@Tussilago that’s absolutely fine hopefully my advise is a of some help! I agree it is 60/40 because you have the ordeal of actually having the baby which is hard. Your allowed to want to name your child a name you like after all no one wants to call their child something that reminds them of something/someone awful like [name_f]Wanda[/name_f] does for you. Personally I do not get why he doesn’t get it 
With my partner he had no girl names still has no girl names if we were to have another girl so it was just me being shut down. It is hard especially concerning ‘Rose’ but as you say it’s the power of veto & compromise something he needs to get his head round. Anyways good luck lovely
1 Like
You’ve been given a lot of advice so I’m not sure I have anything to add except to say that I much prefer your lists (Elio was one of our top choices for our son) and that some of his names are somewhat dated (Tiffany, Heather) or arguably likely to be teased (Obi).
You mentioned The Neverending [name_u]Story[/name_u]. Have you thought about [name_m]Bastian[/name_m]? I love The Neverending [name_u]Story[/name_u] too and adore this name. I considered it seriously as my son’s middle name actually…
Out of curiosity, when he says he won’t give it up after you’ve said a name is a hard no for valid reasons what do you say? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you think he would actually be happy to use a name you hate? [name_u]Or[/name_u] do you think he’s just being stubborn but that when it comes down to it he’ll be more willing to compromise?
I’m just curious as I can’t really understand what he’s thinking. Naming a child is a shared act (unless you’re a single parent) and I personally can’t imagine being happy with a name - even if I adored it - if my partner hated it (or had a terrible association with it).
1 Like
I think framing it as compromise sometimes doesn’t work because the other person just hears “no”. Similarly, saying the reasons you dislike a name focuses on the negatives, which can be a hard frame to shift.
Perhaps framing it as “we both created this child, and we both need to love this name as much as we love this child” is a more positive footing for this sort of discussion. You can then maybe create a spreadsheet where you both list names you like and the other can highlight the ones they also like in green (no crossing off or making names red… Keep it positive)… And this will become the foundation of a list you can discuss together.
E
2 Likes
Oh, and here are some names based on your interest in literature, mythology, legend and also your shared tendency toward creativity:
Matilda
Juno
Beatrix
Frida
Iris
Arden
Sylvie
Elowen
Amélie
Ramona
Scout
Ada
Cordelia
Elinor
Astrid
Tempest
Harper
Fern
Ophelia
Lyra
Margaux
Violet
Bronte
Clementine
Alice
Hadley
Pearl
Nimue
Edie
Isolde
Zelda
Persephone
Sunday
Paloma
Orion
Apollo
Cyrus
Atreyu
Jem
Otis
Felix
Lucian
Griffin
Silas
Hugo
Dashiell
Miro
Claude
Arthur
Idris
Keats
Lucian
Twain
Wilbur
Jude
Kerouac
Oscar
Dane
Pippin
Ambrose
Dorian
Felix
Maxim
Kit
Raphael
Soren
Marlowe
Odin
Stellan
Atlas
Jules
1 Like
I would also be worried about how controlling he might be about other things and dismissive of my feelings …
5 Likes
Your husband needs to be more empathetic of your feelings here and understand that this child is going to be wearing the name, not him. Maybe he wouldn’t mind having the name of somebody who terrorized your family, but that child likely wouldn’t appreciate having the name that is horribly tained by their maternal family. Which is also the child’s family as well.
When naming a child, it can’t just be a 1-way street. Maybe sit down together and talk this out, both of you guys can write a list of names you like and the ones you both like, and contemplate over those. If the name has an association either of you don’t like, the history behind it, or even in general, find something else. There are thousands of beautiful names out there; I’m sure there’s one you both love and can agree on.
1 Like
I love the name [name_m]Bastian[/name_m], but unfortunately it’s already taken by a pet dog in the family, lol.
When he said [name_f]Wanda[/name_f] I told him my story of how my neighbour [name_f]Wanda[/name_f] threatened my kid brother with an axe, hung up dead birds in the trees and came into our yard to look through the window to see if we were home, among many other things. She was the terror lady of the street. Like, legendary. We had a party when she moved away. There is just no way that I would ever name my child [name_f]Wanda[/name_f]. No way.
[name_f]My[/name_f] partner said that there was a nasty lady pestering his family who was named [name_f]Hazel[/name_f], but he still likes the name. He told me to just get over it and see the name as just a name.
He said the same thing about the name [name_f]Mabel[/name_f]. Our children’s last name will be [name_f]Sura[/name_f]. So, even though [name_f]Mabel[/name_f] is a nice name, I don’t want them to be teased and called [name_f]Maple[/name_f] Syrup. Same thing with the name Soairse. Beautiful name, but said together with the last name [name_f]Sura[/name_f] it’s a real tongue twister. He just said that he doesn’t care (which is often speak for him being hurt or disappointed) and he just wanted me to not be so picky and judgmental.