What are your best chapter titles?

Exactly as the title says! For example, in my current project, the chapter I’m just starting to write is called ‘Trespassers Will Be Welcomed By The People’. I love this, and it’s not even the most creative thing out there.

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In a published book, I don’t think I’ll have chapter titles, but I write my drafts using Scrivener, and break up each document by chapter/scene. So since it’s likely no one will ever see these titles, I try to come up with the most random titles for each chapter that correspond to the scene somehow (usually in a personal association or inside joke kinda way). I can post a couple of my favorites but I guarantee no one will understand as much as I do.

The one I’m writing now is called “Avocado” because one character is trying to convince another to join his side, kinda like a lawyer, which is “avocat(e)” in French which sounds like avocado.

Another random one I like is called “Opal is Not a Warthog” because Opal is worried her sister’s position is helping her get better missions (nepotism). The name is a reference to Phineas and Ferb where one of Doofenshmirtz’s inventions is supposed to turn his brother into a warthog because, apparently, it’s against the law for the mayor of Danville to be a warthog because the last time a warthog was mayor, it filled the cabinet with its family members (nepotism).

Some of them are more obvious associations but all are equally as stupid and ridiculous.

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i don’t think i’d ever use chapter titles in a published work, so most of my chapter titles just help me remember what each chapter is about at a glance. (the writing program i use lists all the chapters off to the side, so you can just click on each one.)

usually, i’ll summarize what happens in the chapter in a few words (e.g., Rosie’s Dog), or i’ll pick the first or last line of the chapter–whichever one i like best.

so we have some like: [name_m]Hi[/name_m] Vera; Next up was English; and Okay!

then we have others like: You Always Lose; [name_f]Hope[/name_f] is Cruel; Into the [name_f]Stormy[/name_f] Grey; A Sign of Rebellion

(^^ those were all first or last lines)

but if i were doing it by summary, some just end up being:

Lunchy Lunch Lunch
First Aid
[name_u]Gary[/name_u] [name_m]Orson[/name_m], etc.

Two summers ago, when I replotted the project I was working on then, I tried to give all the chapters [name_u]Percy[/name_u] Jackson-esque names. I’ve definitely improved as a writer since then, but there are still some chapter titles I find fun, such as:

[name_f]My[/name_f] Old Best [name_u]Friend[/name_u], the [name_f]Barbie[/name_f] Whisperer

The Esteemed [name_m]Guardian[/name_m] of the Ancient Portal: a Rotting AC Unit

I Am Denied [name_f]My[/name_f] [name_f]Fantasy[/name_f] [name_u]Story[/name_u] Rights

As [name_m]Long[/name_m] as Death is Off-trend, Metal Hats are Totally In

Almost There, [name_m]Just[/name_m] Gotta Pass Through Oblivion First

Cigar Beards and Random Wings: I Pass Out Again

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