Using middle name instead of first

Thoughts?

Could it get confusing if you call your child by their middle name instead of their first name?

I think it can work just fine – I have a cousin who always goes by her middle, and know a couple of other adults who do this too.

But personally, I think if you plan to do this from the start it might just be simpler all round to put the name you want to call them by in the first name slot.

6 Likes

It just seems a bit unnecessary to me.
It’s not the worst thing in the world, but it’s obviously more troublesome than just using their first name.
I had a classmate in high school who went by her middle name. At every single school event or school trip she’d be called by her first name, and it upset her because that wasn’t really her name.

1 Like

It is doable, but why don’t you just use it as a first? If someone didn’t like their name / for another reason and decided to go by their middle name it perfectly makes sense to me, but why you’d use it as a middle if you want to call your child that?

2 Likes

Agree that it doesn’t make sense. If you put the name you want to use in the first name spot it’ll be so much easier for everyone involved.

1 Like

I think it can be confusing sometimes but it probably won’t cause any big problems. I know several people who go by there middle name and it works well for them.

1 Like

Thank you all for your replies. I guess with school we could tell them the name they go by. Hmm… we may change it

I think it works. I know a lot of people who go by their middle names. It’s easier just to change their first name, but it definitely works.

1 Like

I think if there’s a name you’re always intending to call them by, you should have it be in the first name spot, it’s less confusing for everyone. It’s another thing if someone chooses to go by their middle name later in life, or if they’re, for instance, [name_m]John[/name_m] [name_m]David[/name_m] [name_m]Jr[/name_m]. who goes by [name_m]David[/name_m] because [name_m]John[/name_m] is his dad. But I feel like it’s just easier to put the name you want to use first, even if it doesn’t flow as well.

1 Like

Hi there.

I have pretty close experience with this. I’ve been a nanny for five years for Sheil@ [name_u]Anne[/name_u] nn [name_f]Anni[/name_f]. When she was younger, she had no idea that her name was Sheil@. But since she’s been in school for a few years, she gets called it occasionally from teachers who don’t know her. And it’s not a big deal. It also fits her personality, that she loves explaining things to people. :joy: Also, Sheil@ is after her great grandmother, so she thinks that’s special. But it makes it less confusing that they go by different names. And it works out totally fine.

Hope my rambling helps. :slight_smile:

1 Like

I know several people who go by their middle name. Worked out just fine for them!

1 Like

Thank you. Yes that really helps

Nope, no confusion.

My granny went by her mn most of her life. She switched to it around the time she entered school. For any and all paperwork she listed herself down as L. Jëännë, otherwise she went by Jëännë.

1 Like

I don’t think it’s too confusing. I know a lot of people who go by their middle names.

I think it works just fine. I have a friend that’s named after his dad and goes by his first name for work and stuff but literally anytime he goes by his middle

I’m a middle namer, and I love it. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents called me by my middle name since birth, and I only use my first name for filling out government or financial documents. During school, I had to correct the roll sheets on the first day of classes, but that was never a big deal. [name_m]Even[/name_m] with some confusion over the years, it makes me feel original, and also helps with anonymity as not many people know my legal first name. As a woman, I’ve also been able to promote some more gender equality, as I’ve fought to have my middle name as my primary name by pointing out that several men at my workplace also either have a first initial in place of their first names, or just their middle names listed and they are accommodated.

My brother has always gone by his middle name and, for the most part, it hasn’t been an issue. The only problem he had was he shares the same first name as my dad. When he still lived at home, we would get mail with R C**** and sometimes it was hard to tell who it belonged to without opening it.

I would find it confusing and I don’t really see the point of not using it as a first if you’re going to use it more often.

But it’s not uncommon and it is done, so you could do it

Everyone I grew up with, who went by their middle name, changed to using their first name when they went to college.

At my job, I was once verifying someone’s name. When it was sorted out that I only had her middle name (which she went by), she told me her first name and said, “I don’t know why my parents did this to me.”

It seemed extreme, maybe she was having a bad day (her child was in the hospital) and her patience was gone. Which is understandable. Maybe during her every day life she doesn’t care? This would be my guess, since she never chose to switch to using her first name, like my former classmates did.

I’m not sure. I think there’s pros and cons to doing this. I don’t think there’s one unanimous answer about whether or not someone should do it. I guess, for me, seeing this woman’s distress, who already had so much on her mind, needing to explain one more thing, didn’t seem worth it for me to ever consider going this route with my kid.

I’ve gone exclusively by my middle name my whole life and other than having to correct people when starting school/work, it really hasn’t been a huge deal! Also in some contexts I don’t bother correcting it - obviously I know and can respond to my actual first name too when need be (so I mostly go by my first name at the doctor’s office, for example). Also, no one’s ever commented on it much or been confused by it.

My mum had been set on my first name since she was a teenager but my dad didn’t like it - she still wanted to make that name my first name, and then they picked a middle name they both liked and called me that. I do think the flow of my name is much better this way around, too!