I don’t really prefer it for either gender and I would quite like to see some more little boy Ashleys’ running around the supermarket!
I prefer [name]Ashley[/name] on a boy but I’d never use it because I just don’t care for it.
I love the name [name]Ashley[/name] on a boy. It’s just kind of meh on a girl, but it’s so rare to hear it on a boy that it’s refreshing. I was born when [name]Jessica[/name] and [name]Ashley[/name] were the top two names for girls so I’ve known several dozen girl Ashleys throughout my life, but only one boy named [name]Ashley[/name]. His brother was named [name]Lindsey[/name]. And they were both cool, masculine guys who i can’t picture having been bullied or caring about bullies.
I hate the idea that if a name has been used on a girl it’s suddenly too “tainted” to be used on a boy again. That’s a common belief in the area where i live (although weirdly the people complaining about lack of boy names aren’t exactly opposed to naming their girls a boy name, which is weird. They use boy names on girls and then complain that there are no boy names left)…it’s become common here for parents to just name their boys the most masculine word they can think up. I legitimately know of little boys named things like Rage, Riot, Chaos (and alternate spellings like Rayge/Rayj, Ryatt, Kaos). In my opinion, you might as well name the kid Registered Sex-Offender because you clearly don’t care about what their name says about them to other people so long as it isn’t feminine…
I wouldn’t use [name]Ashley[/name] myself because it doesn’t quite fit my style (and having two boys in one family named [name]Jess[/name] and [name]Ashley[/name] might be a bit much) but I’d love to see it used more for boys.
Hmm… tough question. First off, to express my own life’s experience of the name, I should say I’ve never known a male [name]Ashley[/name] and I’ve known at least a couple dozen females. However, knowing it’s history as a male name, I think it could definitely still work as a boy’s name, but it may not work with every personality type. Many non-name nerds (in the US at least) will not know it has roots as a male name (and everyone is familiar with it as a female name, since it was even the #1 most common girls name for awhile). If a boy is shy and overly self-conscious, there is potential he’ll feel self-conscious and uncomfortable with his name, but if he is confident and takes ownership of his name it could work well. I personally wouldn’t use it, but wouldn’t look down on someone else using it.
I think [name]Cassidy[/name] would make a cooler name to take back from the girls’ side. That is a cool name.
I also don’t come from a small town where everyone knows each other. I come from a very large city in my state. I’ve known male [name]Ashley[/name]'s, [name]Brittney[/name]'s, [name]Whitney[/name]'s (and he is very awesome with his dreads and whatnot), [name]Shannon[/name]'s etc. And none of them care at all about their names. [name]Ashley[/name], like I said, has grown up with other boys named things like Jaydence and Jamolly just as much as boys named [name]Richard[/name] and [name]William[/name] or any number of ethnic names.
As redwoodfey said, the problems any of these men have with their names come more from the adults in their lives, or in the case of the older men, the other adults around them saying “but that’s a girl name”. I’ve never once seen or heard any of them bullied by the younger people. It’s a different world now and if you think your community can handle it, go for it!
Figlio states:
“Despite the fact I find very strong evidence that names have consequences for kids, I think parents should give their kids the names that they love. [They should] just be prepared to advocate for their kids. Stand up to the people who are treating them differently and make sure their kids know that their name is wonderful and special.”
It is not the child nor the name, it is the teachers and administrators. Adults are the problem.
If a teacher is telling straight A [name]Arabella[/name] that she should go into fashion design while [name]Jane[/name] is encouraged to major in biology, then [name]Arabella[/name]'s parents need to call out that teacher. If [name]Ashley[/name] is getting detention for frivolous things while [name]Andrew[/name] is getting a pass for the same behavior, then [name]Ashley[/name]'s parents need to march down to the school and demand answers. Whether it be name, skin color, SES, or whatever else Figlio says that parents have to step up and not let anyone mistreat their child.
This. And it’s a name I much prefer on a boy, especially in this spelling. I only ever knew three girls by this name, one [name]Ashley[/name] and two [name]Ashleigh[/name], while all the boys I know are [name]Ashley[/name]. Some go by the full name and others by [name]Ash[/name], but I still see it as a very handsome name on a boy.
I asked this question a few months ago too. I was seriously considering the name for my son and I still would like to use it (either as a first or middle name). However I thought it through and decided that while people get bullied for more things then just the name alone, if my son turns out to be quiet and awkward it certainly won’t help him against bullies who already see him as a target. I just think its too risky because you don’t know what kind of person your son is going to turn out to be. And yes there is the nickname [name]Ash[/name] but eventually someone will find out what his real name is…I just think its too risky for a first name (at least in [name]North[/name] [name]America[/name], if I lived in the UK I wouldnt even think about it). I still have it on my middle name list but that’s as far as I will go with [name]Ashley[/name]…
Its a shame too as it is such a fantastic name! I can’t see any thing feminine about it. Im having the same problem with another boys name I like: [name]Nikita[/name], however that one I’m not giving up.
I think eventually it will come back as a name for boys…just not right now. Its too soon. Maybe in 30-50 years.
For now keep it on the GP list.
I think [name]Ashley[/name] is great for a boy and much better than [name]Ashton[/name], which is used by girls a lot, too.
I like [name]Ashley[/name], and love the nickname [name]Ash[/name]. Prefer it on a boy than a girl.
People used to say that about inter-racial marriage too. It’s not always right to just follow the status quo, simply because others do.
I’ve only known one male [name]Ashley[/name]. He’s about 30 and loves his name. If you were super concerned about it you could use [name]Asher[/name] [name]Lee[/name] and call him [name]Ashley[/name] as a nickname.
It is much more common for girls but I think Gone With the Wind keeps people from forgetting that it was a boy’s name.
With parents of girls continually finding more and more boy names to use on girls (even old classics like [name]James[/name] and [name]Elliot[/name] are being used on girls now), what exactly do you propose that parents of boys do? I could name a boy [name]Ashley[/name], which has a history of use on both boys and girls. Or I could name my son [name]William[/name] and the same thing could happen that happened to your brother. There is no guarantee that a name that is masculine now will be masculine in 10 years.
It’s unfair to me that girls get to keep a name once it’s been used for them while suddenly it’s taken off the table for boys. As I’ve said before, I live in an area of the US where people are really obsessed with the idea that a boy can’t ever have a name that is associated with femininity and that parents, realizing that boy names are moving over to girl name territory by the dozens, have begun just using random masculine-sounding words. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that boys here are significantly less well-behaved than girls. If you name your kid Rage I don’t think you can realistically expect to raise a sweet-tempered little angel, because you’ve already put a hyper-masculine, semi-violent word as his main identifier.
I don’t think the attitudes of society about girl names on boys will change unless people actually encounter boys with “feminine” names. I for one would love to meet a boy named [name]Ashley[/name]. I’d greatly prefer him to the boys named Riot and Trigger and Chaos.
My favorite cousin is a male [name]Ashley[/name]. I think it was a source of irritation for him growing up. He always had to say that, yes, [name]Ashley[/name] is also a boy’s name. We’re from the Midwest, and he was the only male [name]Ashley[/name] I knew. Because I am so fond of him, I much prefer [name]Ashley[/name] on a boy, too, but I don’t know if it’s the easiest name for a boy to have to carry. It will most definitely cause the child a bit of grief either occasionally or perhaps quite regularly. My cousin only goes by [name]Ash[/name] now.
I like [name]Ashton[/name] and [name]Asher[/name]. I think they possess the same feeling and quality of [name]Ashley[/name], but are decidedly male in this day and age.
To me, it is definitely a girls name. Which doesn’t mean you cannot use it, but I it is predominately used as a girls name.
What names don’t require rescuing? Foreign names aren’t safe. [name]Little[/name] [name]Kareem[/name] and [name]Pablo[/name] will face the same issues. Is the answer to tell racial/ethnic minorities to only use “appropriate” European names? I know a [name]John[/name] that hates his name because he was tormented with toilet jokes so his “appropriate” name didn’t save him. What about when, like in your brother’s case, the name becomes feminine afterwards? [name]Little[/name] girls are being named [name]Asher[/name] and [name]Ashton[/name]. Parents of Maxwells couldn’t have predicted [name]Jessica[/name] [name]Simpson[/name]'s choice. So what name is safe? Where does it end?
And society is to blame. Society decides that Muslims are bad so that means parents are to blame if their little [name]Khalid[/name] or Hosni is tormented? “Hey it’s your fault, Mom and Dad. It’s not our fault that we’re prejudice and ignorant. You already knew that we don’t think kindly of Arabs so you should have given your son an appropriate name like [name]Kevin[/name] or [name]Howard[/name].”
[name]One[/name] of my favorite cousins is an [name]Ashley[/name] too! He’s only ever gone by [name]Ashley[/name]. Also have cousins with names like [name]Aubrey[/name], [name]Shelby[/name], [name]Dominique[/name], and [name]Stacey[/name] who only go by their full names. Of course they’ve dealt with harmless ribbing and gender confusion but I’ve never heard them complain about their names.
The girls have caught on to [name]Ashton[/name] (I’ve met a few) and [name]Asher[/name] isn’t far behind. [name]Azure[/name] is a favorite and I like [name]Ashby[/name] too but girls are coming for them too. So you either live in fear or just throw up your hands, choose the name you love and hope for the best.
I have a cousin called [name]Ashley[/name] (Doesn’t like [name]Ash[/name]). He is 17 in [name]November[/name], and is training to be a policeman. Also he’s gay. - I agree with Dindlee people have never said anything about him having a girls name.
I also know Ashlei and [name]Ashleigh[/name] - both girls.
I love [name]Ashley[/name] as a man’s name. I don’t care for it on a woman and find it quite dated. It’s a “mom name” now anyway, so very probably any little boy born [name]Ashley[/name] today won’t know many if any female Ashleys. [name]Asher[/name] is a nice alternative but I don’t find it as gallant as [name]Ashley[/name] i.e. Gone with the Wind.
I love it for a boy and it’s time to start claiming it back!
Lets face it, [name]Ashley[/name] sounds tired on a girl, but on a boy it’s exciting and fresh (in the US that is).