Since my other thread got more focused on hating first names and no one really answered the second question, I was wondering how you would react or how you would feel if your child hated their name or decided to change their name? Would you let them change it if they were under 18?
I don’t have kids yet, but it’s something I worry about from time to time, especially with seeing some people on here looking for help in changing their name. I also know people who do hate their first name, but they usually went to using middle names.
I think I would feel hurt if my child told me she or he hated his or her name. Any name I chose would be one I loved and for her or him to hate it would be devastating. I probably would try to find out why and see if that fixes it, but if not and they still hate it at 18, then there’s nothing I can do.
I would let them go by another name if they chose, but no formal name changes until 18. I HATED my middle name as a child. It was after my grandmothers. I just hated that it was so OLD. Now I love the family connection
And it’s actually coming back into style. I would be upset now if I had had changed it.
I disliked how popular my first name was as a kid, and I have two middle names (one is my mothers maiden name) which made it confusing for other people when filling out legal forms. I wanted to change it, but I’m really glad I never did.
I think all kids, especially teenagers, go through a phase where they “hate” their name and want to experiment with nicknames. Its usually while they are trying to carve out their own identity and separate themselves more from their parents. I wouldn’t let my child legally change their name before 18 and I’d really encourage them to wait until their 20’s to decided if they still hated it or not.
I would support them in changing it. If they were under 18 I would let them go by a different name for a while and if they liked and it stuck I would help them change it legally. If they were over 18 obviously it’s their choice but I would support it and call them by whatever name they chose. I think a name is a very personal and important thing and life is too short to be called something you really hate for your whole life. I have a good friend who changed her name after she graduated high school and she has never regretted it, she much prefers the name she has chosen for herself to the one her parents gave her.
I’d feel very sad, because I truly love the names I picked out so far and I put a lot, and I mean alot of thought into them. [name]Even[/name] my SO says that he hopes they never turn out to hate their name because I’ve put so much thought into it. lol
However, I understand what it’s like to have a name you don’t like, and so yes ultimately I’d support a change.
Under 18, I would not allow it because so much happens under 18 that can change your name tastes and wants to change a name. I’d totally allow them to go by a different name, but not until they were over 18 would they be allowed to change it. Unless it was a name that they’d gone by for like 5 years and it fit them to a T etc.
I think if a child is named with love and reason beyond “I just liked the name”, chances are they won’t hate it, and they won’t want o change it.
My first name is the only name my parents both agreed on, and also it’s a name my mother thought would fit an [name]Aries[/name] baby.
So I appreciate the latter, but the former makes me dislike the name even more. Or rather feel uncomfortable with it.
My second middle name is my great-aunt’s name and I love it the most. It’s not necessarily my style, but I still like it a lot and am less likely to change that part. I still don’t think I’d want it as a first name though.
Ultimately the way I see it: “Life’s too short, why not have the name you want?”
I wouldn’t be hurt if my tween-to-teenaged children told me they hated their names. Honestly, I wouldn’t give their complaints much thought. So much of that age is about forging their own identities, I think many kids go through a stage where they “hate” their names and want to reinvent themselves with a new one. If it’s a feeling that lingers into adulthood, they can change their names then with their own money.
The one time I would consider giving a legal name change to a minor would be in a bullying situation, like I described in your other thread, and I wouldn’t be hurt as much as saddened.
I may have an unpopular opinion here but I probably wouldn’t let them if they were under 18. Sure, I’d probably indulge them with their preferred nickname. For example, if I had an [name]Eleanor[/name] who went by [name]Nora[/name] randomly decide she wanted to be [name]Ellie[/name], I’d be okay with it. But I wouldn’t let them come up with an entire new name while they are still minors.
Children/Teens are fickle. I know a girl called [name]Mary[/name] who started going by [name]Tracy[/name] when she was 21. Now she’s in her 40’s, she’s back using [name]Mary[/name] again. Its crazy.
I strongly believe that a name (like it or not) is part of your identity and who you are and if someone hates their name enough to change it, change who they have been for however many years, there are issues.
I don’t think the name [name]Grace[/name] suits me. I think I’d suit [name]Hannah[/name] better, or perhaps [name]Louise[/name]. But I would never change it because its who I am and my parents lovingly chose it as the first gift they gave me.
It may be unpopular, I hope not to offend anyone, but that’s my opinion.
I agree with strawberry shortcake, I think. I’m a teenberry named [name]Olivia[/name], meaning I came before the top-five (or even top-ten) ranking. It’s incredibly popular, which bothers me, but I think it suits me.
See, I think whatever name a baby is given grows with them. People’s images and opinions of a name are based on the people with that name, not the other way around. I am my name; my name is not me. If my name were [name]Kiera[/name], [name]Fiona[/name], or [name]Bridget[/name] (other possibilities for me), that name would be me. I would not be, say, [name]Fiona[/name]. [name]Fiona[/name] would be me, the way [name]Olivia[/name] is me.
That being said, whatever your name is, it’s you. It’s yours. Please appreciate it, because it’s a piece of you, believe it or not.
I don’t know anyone who has hated their name. I just think kids will be kids and will grow out of it. With the possible exception of hideously uniquely spelt names. But even then I imagine it would be a case of changing it to the accepted spelling.
So essentially,I wouldn’t allow my child to change their name. After 18 it is up to them.
I agree with your opinion. My parents love my name and it was their choice. But also, I would hate being called something else. I have been [name]Erica[/name] all my life. I love my name, but even if I didn’t, it’s MY name. I can’t just make one up for myself.
I would feel hurt. A lot of thought was put into my children’s names and their names honor loved ones-it’s natural to feel hurt. I am of th opinion that your name just becomes a part of your identity. As a child I didn’t like my name though of course I never told my mother as I did not want to hurt her. I never even thought of changing it. It’s my name, a part of my identity. As an adult I learned to appreciate my name. Teenagers are emotional, hormonal messes-just a fact of biology. Not liking your name as a teen or pre-teen would be pretty normal.
“I strongly believe that a name (like it or not) is part of your identity and who you are and if someone hates their name enough to change it, change who they have been for however many years, there are issues.” Copied from a previous poster, completely agree.
I would not allow my minor child to change their name. Obviously as an adult they can do what they want but I will always call my children by the name I gave them.
That’s interesting… I don’t think I could though if it were me. If my kid hated their name so much and had a good reason, I would accept the change, I’d be upset, but I don’t want them to live with a name they hate and then they have to hear it from me…
I ask this question because I have a grandpa who hated his name so much, he named his first born son [name]Ronald[/name] instead of [name]Donald[/name]. He goes by his middle name, [name]Gene[/name], on everything he writes it’s D. [name]Gene[/name] ______ I don’t know if my other two cousins really hate their names, but [name]Amanda[/name] goes by “[name]Shelly[/name]” and she has her whole life and my other cousin [name]Jordan[/name], also goes by her middle name [name]Paige[/name], and I think it’s just to avoid teasing for having a boy’s name.
There are a lot of interesting answers and I think if my child was being teased really bad for a name, I would change it. I don’t want them to be a social outcast because of their name. Otherwise I would make them wait till their 18. I never hated my name so I don’t know if it is a teenage thing or not…
[name]Both[/name] of my children “hate” their middle names for different reasons and I feel differently about each one. My daughter’s name is [name]Caitlin[/name] [name]Louisa[/name] and it is [name]Louisa[/name] she hates; I love the name and love that she was named after my great-grandmothers, [name]Sofie[/name]-[name]Katarine[/name] and [name]Maria[/name] [name]Louisa[/name]. It makes me sad that she hates [name]Louisa[/name] but she has never mentioned legally changing her name. Since she writes songs for Japanese popstars, she has a Japanese penname, but that’s different, I guess. My son’s name is [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Caleb[/name] and he hates the name [name]Caleb[/name], I’m not sure why. I don’t really care too much, because [name]Caleb[/name] was (I think) my tenth choice and a compromise with his father…He’s decided when he gets the money, he’s changing his name from [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Caleb[/name] [name]Owen[/name]-(hyphenated name) to [name]Thomas[/name] [name]Caleb[/name] [name]Alexander[/name] [name]Owen[/name]…We’ll see if that ever happens.
I hated my name always. I never changed it, though. I’ve never really come up with a name that I think represents me.
But no, you don’t “let” kids change their names legally. For one thing, it’s expensive and it will screw up their school records. Give them a name that they can get several nns from – my daughter went from [name]Katie[/name] to [name]Kate[/name] to [name]Kitty[/name] – or let them go by their middle name. Teens always change their identities, every few months. It’s no big deal.