WDYT of having four kids?

Is there a mother of four kids in nameberry?
[name]Do[/name] you think it’s possible without nannies? [name]Just[/name] because I want to take care of my kids myself.

I want to hear stories about what it’s like having four kids.

Many thanks.:slight_smile:

I have 3 and am contemplating a 4th (probably TTC this summer). I never considered having a nanny or any help. I think it is completely do-able. The only way I would think someone with 4 would need help was if there were triplets or quads.

We’re having our fourth child this [name]March[/name]. We had intended to only have three and this was a surprise. Having been one of four myself, it wasn’t completely out of the realm, but nonetheless seemed crazy financially, energetically, etc. We have done the three with very little help and minimal pre-school. Getting the eldest into kindergarten changed the game radically, but we’ll have a redo of three at home next year again as a result of #4. So it is scary and sure to be a marathon for a while, but there is that idea that even numbers of children are better than odd–especially 2 or 4 vs. 3. We’re hoping for balance and, if everyone stays grounded, a large, dynamic family. Yikes.

I’m due with my 4th baby in a couple of months. I’ve been raising my three (ages 5, 3 1/2, and 20 months) without the help of a nanny. Four is certainly going to be a different and busier dynamic, but I don’t see myself suddenly hiring as nanny (as nice as it sounds sometimes!).

I’m not a mommy of four children, but four is my ideal number.:slight_smile:

I think growing up with three siblings would be so much fun, of course, there will be moments that they would hate each other.

I am the oldest of four and am due with my fourth child in [name]March[/name]. Yes, it is totally doable without a nanny.

I think spacing is key; having four under five, for example, would probably be difficult (kudos to you, [name]Tristan[/name], for managing that!) , but if you space the kids out “right”, it’s very, very manageable. My sons will be eight, five (almost six), and three when our daughter arrives, and right now I’m minimally stressed about adding our fourth child. My older two will be in school and [name]Simon[/name] (my three-year-old) is the calmest, happiest kid ever so taking care of him plus a newborn by myself during the day isn’t scaring me.

It makes the house very busy, but it really is awesome growing up with three siblings and I am so excited to have my kids experience it.

And I think a family of six is the magic number! We can fit comfortably in our (stylish! and cool!) minivan, sit at a regular table or booth, and my husband and I have enough hands together to wrangle all our children at one time. It’s great.

So yeah. You won’t need a nanny with four kids.

It all depends on your lifestyle I think. If you have aa full-time job then of course. And if you don’t work then of course not. You wouldn’t need a nanny when you were home so either way it’s one person taking care of 4 kids. It’s defintely do-able without a nanny.

I’m not a mother of four, but I just want to chime in on the “take care of the kids myself” bit. I definitely think single parenting a larger family is doable. It can be really tough (it can be really tough even in a two-parent, two-income family) but it’s doable. You obviously need to have the finances in place, and some extra support (parents, siblings, friends) would help, but people do it every day.
One of my closest friends is the youngest of four kids (4 in 4 years, too) and she has a single mom. She did have a couple nannies while she was young, though, but they lived on a farm so her mother worked outside the home and on the farm and the grandparents live in Europe (my friend grew up in [name]Canada[/name]).

A family friend of mine is the oldest of 5 kids and their family never had nannies. It’s a two-parent household, but 5 kids is a lot, and the dad travelled for work fairly often.

In the future, I’d actually like to have 3 or 4 kids, and having a nanny has never crossed my mind. My mom was a stay at home mom while I was growing up and I always appreciated that, and if I have the opportunity to do that in the future, I will. My one aforementioned friend is the only person I know who’s had a nanny and I know a number of families with 4 kids.

I grew up as one of four children also and I say it is definitely manageable without the help of a nanny. Our age differences are a little more spaced apart (I am the oldest at 21 and my youngest brother is 8.) [name]Both[/name] of my parents work full-time and have also been part-time students for the majority of my childhood and the only time we ever had baby-sitters was for a couple hours after school before my parents were home from work. My parents are currently foster parents as well and we will soon be adding a fifth child to the family, so I say it is definitely manageable!

On the assumption that you will be a stay at home Mum then there is no question that having four children is completely doable between your and husband.

I have 3 children at home right now and we are going to start TTC next month. Sure it’s going to be a little hectic but the only real dream I’ve ever had was to have a large family. Heck we may even go for number 5 eventually. I grew up with 1 brother but with 3 cousins also, so it was like being 1 of 5 kids. And I loved it, and I want to provide that for my children.

I do not have children yet. However I am the youngest of 5, and I could definitely tell you its manageable. My mom had some difficulties but all in all, I dont believe she would have had it any differently.:slight_smile:

Well, I am a [name]Nanny[/name], for 4 kids. I do it by myself all day, every day, for 9/10 hours a day. (So the same as being a SAHM until Daddy gets home) It’s not as hard as it seems, (the kids are far from perfectly behaved most days) for this reason, I know it is doable, and I plan on having 4 kids myself one day.
You will be able to handle what you are given, and no more and no less, I firmly believe that, but there is nothing wrong with asking for help either.

I have 4 daughters, ages 3,2,1, and one less than a month old! It is do-able for my family, all of my girls listen well, and don’t fight. They always get along, and sometimes my oldest, [name]Sadie[/name] can be a bit bossy, but they are only little so it doesn’t bother the others really. We are adopting a little boy, who is joining our household very soon. He and his daddy will be the only guys in the house! My son is [name]Natalie[/name], my youngest’s age, strangely they were born on the same day, so it will be like growing up as twins for them. It is not a problem for us, my husband has a good paying job, and I am basically a stay-at home mom, but I help out at my husband’s family restaurant when I can, and I get payed a small amount for that. I was also born into a wealthy household and family, so money isn’t hard to come by for me and my family. [name]Sadie[/name] & [name]Harper[/name], our 3 & 2 year olds share a room, [name]Jessie[/name] will share with [name]Natalie[/name] when [name]Natalie[/name] is a bit older, and when our son is old enough, he will have his own room. Our house has 8 bedrooms/sleeping rooms, so lots of room yet. We have no bathroom issues, we have 3 bathrooms between the 6 of us, in our 3 storey house. [name]Sadie[/name] & [name]Harper[/name] attend daycare / preschool for 2 days every week, for 2 hours a week. I still have time for myself, when the restaurant is closed, [name]Kyle[/name]'s mother will watch the girls for us, and we have a couple good family friends who don’t mind babysitting. I go every second [name]Saturday[/name] with my friends for 4 hours, no matter what, and [name]Kyle[/name] goes with his friends every other [name]Saturday[/name]. We try to eat as healthy as possible at our house, even though we have a very picky family when it comes to eating!

I was the oldest of 5, and I loved being in a big family. By the time you get to the fourth, your older kids should be able to help with some things! :slight_smile: I plan on having a large family, only because I love my siblings and couldnt imagine life without them, and I want the same for my own kiddos.

I don’t have any kids, but I am the oldest of four. My mom wasn’t a SAHM, but she is bloody amazing. :slight_smile:

She worked part time, and my grandmother (her mom) lives with us as well so would babysit after school while my mom still worked. On the days she worked before my grandmother came to live with us, we had a babysitter we went to on this Mennonite farm we thought was completely awesome, haha. It sounds like you want to do the SAHM thing, which is completely commendable, imo, and totally doable.

I absolutely loved being the oldest of four, though! We lived in the country, so didn’t have a lot of nearby friends, so we were each others’ best friends, entertainment, and heroes, pretty much. We did everything together and big families are just the best, imo. I always (not-so-secretly) wanted one more sibling, and my ideal family at this point is still to have five children of my own. I suppose we’ll see when I’m actually a mom myself. :slight_smile:

But in answer to your question, yes, it’s totally doable. To me, it would be ideal to space them out a little bit (2-3 years between each child?) so that the older ones could help the younger ones, but that’s just me thinking about how rowdy our house got most of the time. My brother has always been rather rough-and-tumble, and my sister was always bouncing off the walls and screaming at the top of her lungs, lol. It’d be nice to have a little helper now and then. :slight_smile:

I’ve known many women who’ve had four or more kids, and never had the help of nannies.

It’s extremely possible in my experience and from what I’ve heard.

It’s all about your attitude towards it too. If you WANT to have 4 kids you will find a way. DH and I hope to have a big family of AT LEAST 4. I’m hoping we can make it to 8!

I grew up the eldest of 7 (an 8th came along after I had married and moved out). My best friends growing up were from families of 8, 10, 5, and 6. All had two-parent households with a SAHM and no nanny. Some of the moms worked part time, had their own home businesses, or helped the dads with their businesses; the dads were white-collar professionals, blue-collar workers, self-employed, even pastors. It’s definitely do-able, if you’re committed to it and want it! I would say the love-and-commitment factor is a whole lot more pertinent than the income/house/wealth factors.