[name]Hi[/name] all, I’m wondering if any of you have suggestions, insight, or prior experience on this issues, and what you would do in my situation. (Please don’t make a suggestion based on my name choices, but rather whether you would bump your own favorite name into a middle name spot).
For the past 10 years, I have planned on naming my first son [name]Apollo[/name]. I love the name, and it has a lot of meaning to me. My baby’s father hates it, and it appears this time around I’m going to need to compromise and choose something else.
My question is, in that situation, would you try to settle on giving the child your top choice as a middle name, or “save” it for a future child. The baby’s father and I are not in a relationship, and it’s highly unlikely we’ll have more children together in the future. A few more facts about me:
I’d like to at some point have 2-3 more children. While there is a possibility that in the future, I’d be in a committed relationship and have children with someone else (who may or may not like the name I’ve chosen), there is a significant chance I’ll have future children as a single mother, either through a donor or adoption. However, I’m also strongly considering only adopting older (and therefore already named) children. And of course, the chance I’d only have girls in the future. Basically, I feel as though there’s a 50/50 shot I’d actually get a chance to use [name]Apollo[/name] as a first name.
I would put it in the middle, as you can call him by that if you want, especially if you and the father fall out and lose contact at a later date. That way you’ve still got your first boy [name]Apollo[/name]. You’d regret it if you have only girls in the future.
Oh this is so tricky! [name]How[/name] devastated would you be if you never get to use this name? If you can deal with the fact that you might not have another son and/or your next partner also nixes this name I say SAVE IT [name]JUST[/name] INCASE (Its a great name!) for spot #1
But, if think you would be sad forever, I say USE IT NOW as a middle name just in case. Only you can answer this question, but if it were me I would save it and hope a second chance.
Good luck!
If you are going to have primary custody of the child and there’s a chance the father will flake out later, then give him [name]Apollo[/name] as a first name and let the father choose a middle name; there are a wealth of nickname options as well, and since this is YOUR child, do what you want. But let him pick the middle name unconditionally.
If I thought that the father would end up being uninvolved in this child’s life, I’d not be taking into consideration how he feels about the name, especially not on a name I’ve loved so much for so long. However, we are on good terms, and there’s no reason to believe he won’t be involved, plus he seems to feel strongly about what name we’ll choose (or not choose) for this baby. And while I think that choosing an appropriate name for a child is very important and a big decision, I also want to pick and choose my battles - like I said, we’re already on good terms, but I don’t want to start off with the father feeling as though he doesn’t get any say in parenting decisions, or that I’m going to be generally unwilling to compromise.
I say give him [name]Apollo[/name] as a first name. I was in the same situation with my daughter, he didn’t like the name [name]Daisha[/name] and I love it, I told him when he carries the baby for nine months he can name it whatever he wants. (we weren’t in a relationship either). I didn’t let him choose her name at all but you may be different. If so, he can choose the middle name. [name]Hope[/name] this helps
You asked whether we would bump our OWN favorite to the middle spot. I would. There are no guarantees that you will have more children or that those children will be boys.
I’d put it in the middle name spot. I did that with a couple of my daughters. As a result of this, I really, really love their middle names and have more of a tendency to call them by their full names.
