Why do people start to dislike names that are popular?

General Name Discussion
1

I notice this frequently on this board and others. Posters seem to ‘go off’ names once they become popular/ in common use. I understand that a lot of us prefer to choose something unusual rather than have their child be [name]Ellie[/name] A/B/C but I find it difficult to grasp why people actually start to dislike, ‘go off’ a name or speak disparagingly about it once it enters the top 50 or so.

Personally, I like quite a lot of popular names (all popular in the UK)
[name]Eve[/name], [name]Isabel[/name], [name]Eleanor[/name], [name]Grace[/name], [name]Katharine[/name], [name]Charlotte[/name], [name]Henry[/name], [name]Joseph[/name], [name]Benjamin[/name], [name]Oliver[/name], [name]William[/name].
I still love these names just as much even though they are commonly used.
Why do you think this happens?

2

Maybe people are bitter that their old favorite is now too popular for them to use. I really don’t know. There are a ton of names in the top 50 that I really, really love. Most of them I would no longer use because of their popularity simply because for me personally, it makes the name a lot less appealing. I think [name]Isabella[/name] is a gorgeous name, but it was much more beautiful when you only heard of one once in a while. [name]Sophia[/name] is one of my favorite names, but it loses much of it’s specialness if you know 15 of them. That doesn’t make me hate the names, though. They just lose what is, to me, an extremely important quality in a name. I went to school with girls with such interesting names: Tamberlyn, [name]Jasper[/name], [name]Miranda[/name], [name]Wendy[/name], [name]Amber[/name], [name]Libby[/name], [name]Violetta[/name], [name]Abby[/name], [name]Emily[/name], etc. They were all the only one I ever met with their name. So even a normal name like [name]Abby[/name] seemed really cool since she was the only one. Now that there is an [name]Abby[/name], [name]Addy[/name] and [name]Maddy[/name] in every classroom? Not so special anymore. So that’s how I feel about popular names. The name itself is still beautiful, and it’s still a name that will serve a child well in life, etc. But it’s just no longer something I would feel comfortable using. That’s just me, though.

3

Personally, I still like some popular names well enough but if I like a name and then it becomes very common, it doesn’t feel special anymore. Like it’s not my name. It’s a name shared by so many people and it loses all meaning, like repeating a word over and over.

I sort of feel that I love names and your children should be special to you, they should feel unique and one of a kind to their parents. So their name should reflect that and really be their name, rather than their name and 10 other kids in their year at school

4

One reason might be negative associations. One of the reason I love [name]Dinah[/name] is because I’ve never met a [name]Dinah[/name] – let alone a mean, selfish, petty, or self-absorbed [name]Dinah[/name]. I’m free to imagine what I like about a girl named [name]Dinah[/name].

I notice the names of people on the news. Often it isn’t that they are criminals. But if the news interviews a “[name]Cody[/name],” and he is blank-eyed, covered in bad, dated tattoos, and you can smell through the TV screen the marijuana drifting out of his apartment behind him, I do think – bleah! [name]Cody[/name] has definitely getting too popular! That isn’t a rational thought. But I do it.

I also believe we have all gotten too sensitive about name popularity. More and more, I think it is brave to use a name you love even though it is popular, just as it was once brave to use an unusual name you loved.

5

Totally agree with this. Most of the regular posters on this board like eccentric names and thumb their noses at anything in the top 100…unless it is considered a “classic” with history behind it. I myself don’t like made up names, creatively spelled names, etc… but I think there are certainly some very nice names that didn’t make their way onto the scene until maybe the 50’s etc. That doesn’t mean because they don’t have a long history that they are crap.

I personally don’t care for very eccentric names. I don’t like overly popular names in the top 10. I like names that are familiar but not overused. I am not into some of the very unusual, old fashioned names that are often thrown around here. I find some interesting and even a few pretty, but personally wouldn’t use them… To each their own I guess.

I just don’t always care for the attitude that seems to accompany a post if you happen to like a name that is in the top 100. A lot of my favorite names are at the bottom of the top 100. I feel they are familiar but not overused.

6

When I read boards, I see that [name]Penelope[/name] has “gotten popular” but I have yet to meet a little [name]Penelope[/name] so it’s really relative. I love the name, no matter how popular it’s getting. Same with my other option’s middle name “[name]Amelia[/name]” I happen to love it and think it’s classic.

7

I agree it’s kinda silly for people to say they hate or even dislike a name they once loved just because it’s popular.

I love alot of very popular names. (the ones you mentioned are some of my favs too). So I don’t dislike or hate them. I just choose not to name my own children a top 10 or top 100 name at this point. I do see both sides though. If I love [name]Evelyn[/name] for example – why don’t I just pick it and not worry about people saying it’s too popular or she has to be called [name]Evelyn[/name] C. everwhere she goes. I think my thoughts there are that there are so many other names I love too and I can easily find one that fits my baby beyond [name]Evelyn[/name]. If it was all my husband and I could settle on… I’d pick [name]Evelyn[/name] and be happy!

8

I completely agree- it’s ridiculous! In my opinion, if you are truly in love with a name, you should like it more every time you hear it. I feel that way about [name]Sophia[/name]/[name]Sofia[/name]- I actually kind of like that it’s popular because I can hear it so much. I would still use it in a heartbeat. I see where people are coming from wanting a name that’s not super common, but at the same time, why would you settle for a name you didn’t like as much just because it’s less popular? There are benefits to having popular names that are very often overlooked- popular names are generally easier to spell and pronounce and no one will ever think it’s weird. Popular names could be called “boring,” but boring, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t that bad. In a perfect world, my favorite names would be uncommon. But given the choice between a quirky, unique name that I liked and a super popular name that I loved, I would go for the latter.

9

I think the names just start to lose their individuality… and they no longer feel special to you.

But I have noticed that some names that are considered super popular on Nameberry, are almost nonexistent in real life. Like [name]Henry[/name], [name]Penelope[/name], [name]Declan[/name], [name]Chloe[/name], etc. My SO and I were talking about names the other day, and I brought up the fact that his name ([name]William[/name]) is like #5 in the country right now, but we’ve yet to meet a little [name]William[/name]. Maybe it’s just where we live though…

10

This made me laugh so hard…

I have an ex-boyfriend named [name]Cody[/name] and believe me, that description fits him perfectly!

11

My personal understanding is, it isn’t so much that they suddenly dislike a name they liked before, but that no one wants their child to bear a done-to-death, generic name.

[name]Just[/name] as a fashion fades once everyone is wearing it, because no one wants to look boring, names fade from favor when they too, become so commonplace as to be boring and generic.

It takes many years, or else someone really famous by that name, to make a once-generic name sound fresh and original.

Most people want to find a name for their child that evokes positive connotations to most people, that is not so unique or original as to be off-puttingly weird, yet not so familiar and common as to be, well, common.

12

I totally understand that people don’t want to use a ‘done to death’ name. I do understand the sentiment of wanting to choose a unique or at least unusual name for your precious baby. Of course, that is why names go in and out of fashion. After the name has been v popular for a number of years, parents want to find something less popular.

What I find difficult is when someone has asked for opinions on a short list of popular names and posters reply saying 'don’t use that, there are millions of ‘x name’ around. (I haven’t especially noticed this on nameberry but have seen it on another site). There will have been no suggestion from the OP that they don’t want a popular name but people will make these comments as if there is something wrong with the name because of it’s relative popularity.
I have also see people ‘going off’ names once they become popular and I find this a bit strange- it is still the same name and just as attractive or unattractive to an objective ear as before.

[name]Just[/name] one more point on the ‘trying to find a unique name’ front! There really is no such thing as a unique name and I think anyone who seeks this is going to be disappointed. There is no such thing as ‘my name’. [name]Every[/name] child is unique and special to their parents whether their name is [name]Isabella[/name] or something unheard of. There are always several trends going on in naming and parents seem to catch on to this and pick similar sounding names at the same time. I think there was another thread on here about this recently…

13

Agreed. The chronic misuse of “unique” in this society if endlessly irritating. “[name]Unique[/name]” means “one of a kind.” Not unusual. Not even very, very, verrrryyy rare. Not “Hey – there are only two of us. Me – and that guy in South [name]Africa[/name].” [name]Unique[/name] means “One of a kind.” If anyone else on the planet has the same name, it is NOT unique. [name]Even[/name] if she just died yesterday. Also “unique” is an absolute. Something is either unique, or it isn’t. You can’t have a name that is kind of unique, or more unique than [name]Jen[/name], very unique or only a little unique. [name]Unique[/name] – only followed by YES or NO. No other choices on the screen. I suppose you might say, “My son’s name is unique to his kindergarten class.” (But not unique to the school, the neighborhood, your city, the world.) [name]Unique[/name] names are as rare a unicorns, but perhaps less interesting.

Also the quest for “unique” can become irritating. People carry on as though naming their babies is the only time in their lives they can express themselves and their creativity. Surely there comes a time one should move on to picking colors for the nursery, clothes for the baby. This is just one choice in a dizzying array of self-defining, self-expressing choices that go with parethood!

14

"unique’ is probably not a concept that really exists with regards to naming (at least first names). It also isn’t a good thing. If other people hear a ‘unique’ name and like it, they will start to use it. A name that remains unused by others is probably v unattractive to most people and hence not the best name to give your child!
I have no problem with unusual names and totally understand the desire to find a name for your child that he/ she won’t have to share with several others in the school. I just don’t think we should get too caught up with this as one will end up disappointed.

15

Well, there is also the assertion from Freakonomics that parents choose names that they perceive as “high class.” Names start in creative upper class pockets and filter down until they are popular among “common” people. The name then loses its cachet and eventually sounds “low class.” [name]Madison[/name] is a perfect example of this trend, and names like [name]Isabella[/name], [name]Sophia[/name], [name]Ava[/name], etc. are well on their way. So this could explain why someone who previously loved an unusual name now feels distaste for the name which is suddenly heard at every strip mall and fast food restaurant. We like names not only for their sound, but for the image that we perceive of the name, which is much more impressionable.

16

I still like popular names. In fact one of my favorite names is [name]Elizabeth[/name]. It has been for quite some time. I don’t hear it used much around [name]Nova[/name] [name]Scotia[/name] which is where I live, so I might even consider using it still.

I just think paying attention to the popularity charts makes you get your thinking cap on. But it should never persuade you from using a name you love. If you love [name]Ava[/name] I say use it. If you want an [name]Ethan[/name], go for it!!

17

[name]Hi[/name]!

I’m chiming in late, and my thoughts are pretty inchoate, but here goes:

I notice that people sometimes seem to think that giving a child a name that she would have to share with someone else in her class, say, or in the school, neighborhood, etc. would be just dreadful. I understand if people have bad memories of being [name]Jennifer[/name] C. or whatever, but my experience was just the opposite. I hated having a name few others had–for me, my name wasn’t responsible for my feeling out-of-it, but it underlined it. And on the whole, I wouldn’t say I have a very out-there name, just one that wasn’t commonly used. I completely agree that an [name]Isabella[/name] in 2010 is not any less special and unique to her parents than, say, a [name]Viola[/name] or a [name]Clementine[/name] or a [name]Theodora[/name] is to hers–and I don’t think that giving your child a name that is in common use destines her to a fate of feeling that she has no identity. I don’t mean to say that I don’t think names matter, but I think they matter (to the child) in ways that we (parents) cannot predict.

I think it’s really interesting that so many people are deterred by popularity in girls’ names so much more than in boys’ names, but I’m too tired to wrap my mind around this right now.

[name]Per[/name] phoebesmom’s remarks, yes, I think the anxiety about choosing a less popular name reflects a profound class consciousness. I also think that the desire to choose a name that isn’t popular is so ubiquitous in certain circles, that consciously choosing a popular name is practically original. (I remember thinking when I was pregnant that naming my girl [name]Emma[/name] would be a radical act, though maybe that’s overstating it . . .). Another way to look at it is that choosing an offbeat name can potentially be just as slavish to fashion as choosing a popular one.

Another thing a friend pointed out to me when I was pregnant: you might choose a name that is off the charts for your baby, but all it takes is for one celebrity (or celebrity’s baby) to come along with that name and that name feels totally appropriated. (Hmm, come to think of it, this happened with my own name . . .). Whereas a name in more common use is unlikely to be associated with any one person, giving the child more room to inhabit it in her own way.

I do understand the idea of getting bored with a name once you hear it again and again . . . but the fear of popularity does strike me as a bit extreme at times and the wish to have an unusual name strikes me as, well, usual.

Thanks for the thread, mummyto3!

18

For me, it’s a little like hearing a song a million times. You know, one of those catchy tunes that’s played at least five times an hour on popular radio stations? Sometimes you’re digging it at first, like the sound or whatever and then after a few days you’re just dying to get away from it. That happens to me with names. It gets irritating hearing the same name on every child you see. My cousin gave birth to one of the first [name]Jaedon[/name]'s around here…since then, just about every little boy and a good chunk of the little girls here are running about with the name. It suggest a lack of originality, a lack of thought into the name and usually suggest to me that the parents are a little on the sheep side. Plus, just like you said, I think it’s very unfortunate to be [name]Emma[/name] P, [name]Emma[/name] C, [name]Emma[/name] M and [name]Emma[/name] J.

19

We named our second son [name]Jacob[/name], and at the time we didn’t realize how popular his name was. When we found out, 6 months later we were so aggravated. Now that it’s been so popular for so many years, we hear it every single place we go. We are constantly turning our heads to see who is calling our son. My cousin named her baby [name]Jacob[/name], my brother-in-law’s gf named her baby [name]Jacob[/name] (he met her after she had her baby), and there have been no less than 3 other [name]Jacob[/name]'s in each of his classes in school. It is rather annoying! It’s not like [name]Jacob[/name] has unique nn’s either - [name]Jake[/name], and that’s about it. We were going to call him JJ, but we’ve also run into quite a few Jacobs that are nn’d JJ. We questioned [name]Cob[/name], but he didn’t like that. So to us, he is simply [name]Jacob[/name].

After that whole “life-time” of an experience, our daughters have less common names - [name]Alanna[/name] and [name]Sariah[/name]. We purposely disregarded the names in the top 100 (with the exception of a few classics) when we made our lists. [name]Alanna[/name]'s (there is also [name]Alana[/name], and [name]Alannah[/name]) name is getting much more popular, since she was born I personally know of 2 people that named their daughter that, and I’ve heard it quite a few times out in public. I just hope it waits to get in the top 100 until she’s a little older.

20

Some interesting responses.
I disagree that well used names are ‘boring’ or that the parents may be unimaginative. As I said, an [name]Isabella[/name] or [name]Jacob[/name] is just as unique and special to their parents and everyone else as a child with an unheard of or very unusual name. To me, well used classics, like those listed above, are not boring but often beautiful names, which have stood the test of time.

I think the point about class consciousness and name associations is quite right. This certainly happens in the UK too and I think that people here are even more ‘class aware’ than in ‘The States’. Names are quite often described as ‘chavvy’ (silly word) on British boards.

I also think [name]Hilary[/name]'s point is an interesting one:
‘I don’t mean to say that I don’t think names matter, but I think they matter (to the child) in ways that we (parents) cannot predict.’

This is so true. We cannot predict a child’s personality and how they will respond to having a particularly popular or unusual name. We can only hope that we make a choice which they will be fairly happy with for their lifetime. If we want to be extremely ‘creative’ it might be better to express this somewhere other than in naming our children!!