to take from this is the rise of the unisex name.
The second lesson to take is that when individuals or subcultures step outside gender boundaries, the masses feel uncomfortable. Flapper girls caused a great deal of shock for everyone outside the subculture.
Today
Heavy stuff incoming.
Consider homophobia, transphobia and biphobia, if you will - it is expected that there are two “opposite” genders who “fit” with one another. That is the narrative aggressively enforced in Western culture. When people transcend this norm, suddenly others who do conform feel uncomfortable. This discomfort can manifest as slurs, prevention of LGBT+ rights, harassment, discrimination, social isolation, even outright physical violence against LGBT+ people.
All too often, it is trans people who bear the brunt of this violence. [name_f]Every[/name_f] three days, a trans person is murdered, worldwide. Native American trans children are the likeliest group to be assaulted in US schools. Trans people are at a higher risk of extreme violence than their cis (a.k.a. not trans) counterparts. More importantly, this violence is consistently traced back to the fact they are trans. This is especially true for trans women.
Definition time
Femmephobia - Femmephobia is the hatred of anything regarded as stereotypically feminine. It can be disgust at seeing a man wearing a dress, or thinking a girl is shallow because she wears a lot of makeup. It is distinct from misogyny in the sense that misogyny is hatred or objectification of women, whereas femmephobia can happen to anybody who is perceived as too feminine.
The lesson here: that the feminine is thought of as inferior. Regardless of gender, striving for masculinity is “raising yourself”, making you “powerful”, “independent”. Striving for femininity is “lowering yourself”, making you “shallow”, “vain”, “not serious”, “ditzy”, and so on.
And that, if you have ever asked, is why it’s socially acceptable to name a girl [name_u]Lee[/name_u], but not to name a boy [name_f]Isabel[/name_f].
For more information, you may want to look into the devaluation of women’s work, a.k.a. the phenomenon where as more women enter an area of work, the less well paid it becomes, two examples being doctor and estate agent. It results out of the societal assumption that if women do it, it must be easy and not worth as much, and the assumption that if men do it, it must be very challenging and important.
Where does this link into unisex names?
This is pretty much outright said in this sheknows article by [name_u]Kim[/name_u] Grundy.
"[i]Unisex names such as [name_u]Cameron[/name_u], [name_u]Dylan[/name_u] or [name_u]Riley[/name_u] may portray a strong image for a woman applying for job, but be careful naming your son a name that is too feminine. It may hurt your son's confidence both in and out of the workplace if he is given a unisex name that is more popular for girls, such as [name_u]Morgan[/name_u] or [name_u]Leslie[/name_u].[/i]"
This isn’t a stab at the author of the article. This is a sentiment we see expressed all the time. More masculine names for girls are “strong”. More feminine names for boys will “hurt his confidence”. To me, this hints at it being a threat to his masculinity. The message from society is clear: masculine is empowering, feminine is dis-empowering. Trousers on a woman are considered serious and businesslike. A skirt on a man is considered hilarious.
During the 1980s-1990s wave of unisex names for girls, we saw boys names trend towards the traditionally masculine - [name_m]Daniel[/name_m], [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_u]Michael[/name_u], names that would generally never be mistaken for feminine.
It may seem like that trend has gone with the rise of names like [name_u]Noah[/name_u] and [name_m]Ezra[/name_m], but it could be argued it appears to have simply shifted. Now we have names such as [name_m]Gunner[/name_m], [name_u]Blaze[/name_u], [name_m]Danger[/name_m], [name_m]Cannon[/name_m], [name_m]Colt[/name_m] and [name_m]Talon[/name_m], that hint at an extreme, violent interpretation of masculinity, in an attempt to distance their sons from anything feminine. Anybody remember [name_m]Jason[/name_m] [name_m]Russell[/name_m]? His son is [name_m]Gavin[/name_m] [name_m]Danger[/name_m]. His daughter? [name_m]Everley[/name_m] Darling.
But those who rail on boy names for girls are not exempt from sexism either.
On the other side, we may see people outraged that their son would share a name with a girl. We tend to have to answer the “is this boy name too girl” questions more than we have to answer “is this girl name too boy”. On the page for [name_u]Owen[/name_u] on a girl, the description says
"[i]We hate to include this on the girls' list, since one of us has a son named [name_u]Owen[/name_u][/i]"
This isn’t a stab at anyone, but simply evidence that people don’t want their son to share a name with a girl. Many people name their son [name_u]Max[/name_u] and don’t mind he shares a name with a dog, but the concept of naming their son [name_u]Emery[/name_u] and having him share a name with a girl is unthinkable. The most extreme example happens with [name_u]Bailey[/name_u], if you can spare the time to compare the pink and blue stats.
A light at the end of the tunnel?
It would be ridiculous to disregard that 2015 is being hailed as the year of gender-neutral names right now. And it would be ridiculous to ignore that [name_u]Noah[/name_u] and [name_m]Ezra[/name_m] are popular despite having the sounds associated with feminine names that “turned” [name_u]Emery[/name_u] and [name_u]Emerson[/name_u]. And that [name_u]Avery[/name_u], [name_u]Emery[/name_u], [name_u]Emerson[/name_u] are on the upswing for both genders. As if regardless of gender, the sound itself was simply just quite attractive. Note that [name_u]MacKenzie[/name_u] was on the top 1000 for girls, then it emerged for boys, as if visibility were enough. [name_u]Morgan[/name_u] for boys and girls peaked at the same time.
Indeed, I would like to see unisex names more freely used on both genders, and for people not to shy away from names for boys just because girls have that name too.
I hope this shed some light on the issue for anyone who was hoping to know more. I would be honoured to hear your thoughts if you managed to read all this.
[name_f]Amber[/name_f]
