I know ‘typical’ time to announce a pregnancy is the end of the first trimester. I am currently 3 weeks & 5 days pregnant. (from date of conception, not last period) I have told my two closest friends, one is a nurse and the other is a new mom. I figured even if I miscarry, I would want their support. My husband really wants to tell his parents, but I’d like to wait a little longer. My nurse friend says to to wait until at least 20 weeks, that seems so long! I would also like to send out actual paper pregnancy announcements before I announce on social media, does this seem too snooty?
My other questions are: When did you announce and to whom?
And why did you choose that time?
[name_m]How[/name_m] did you announce it?
What about social media?
Thanks very much!
On a side note, I had an business aquaintance randomly ask when we were planning on having kids and seemed to have some secret knowledge that I was pregnant, like she was winking and trying to get me to tell her. Weird experience to say the least. I’ve read about this type experience in one of my baby books.
Whatever you’re comfortable with. 20 weeks sounds too long for close friends and family but I think I waited about that long to tell my boss. (I rarely see my boss in person and wasn’t showing much until about 6 months thanks to my uniform). We told family between 10 and 12 weeks LMP and posted 12 weeks ultrasound pictures to Facebook around 13 weeks after the NT scan went well.
We told people in person or by telephone, except my boss whom I emailed. I initially wanted to wait a little longer but DH was more eager to announce earlier.
For both pregnancies we told close family (parents etc) around the 7/8 week mark, started telling close friends & extended family after our NT scan went well. I like telling close family/friends in person (if out of town, on skype or by phone). With our first we put up a scan photo on FB around 13 weeks, with this pregnancy I didn’t put anything up on FB until over 21 weeks. I’m a relatively private person, and seem to be getting more so as I age - hence not getting round to putting anything on social media for so long.
Oh, as for telling work - my morning sickness was worse the first time round so ended up telling my bosses around 9 weeks along, this time I kept it on the downlow until 14 weeks. It’s a small workplace and my workmates had started to guess what was going on otherwise I would have kept it a secret for longer I think!
We found out at 5 weeks. We waited till 10 weeks, after we heard his heartbeat, to tell our closest friends and family (the ones we would tell about a miscarriage.) I wanted to wait till at least 20 weeks to tell everyone else, but my husband worked me down to 14 weeks. I wanted to wait that long so that we would have done the anatomy scan and could say, “Hey, we’re having a baby, its a boy, his name is [name_m]Solomon[/name_m].” I don’t know, I guess I wanted to not drag it out?
But I have friends who waited that long to share bc they wanted to make sure the baby was completely healthy first. We knew that we would not terminate the pregnancy no matter what, so this didn’t matter to us. But consider if you would end the pregnancy if the baby had some abnormality, would you want to share that information?
For our close family and friends, we just called or told them in person, depending on geography. We n’t do anything clever, just told people. For everyone else, my husband put an announcement on Facebook. Again, nothing clever, just sharing the news.
For a few friends who were struggling with infertility, I emailed them the news before we announced it at large so that they could have the space and privacy to react however they needed to.
I never worried about it. With both girls we told people around 6-8 weeks. With this on my boss was one of the first to know (figured it out when I didn’t have my traditional glass of wine after my serving shift) but we waited til 12ish weeks to tell family because my brother was out of town, and to post on social media etc.
@tarynkay Good point about friends struggling with infertility, that’s one thing I didn’t consider and haven’t read on many ‘baby’ sites. I like the idea of announcing after hearing the heartbeat or soon there after. I am not sure if I am opting to have any ultrasounds during my pregnancy (if all goes normal) at this point, still researching it and I wanted to check with midwife about her opinions on that. So, I guess I would just go by heartbeat with a fetoscope. I think I am going to tell my In-laws sooner though, they’re going to get suspicious soon I think. Thanks for all y’alls input!
We told most people around 12 weeks, announced it on FB a week later (would have waited longer for FB except someone let the cat out of the bag early!). We did tell my immediate family around 8 weeks because my mom knew already – she had a freakish psychic connection with the baby the whole pregnancy, it was weird. Also told my boss around 8 weeks but only because my 12-week scan fell on a very important day at work so I had to explain why I needed to leave early. I’m a pretty private person and wouldn’t want to share news of a miscarriage with many people which is why we waited to tell. If that idea doesn’t bother you though I say tell people as early as you’d like!
Definitely be clear with people that you want to tell people yourself! My mom has spilled the beans on us TWICE now, even after we threatened her with the consequence that she’ll be the last to know when the baby arrives. I know she was just over-excited (both times… the first time she told like everyone she knew, the second time she told me brother and SIL) but when it’s your news to share and you are excited to tell people, or want to tell the right people first, or just pace it out, it’s hurtful when someone ruins that for you even if they have good intentions, or like my mother are just kind of oblivious. Just tell people not to let the cat out of the bag until you have posted publicly on social media or something.
For the first pregnancy I was a little tempted to tell ‘early’, but was glad we didn’t because it ended in miscarriage. I did tell my mum about the miscarriage the day after it happened, and have since told a few other people. But I was so relieved that I didn’t have to talk to anyone about it that I didn’t want to and that I could pick the exact time I felt ready to do so (nobody asking about how the pregnancy was going). I can only imagine having told a whole group and having to tell them all, to say it over and over again just after it had happened. I was only ready to tell my mother in the immediate aftermath. This is a totally personal issue, but those were my feelings.
The second pregnancy (our daughter) we told our families and friends after the 12-week scan showed everything was going perfectly. We told my family over the phone because they live in a different country, and his family at a family dinner. I sent letters to my close friends in the UK and told my close friends in Iceland at another dinner. Nothing super exciting! We gave permission to the people we told to tell anyone they felt like since after the 12 week point we did not consider it a secret anymore. Oh and I told my boss just a few days after I had told everyone else, just to let him know. It gradually spread around at work from that, I didn’t go out of my way to let everyone know directly since I had only been working there for a few months and didn’t really know people that well back then.
I put a status about it on Facebook after the 20-week scan, but honestly by then everyone that we communicate with at least semi-regularly already knew.
We told our moms and siblings right away since they knew we were ttc all along. We figured they would provide the same support they gave through our ttc journey if the worst should happen and they were all anxiously waiting for the good news. We just had our viability scan at about 7 weeks and after the all clear that baby was in the right place and measuring well we were so excited to tell our dads and grandparents. As for social media, we are planning on posting an ultrasound picture after the first trimester especially since that’s the only way we keep in touch with more distant relatives and friends. 20 weeks seems a little high to me as I’ve only ever heard of waiting til past the first trimester since that’s when a problem is most likely to happen. It all really depends on how you feel about it. DH is so excited that I think tomorrow he’s going to tell everyone at work (it’s a small company) and I’m okay with that. If I were still working I probably wouldn’t tell anyone since word travels fast and I wouldn’t want to have that talk with my boss yet. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps
Things like this are a bit different with my wife and I. Because, both being women, we don’t have the ability to have it happen naturally we had to get some medical assistance.
I knew after our first date that I wanted to marry my wife and from our second date we knew we wanted kids.
Our families knew we were working towards this medically, it’s kind of hard to go through the process and not tell anyone. But when we actually got pregnant we didn’t tell anyone for 10 weeks and then it was me basically living in my sisters guest bathroom during one of my worse battles with morning sickness. That gave it away to her. We swore her to secrecy and then told the rest of the family a few weeks later at a family reunion just as I was starting to show.
As for how, we wanted something super clever so my wife, my sister and I came up with an interpretive dance for the half time show of the family bowl. (It’s a bunch of silly family games and what not. We give out points and awards and have a half time show)
My grandma was the first one to figure it out and was ecstatic. She was the first one to fall in love with my wife.
My mom was a little ticked that we waited so long but in the long run she’s just so for us that it doesn’t matter.
We had the lucky coincidence of holidays being in full swing around the time we wanted to announce, so being as cheesy as we are, we took full advantage of that Plus, our families are very scattered and there’s seldom a better chance to catch everyone together than on holidays.
I was a day short of 10 weeks along, when we announced to the people closest to us on Halloween. I did the whole skeleton-shirt-with-baby-skeleton costume. Since we spent Halloween doing a scary movie marathon with select few, reliable people, no accidental pictures ended up on social media. In hindsight, I’m glad we only had the people there we chose at the time, because two weeks later we had quite a scare and the only people who knew were a great support to us, where others might not have been.
We spent Thanksgiving with my husband’s family and shared our news by telling them that we’re most thankful for our little one on the way. Loved seeing everyone’s reactions since no one really expected that. By then I was 13-something weeks along, safely in my second trimester, and had just gotten the all-clear from my OB earlier that week.
My family was the last to find out when we visited them on [name_u]Christmas[/name_u]. They tend to come on very strong, especially with big news like this, so I didn’t really mind getting to enjoy the pregnancy privately for the first 17 weeks before telling them. Between them and our friends/co-workers who have gotten to know the news earlier (through random casual “announcements” from us or word-to-mouth) there weren’t very many people left to tell officially.
DH and I aren’t big on social media, so we figured the ones who hadn’t heard yet would figure it out soon enough. We were also invited to a relatively big social event by the time I was already clearly showing. I decided to wear a figure-hugging dress and let my bump do the talking for me. It worked out well for us this way, everyone who needs to know about baby before she gets here is in the know
Awesome stories everyone! [name_u]Love[/name_u] hearing them! We told my in-laws last night after my first appointment at the birth center. He couldn’t wait. It was pretty cute how excited he was. They we’re very happy for us, of course. They asked what we had been doing in town and my husband said, “oh, some errands and we toured a birth center.” My father-in-law immediately gasped and smiled. My mother-in-law said “a what?” My husband repeated “a BIRTH center.” She said “what do you do there, OHHHHH!” And then they asked when it was due so they could plan their vacation around it, HA!
We told our parents and siblings really early on, and then they weren’t so good at keeping secrets so the whole family knew before too long. I was mostly ok with that, but next time I think I’ll wait until a little later to tell anyone. We’ve kind of slowly just told friends when we saw them or were talking to them, and I officially “announced” on facebook to everyone else at 12 weeks. I was going to try to think of something cute, but I just ended up posting a picture from our 11 week sonogram… maybe I’ll get creative for the gender reveal? haha
We told close family pretty early: my mum at around 6 weeks (I figured I’d want to talk to her about it if I had a misarriage), DH’s mum a couple of weeks later, and dads a few weeks after that (both our parents are divorced). I also told my tutors at university because I needed it on file in case something happened during finals exams a couple of months before my due date (thankfully, it didn’t!)
We broke the news to a few best friends around the 12-week mark, and after our first scan at around 13 weeks we put a brief status on Facebook breaking the news to more distant friends and family members. To be honest, next time I think we’ll skip the Facebook announcement and tell people more personally, but at the time I was just so excited that we could finally share and wanted everyone to know instantly!
We told our family and friends at different times. We told our immediate family at around 10 weeks, and this counts only our parents and siblings and my best friend. Basically the people we trust will keep it quiet, and that we would feel comfortable telling if the pregnancy didn’t follow through. We waited a lot longer to tell our other friends and extended family, mostly because we wanted to tell them the gender at the same time.
For our first child, we didn’t really think or care about having a cool pregnancy announcement. [name_m]Just[/name_m] called our friends/family or told them in person. It would feel really weird to us just mentioning “Oh, by the way, we’re pregnant!” in an email or text message. It was pretty basic. For our second, we revealed it in a more clever way, but just to our close family. We had them over for a usual dinner, and bought a cake that said “We’re Pregnant!” on it and it surprised everyone. It was easy and small, but more fun than just telling them. It was not nearly as cool as some announcements you see on the internet though!
We’re not on much social media, just Instagram and Facebook for me and Facebook for my husband. Instagram is more of a fun social media for me and I don’t really connect with much family on it so we just made an announcement on Facebook.
I went through IVF to conceive, and my mother, my siblings, and my husband’s parents all knew we were having a transfer, so I told them all as soon as we got the positive at 4 weeks. I knew that they would be wondering the outcome. I also told one of my close friends, who had also been through IVF recently. At about 10 weeks along, I went on a ski trip with some friends. Since I’m a pretty bad skiier, I opted not to ski out of fear that I’d fall and hurt the baby. I wasn’t drinking alcohol or coffee, and when we all went out for sushi one night I wound up stuffing myself with edamame. I was also puking myself silly every single morning. My friends are too smart to have not realized what was going on, so I fessed up to that group later in the trip, and then told my other friends and non-immediate family members when we got home from the trip. It was a little on the early side, but to be honest, I think I would have appreciated having my village around me if something had gone wrong.
We told my mom and dad very early - three or four days after we ourselves found out. My husband and I figured that if anything were to happen, we’d want their support. We told my best friend and his best friend (and their respective spouses) about two weeks later, just after I had the appointment to confirm the pregnancy. And then I told my brother at 12 weeks - one week before we told everyone else, including my in-laws, our friends, and both my husband’s and my extended family. I told work later that week, and we have yet to make any kind of public social media announcement - it’s just not really our style, although we might do a little something next week, because I’ll be 21 weeks by then and we’ll finally know the sex!!
I always announce first to my mother, grandmother and partner. The first time, with [name_f]Noor[/name_f], it wasn’t planned at all and for me it was a huge surprise to be expecting, I was almost 8 weeks along when my mom dragged me to the doctor’s. So basically blood test and ultrasound did the job for me.
[name_f]Viola[/name_f], my second everyone besides the three found out after the first trimester, I told everyone at Thanksgiving dinner and my friends through the phone, email, personally… we just spread the word.
With [name_f]Ziva[/name_f], another unplanned baby, I sent out birth announcements and emails and sat my closest friends and family for dinner at my place. It was a bit awkward because their dad and I had just broken up.
With this baby we announced first to our closest family and friends, as well as SO’s ex. Everyone else will be getting the news through the grapevine or through some email announcement, but only when we have the name settled and obviously know the sex. I’ve no energy whatsoever to plan anything big or have cards made to be sent through mail. Also, with extended family, this being my fourth child, I think they’d be surprised not to receive any pregnancy news, lol.