What age did you/ do you want to have kids? And what age did you end up having them? I always wanted my first between 20-23 and would be told by others to wait until I’m in my late twenties - early thirties.
And do you think you were ready to have a baby when you did?
I was “one of those” who always wanted to be a mom when I grew up lol. Women in my family always had their first kid relatively young (18-20ish), so I figured it would happen for me around then, too. Things don’t always go according to plan, though. I’m 26 right now and will turn 27 a few months after my son is born.
I don’t know if anyone ever feels or is completely ready, honestly. I don’t know if we are in some ways (for instance, financially) but I can say that I feel more ready emotionally than I did when we first starting trying at 22.
I knew I want kids since I was 8. If I got my wishes then I’d start having them as early as 22-23, but alas, life happened differently. Now I am 27 and it seems like I still need to wait until I am in my 30s.
To be fair though, although I wanted it at 22-23 I wasn’t ready financially, I didn’t live in an environment where I want to raise my child in, and I didn’t have a stable relationship yet. So I guess the wait was necessary. I just can’t help but feeling sad about it.
Realistically, I wanted kids around 26-32, when I had a steady job, a steady boyfriend/husband, a house and a car. But I’m 22, single and living at home and now pregnant soooo… guess it didn’t go to plan, lol! I’m not ready but who ever is?
I was not at all interested in having kids - never babysat, never dreamed about becoming a mother - until I moved into room in a house owned by a young single mom and her then-four-year-old son. I was 20 and she was maybe twenty-five? Living with them taught me so much about parental love, and the realities of raising a small kid, and that brief period in my life is what awakened me to the possibility of parenthood for myself. I was actually in the early phases of planning to become a single mother by choice when I met my current partner, and I had our son when I was 27. Looking back, we were not “ready” to start having kids but we did, and our three-year-old is so lovely and funny and cool.
We (I) have some fertility issues/concerns and my partner and I had discussed adopting in our early thirties. I’m pregnant now with our first - I’ll be 30 when she’s here and hubby will be 31.
I had a checklist running of things I “needed” before having a baby - own my house, long term partner, $X savings, good job, etc etc - but found that each time something was checked off, I added something new to replace it. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t get me wrong, I’m still happy that I waited as long as I did, it feels right now, but it means I definitely agree with the sentiment of never feeling ready!!
I don’t have kids, and I’m still in college. Right now it will completely depend on what happens with my life. I’ve been dating the same guy for a few years now, and if all goes well and we’re still together, I’d say I want kids around 26-27. If we don’t stay together, I doubt I’d find another guy and get married by then. Ideally I just wants kids before I’m 30, but who knows!
Ideally I’d like to have at least 1 kid before or when I’m 30, preferably once I get a job and more settled, which I’m hoping will be sometime in my late 20s. I’m preparing to be a single parent, so I’m allowing for time to research into options a good few years in advance too.
In my final year of schooling, I was voted by my peers “Most likely to have the most children” I think my teenage plans were: married at 22, first child 24, and a child every 2 years until I was done :rolleyes:
In reality, I dated a guy from 19, married at 25, diagnosed with cancer, ivf, beat cancer, marriage failed at 27, donated embryos… met new guy, first bubba at 34 and pregnant again now. [name_m]Will[/name_m] be 37 when this one comes along, all going well.
So much for plans hey! But I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. My current partner is absolutely my soul mate, 100% to the end of time. I’m so glad he’s my daughter’s (and this one’s!) dad. And I think I make a heck of a better mama now than I would have in my 20’s. Not the case for everyone. But for me in hindsight, PHEW!
I always joked that I wanted to be 23 because that’s the age my mother was when she had me, and my grandmother was having my mum. I’ve always wanted kids and genuinely wanted and thought I would have them somewhere between 19-23. I’m 24 next month.
I started ttc-ing with my ex when I was 20. I have PCOS and it just wasn’t happening. It was such a hard time to go through, but it was bittersweet as that relationship ended. I already owned a house and had a stable job, I was engaged and so I thought the baby was next. I didn’t even consider whether I was happy or not (which I wasn’t.)
Whilst I’m glad I didn’t have a child with my ex, I am constantly mourning the loss of my dream to be a young mum. I know I am still young. But to me, that 19-23 bracket was when I definitely wanted my first child, and now I’m outside of that bracket I just feel…like I don’t know whats next. At first I told myself to live each day as it happens, but unfortunately I don’t have a very positive view of the future.
Was I ready to have a child then, if I had been with the right person? I think so. Originally, I thought perhaps not, since I struggle to look after myself most days. But the reason for my struggle is because I don’t feel as though I have a purpose - no reason to get up in the morning. If I had my own little person, my life would be devoted to them. I would do everything and anything to make sure they were safe, happy, and healthy. I think (and my mum always tells me this too,) that it really could have been the making of me.
If you’d asked me when I was 19 / 20, I’d probably have said “as soon as possible”. However, now, I’m more than happy with just me and my hubby. Our TTC plan is late next year, so I’ll be nearly 28, which is a great age as far as I’m concerned. Had my 20s for me, and now 30 will be for family.
I don’t think I could have had a baby a day sooner than when [name_f]Bea[/name_f] was born - I was 30. I was never 100% sure about being a mom until she arrived hah. I felt ready when we were TTC though. I think I had to get to a place where I felt mature, stable and ready.
I’m in my mid 20s and so is my partner. Around 22 I started to have deep maternal urges, 24 they really set in. [name_f]My[/name_f] partner took a lotttttt longer. We have been together 10 years now and have only just started TTC.
I wanted to have decent savings, decent car, house, my masters degree and travelling done… we completed all BUT the travel (thanks to rona), so baby making could happen sooner.
I’ve always loved children and spent quite a bit of time with them, first with my little nieces and nephews, then working part time in a daycare through college. However, I didn’t see myself as a mother, and didn’t think “I want my own”, until I met my SO and we started getting serious. After our first year together, I thought about what someone half him and half me would be like, and wondered if we would be good parents together.