What would make you abandon a favourite name? Would you abandon a name you love because it doesn’t flow with your surname? Because it is too similar / rhyme-y to others in your family? Other friends have used it for their dog? Terrible namesakes?
Or if you really love a name, would you use it despite anything?
A negative association. I recently took [name_f]Daisy[/name_f] off my list after reading Girl Interrupted…
I abandoned several much loved names because they didn’t work well with our surname. In the end it’s about another person living with the name I give them, not about me.
The sudden rise of a celebrity or politician I don’t like with the same or related name.
A HUGE spike in popularity on the charts and a realization that it has all the makings of a trendy 2020s-era name.
A true favorite would be a favorite anyway but if a close friend used the name first, it would lose some “points” for me.
Not very much! I’m a teenager and have a long time until I’m married and naming kids, but right now I can only think of a few reasons I would abandon a very-favorite name:
My future husband has an issue with it, because obviously he’ll have a say (here’s to hoping I don’t fall in love with a man who hates the name [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m], lol!)
It doesn’t work with the child’s would-be surname (I love [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m], but if I happen to marry a man with the last name Nathans, I would not name my child [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m] Nathans)
It becomes very strongly associated with a celebrity/politician/meme/etc. to the point where it could affect a child with the name
It becoming super popular (like top 20). Or my husband completely hating it.
An offensive connotation.
The only things I really consider are associations, whether or not my partner likes the name, and trendiness. Kind of popularity, too, but ultimately, it’s trendiness that bothers me and not necessarily the popularity, though I would prefer a less common choice.
I thought how it flows with the last name would really be important to me, but one of our top choices isn’t great with my husband’s last name (it’s not horrible, just very heavy on one letter), but I’ve come to really not be too bothered by that, as long as it’s not too egregious.
Lots of things unfortunately! Here’s the ones that come to mind right now:
Sadly I’ve married someone with the surname [name_m]Washington[/name_m], so I can’t use my lifelong favourite boys name of [name_u]George[/name_u]. 
[name_f]My[/name_f] family say just to go for it, even my husband is like, who cares?! But I just don’t want my future son to be burdened with a famous name. I’d feel like he had no individuality.
I agree with the above reply about friends/family using the name too. Both my brother-in-law and close friend are planning on calling their baby girls [name_f]Amber[/name_f], so unfortunately I can’t use that or there would be 3 little girls called [name_f]Amber[/name_f] in our immediate family/friendship group.
Also, if my husband hated a name, then I wouldn’t use it. I always loved season names, especially [name_f]Summer[/name_f], but my husband just will not let me use it. It’s his child too, ultimately. So we will probably use [name_f]Autumn[/name_f] instead. 
Same, but with my mom instead!
-negative association (from history and culture, people from my or my partner’s past)
-overly used/too popular
-Someone in our family already has that name or someone in our friend group already has a child with that name.
I still have [name_f]Lilith[/name_f] on my short list, but I probably won’t use it because of it’s popularity in the US + the popularity of similar names ([name_f]Lily[/name_f], [name_f]Lilian[/name_f], [name_f]Lila[/name_f], etc).
I’ve taken [name_f]Andromeda[/name_f] off my short list because my parents would never be able to pronounce it. They are absolutely terrible with sticking the right name pronunciation in their head. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad still calls my 4 year old niece [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] even though her name is [name_f]Sophia[/name_f]. And his friend is named [name_u]Sal[/name_u] but my dad calls him [name_m]Saul[/name_m]. So if he can’t get a name down, I’ll have to let it go. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom isn’t as bad, but almost.
I’ve taken names off my short list because they don’t flow with my last name. It starts with a K sound, so all names ending in the same sound are off.
“Terrible namesakes” is really fluid, for everyone. What bothers one person, won’t bother another person. So I don’t think I’d ever consider a name with a terrible namesake (imo) so I wouldn’t need to take it off my list.
Pet names don’t bother me at all. I really hope it doesn’t hold other people back from using a name they love.
I would abandon a name if:
My SO or I have a negative association with the name that’s too much for us to get past.
My SO hates a name enough he won’t even consider a name I’ve chosen for our child.
My SO’s LN is such that the name wouldn’t work well with it.
In our immediate family social group, if there is already someone using a name we like, we would make it a MN for our child or use a variation for the FN instead. There are 2 exceptions:
If my SO is insistent upon having a Jr. (or the like), I would certainly give in as long as our child has an individual NN to accompany it.
If my SO agrees to honour my brothers, but hates my chosen name(s) to honor my brothers (honouring both brothers with 1 name), I would use: brother1’sFN brother2’sFN as my child’s FN MN combo. I would give my son an individual NN to accompany it.*
Bad associations, overuse/popularity, troubling flow with surname(s).
Switched this to Baby Names
The fear of being judged for the slightest of things. Like maybe my names just a little too pretentious? Or maybe everyone will think I gave her a name that sounds weak…
I have systematically whittled my favorite names down and I still feel clueless.
Maybe if its culturally insensitive?
Also if my SO does not like the name, theres really not much I could do about that!
I think all of these things would make me give up a favorite name for actual use, but I would probably still love the name and keep it on my list – well, except in the case of that last one.
Meeting/knowing someone who has left a bad impression on me has ruined names completely before, so that would probably make me abandon a name completely. Or just any negative association whatsoever – celebrity, pop culture, etc. I wouldn’t ever want to do that to my child.
And I agree with @gracegillian. I have to keep some names as guilty pleasures because I personally just wouldn’t feel right using a name of a different culture/religion than my own.
Same for me (almost). I have names on my list that I probably wouldn’t actually use (usually due to popularity), but I keep them on my list, because there’s nothing wrong with them. Popularity is a big one for me, really bad associations whether they be widespread or just something that bugs me. Surname is unknown for now, but if it’s really too similar I’d probably reconsider. Same goes for sibling names. I think that’s it.