My mom and I were talking about when all of us kids were born…and the one thing she kept saying was that our father changed our names, over her objections… For example, my oldest sister was supposed to be [name]Cassandra[/name]…dad changed it to [name]Amanda[/name]… I was supposed to be [name]Marissa[/name]…dad said no…so I became [name]Alyssa[/name]. Another sister was supposed to be [name]Gabrielle[/name]…got switched to [name]Joanna[/name]… As for my brother, my mother always planned to name her son [name]Anthony[/name] [name]Nicholas[/name]…dad literally waited until my mom turned her back, and named him after himself, [name]Louis[/name]…
Many other women I’ve talked to have had this happen…their boyfriend/husband will step in and completely change things around…they seem mostly to laugh at it later, but others have gotten mad to the point of not speaking to the man for awhile…
I believe the father should have an input, after all it is his child too…but is there a point where it gets taken “too far”? Like with my father, its not that he really loved the names he “re-named” us…he literally just didn’t want my mom to get her choice…
Their wives didn’t instill a healthy fear in those men! My husband would be terrified to do that because he knows I would be furious. And then change the names back. That is awful! These things should be compromised and agreed on. It’s not up to just one person unless that is what they agreed upon.
I would totally kill my fiance’ if he did that and he knows I would! He’s too nice though so that would never happen. He isn’t too concerned with names either, he has veto power though, but for the most part I get to pick the name. He just gets to say “yes” or “no” so the child will for sure end up with a name I love and a name that if he doesn’t love, he likes enough.
My dad was the exact same. My mom wanted to name my older brother [name]Eric[/name], but nooo! my Dad wanted [name]Justin[/name] so my mom also liked it but not as much as [name]Eric[/name], but she just went with it. My older sisters name was suppose to be [name]Crystal[/name]… Again my dad didnt like it and neither did my Grandma, so my mom choose [name]April[/name]. Happened to be the month she was born in. Also my name! i was suppose to be [name]Chelsey[/name] [name]Marie[/name], but my dad said he "couldnt remember’ my name so he choose [name]Nicole[/name] [name]Alice[/name]. Which i love my name nicole, but i hate [name]Alice[/name]!
I think fathers should have an input but i dont think they should have the choice to name the child. it should be equal rights or at least an agrement on the name. Not one parent should choose the name on their own.
In your situation, it seems a little bit overboard. Maybe your mom chose names that he didn’t like, but that doesn’t give him the right to change those names entirely! Especially in your brother’s case. I think that people really need to talk it through rather than one parent taking the liberty of naming their children whatever they want.
Good point… What doesn’t make sense though, is that my father didn’t care about our names, or even much about us, until we were born. Then he would suddenly have an “opinion” and completely change our names. My mom felt bad, because she woud get used to having a little X or Y, and then he would change it, last minute, to B.
My grandfather named all his kids, but I don’t know the story behind how it happened.
He wanted to name me too, but my mother, his daughter in law, just ignored all his suggestion. Literally, in one ear and out the other. She can’t recall a single one.
That’s a pretty crazy story. Somethibg similar happend to my friend. His dead beat dad showed up at the hospital and filled out the birth certificate… [name]Melvin[/name]. He later legally changed his name to Msrcus, which is what his mother always called him anyway.
My dad did that! Well, sort of. He changed the spelling at the last minute without consulting my mom. Seemed a weird thing to do without discussing it first.
That’s way too overboard! If my husband did that, I would immediately change it back and the argument that would ensue would be earth shaking. he would be scared to ever disagree with me again. Our naming process is a compromise and we talk about it, so I hope he doesn’t do something like that…
My grandfather has told a similar story. His mother was going to name him [name]Billy[/name] [name]Ray[/name] (to match older siblings [name]Bobby[/name] [name]Joe[/name] and [name]Betty[/name] [name]Sue[/name]), but his stepfather got to the birth certificate first and named him [name]John[/name] [name]William[/name]. My great-grandmother always called him [name]Billy[/name] anyway. He didn’t become [name]John[/name] until he started dating my grandmother, because she hated the name [name]Billy[/name].
I agree with the pp, what your dad did was incredibly disrespectful.
That’s terrible! I can’t even imagine. I don’t have an SO, but if I did and he did that, there is NO way that name would stick, haha, it would be changed back straightaway.
This would not fly in my marriage. I’m wondering if there are communication problems/breakdowns in relationships where people would do this to each other? My husband and I would NEVER pull stunts like that.
What a terrible situation. If that ever happened to me, you can be sure I’d be at the courthouse bright and early the next morning changing it back.
Thanks to all for your opinions and comments… Most of you have said it was disrespectful and rude…I agree… thats how he was…the type of person…he turned out to be…well…I’ll just say some men shouldn’t be around children…
To keep this name-related…my siblings and I all mostly go by nicknames, and our birth names are used for official documents or when people are speakiing seriously to us… My mom sort of chose our nicknames, that she liked best. So in a way, she did get to chose.
