If a parent volunteer at your child’s school was blatantly ignoring your child and leaving your child out?
Ooh that is a tough one! I guess I need some more details. Did you witness this, was it reported to you by you’re child or by another person? Is it a matter of games & recreation where you’re child isn’t being chosen or included or is it a matter of educational & safety moments where you’re child is ignored. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you or your child have any connection to this person or their child that could have created a rift or bad feelings?
I make an effort in my life to say the things that are bothering me instead of letting them build up and cause resentment. I would probably start a dialog with this person. I would try to use facts instead of feelings and use a calm tone and keep it light & in a public place. I think a great way to start would be, “I noticed you asked each child to take part in the game except . Is there any reason that you excluded him in that." or "_ mentioned that he feels like you don’t call on him very often. Would you mind making a point of including him. Kids can be so much more sensitive to these things than we realize sometimes.” The first example is for if you witnessed this behavior & the 2nd is if your child reported the behavior. In this second case I think it’s important to validate your sons feelings, but not use them to attack this parent. If she denies that she did anything I would say something like, “Well that’s how he feels and it makes him feel sad. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if you feel you haven’t treated him differently from the other kids, it would mean a lot to me if you would let him go first next time.” or something like that.
I hope it all works out!
If they’re a volunteer at the school, i guess I would just raise your concerns with whoever manages the volunteers…
Whenever they have a project, usually around any holiday, the teacher has parent volunteers come in and help her out.
I usually go but was a little impossible this week since [name_m]Wyatt[/name_m] and [name_m]Levi[/name_m] decided not to be [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] babies like I was semi-hoping haha.
This mom is ALWAYS there. When working on previous projects, I have noticed her purposely walk past my daughter’s raised hand. It annoyed me a little, but since I was there I just went and helped her when I got the chance.
When I saw my mother today she told me about what had happened the other day when she picked my children up.
My daughter didn’t have her project like my son did and when my mother asked, the teacher said that [name_f]Emma[/name_f] had thrown it away.
After talking to [name_f]Emma[/name_f] about it, my mom had found out that it was this mother who had thrown it away and told [name_f]Emma[/name_f] it was ‘bad’
I personally wouldn’t do that to a child of any age but my daughter is only 4 and I feel like she is becoming a bully towards my child.
I think normally, since I’m not a confrontational person, I would ignore it but when my son showed me his project today…my daughter started to cry so now I feel like I really need to do something about this.
Oh, and thank you!
Oh Jeez, she’s 4!
Well, I would give this mom the benefit of the doubt that the part where she ignored your daughter was because she saw you were there to help & maybe felt like you would want to take over in that moment. If I were you I would forget that part and focus on the throwing out of the project & the causing your daughter to cry part.
I think that the best course of action is to listen more than talk. Simply say something about it like, “[name_f]Emma[/name_f] was crying yesterday because of something that happened with this latest project. Could you tell me anything about that?” Let this lady fill in the blanks. She will probably tell you her side rather than play dumb. [name_m]Just[/name_m] prompt her to tell you what happened and it doesn’t hurt to try to see if you can get the teacher there for the conversation too.
I have become so much more OK with confronting situations head on since becoming a mom cause it saves me so much time and stress. The hardest thing is starting those conversations, but it feels so good to get things out in the open and understand the other person’s perspective. Hopefully it’s a misunderstanding, but if it isn’t I think it’s a good thing to let this adult know that you see what she’s up to and you find it unacceptable.
I was going to ask where the teacher is in all of this. I would ask the teacher if she knows anything about it, not in an accusatory way, just let her know what your daughter told you and ask her if she has noticed it. That way the teacher is aware of the issue and can keep an eye on it if this other mom volunteers in the future. It may be happening with other kids too. The teacher may have suggestions for bringing it up with the other mom as well.
I can’t believe she would tell a four year old that her project was bad.
WHAT. Definitely bring it up with the teacher & ask if she has noticed anything, make your concerns known. Maybe the teacher needs to advise this mother what is appropriate behavior for volunteers. Or maybe you need to sit down & have a conversation with this mother, possibly with a mediator or an authority figure present. Play hardball & assert yourself, your concerns are totally valid. Nobody should behave that way toward a young child.