I had two sons die. Their names were [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] and [name_m]Matthew[/name_m]. I already named a son after [name_m]Andrew[/name_m]…as in the middle name. Problem with [name_m]Matthew[/name_m]'s name is, I never liked the name. He was born still. Since I had lost [name_m]Andrew[/name_m], he was premature and died as a baby, I felt bad later that I had already used one of my fave names and could not use it again. So, I used [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], just some biblical name I did not care for, when my son died while I was in labor anyway. It made sense to me at the time (hours of labor, baby dying, drugged up, etc).
Now, in hindsight, I wish I had named him a name that I liked. And now, I feel like if I do not put his name in the middle of this younger baby (who I do not know the gender of, but think is a boy), then no one will ever remember him. However, every time I show the name in the middle to the other kids, everyone seems in agreement they just do not like it.
Should I just ignore this and say it’s just a middle name? It is not like I was in love with the name [name_f]Marie[/name_f] (my middle name, my grandma’s first name, my great grandma’s middle name, etc)`and I still used it in the middle of my last child. Or would you just pick a unique middle name and go with it? The first name will likely be [name_m]Liam[/name_m] …so… [name_m]Liam[/name_m] [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] or [name_u]Rowan[/name_u] [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] or something like that.
You should do what feels right to you. I think [name_m]Liam[/name_m] [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] sounds lovely, as well as [name_m]Liam[/name_m] [name_m]Matteo[/name_m] or [name_u]Rowan[/name_u] [name_m]Matthew[/name_m]/[name_m]Matteo[/name_m]. You could also use two middle names–one you love, and one to honor [name_m]Matthew[/name_m].
I’m so sorry for the loss you’ve experienced. I think Matthew is a handsome name, but you should only use it if it sits right with you and your family. Another option is to use a similar name such as Matteo, Mathias, Mathis, Matthison, Maceo, or Hugh (like the ending of Matthew). Did Matthew bear a middle name that you could use again or create a combo of Matthew+middle name to make a new name?
I just looked up the meaning of Matthew, “gift of God.” You could choose another name with the same meaning, including Nathaniel, Theodore, Thaddeus, and more.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] what feels right; I second that. I think having already used [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] as a middle personally I would continue and use [name_m]Matthew[/name_m]. [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] and [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] both end the same way. I think they are both such lovely names and I have cousins with these names. Your son will forever have the name and always go by his first name so like I said personally I would if it means something like this, I feel like middle names should mean something petsonally I think since they don’t get used day to day, its just going to sit there if it doesn’t mean anything if it does its doing something. Congrats on your baby
I feel the best advice that I can offer is that your intention matters more than the name. If you used [name_m]Matteo[/name_m], or another name that means gift from god, [name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m] or etc - the name doesn’t matter. It is the remembrance of [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], the nod to his presence that matters. So if the name is [name_m]Matthias[/name_m] - [name_m]Liam[/name_m] [name_m]Matthias[/name_m] - you and your family know it’s a nod to him. If the name is [name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m], [name_m]Liam[/name_m] [name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m], then [name_m]Thaddeus[/name_m] meaning gift from God is a nod to him. You guys know why the name is there, you guys agreed as a family that this name will be your nod of remembrance. So it doesn’t have to be his name, it just has to be a thoughtful, intentional name that reflects your family’s inclusion of him. Does that make sense?
