Okay, I get it. This site is based more on opinion, something we all have the right to. But why are so many boy names written off as too feminine?
The patriarchy.
Sorry, I had to… but in all seriousness, it’s ingrained into our society that being masculine is good and being feminine is lesser or ‘bad’. That’s why you’ll see more people wanting to name their girls [name_u]James[/name_u] or [name_m]Wyatt[/name_m] than wanting to name their boys [name_u]Vivian[/name_u] or [name_u]Ashley[/name_u] (even though those are examples of traditionally boys’ names where [name_u]James[/name_u] and [name_m]Wyatt[/name_m] have little to no history of use for girls). Disclaimer: not all parents who name their daughters’ unisex or “boy” names buy into this philosophy, at least not consciously; for some it’s a matter of taste, but the example still applies.
I’m sure someone will explain it more eloquently than me, but that’s my basic understanding. For most people it’s not even a conscious thing, but it’s important to recognize that our perspective is colored by being raised in a patriarchal society. So I think it’s really cool that at 16 you’re able to recognize a problematic practice and call it into question. Kudos!
I don’t think it’s Nameberry alone, but as Greyer said, a wider societal trend. There seems to be a lot of people in the US who give their sons names like [name_m]Gunner[/name_m], [name_m]Colt[/name_m], [name_u]Hunter[/name_u], etc., that refer to ‘manly’ activities or cowboys. (Yes, I know [name_m]Gunnar[/name_m] is a legit Scandinavian name, but it’s not pronounced the same as [name_m]Gunner[/name_m].) In addition, the trend of giving traditionally boys names to girls means that there is a fear of giving your son a name that has ‘gone to the girls’ or will do so. As well, those English-speakers who have less contact with other cultures and languages sometimes perceive names that have been traditionally male in other countries as feminine, names like [name_u]Luca[/name_u], [name_u]Milan[/name_u], and [name_u]Florian[/name_u] that have always been used for boys in other countries. I don’t think that’s unique to Nameberry, and in fact I think Nameberry has more people than the general public who would appreciate some of those names, but there are always people whose opinion sways more to the ‘manly-names’ side of things.
Sexism. Things that are deemed feminine are acceptable for girls and bad for boys. We’ve gotten to the point where select masculine traits are acceptable for girls such as competitiveness, sportiness and intelligence (as long as they look attractive while doing it) but less movement has been made for so called feminine traits to be acceptable for boys. A good thing to do is look critically at the media you consume, websites, movie, TV, books and think about how men and women a portrayed. Who are the heroes and who are the villains, what sorts of characteristics do the comic characters have and what sort of traits do the heroes have and how is that portrayed through gender?
Personal opinion. Everyone has their own opinions on names 
it’s usually based on what we are familiar with. If we grow up knowing [name_m]Richards[/name_m], Dans , and Toms, we may think [name_m]Julian[/name_m] and [name_u]Luca[/name_u] don’t sound as masculine.
Like the other berries, I say it’s sexism. Now, see, there is nothing wrong with a woman/girl being masculine, and likewise there is nothing wrong with men/boys being feminine- but our society is so patriarchal that masculinity in any gender is fine, but femininity is only okay if you’re female or trans. I actually dig a lot of girl names on boys(such as [name_f]Eve[/name_f]), and a lot of boy names on girls(such as [name_m]Montgomery[/name_m]), so this gets to me. This is [name_f]Pam[/name_f] and [name_f]Linda[/name_f]'s site, and they can do what they want with, but this is still a site about names, names that could be given to babies, and some of the descriptions can be downright mean. I feel like [name_f]Pam[/name_f] and [name_f]Linda[/name_f] are too opinionated-yeah, their site, their rules, but they seem to be letting their own opinions get in the way. They made this with the intention(as far as I know)of being a site where name lovers and expecting parents come to gather and talk about names, and then they say “you can’t name your son this because it’s to feminine, but this uber-masculine name is totally fine for your little girl!”.
It’s misogyny combined with a heavy dose of chauvinism.
The original femininist logic was that both sexes were equal. And thus when the movement started to make changes, we obviously wanted girls to have more level footing with our formerly superior counterparts, e.g. - we let girls have short hair, trousers, outspoken personalities, sports etc. Which was wonderful but, the biggest mistake we made was that we didn’t impliment similar changes on the male side of the spectrum. So, while parents begun to tell their daughters that being masculine and boyish was cool and strong and A-OK, no parent bothered to mention to their sons that being feminine and girlish was just as cool and just as A-OK. Therein lies the problem.
Fast forward several generations and we now live in a society that glorifies masculinity for both our daughters and our son. On the flip-side, feminity is now (or should I say still?) being portrayed as weak and submissive and undesirable. Even for girls, femininity is being demonized - as ‘tomboys’ are generally seen as powerful and progressive and awesome whereas ‘girly girls’ are being frequently stereotyped as simpering and airheaded. And for boys, it’s even worse. Most people would never consider a girl name, a unisex name or even a soft name for a boy nowadays because, to them, that would symbolically be lowering said boy’s position in life to that of a girl - which most people see as shameful. The same can be said for letting a boy wear pink or a dress or something with frills, sequins or jewels on it (popular male styles in the past). Or letting a boy have long hair or play with dolls or do ballet, or even just letting a boy be sensitive and compassionate. Very few people want to see any of that, because letting boys have anything to do with girls is just plain wrong, apparently. And yet, funnily enough, the same women who would shame their sons for liking ‘girly’ things will later complain that men don’t respect women enough or don’t take the time to understand us. My question is, how are boys and men ever going to truly value us when they’re taught from day one that anything feminine is bad?
With all that being said, I soooooo hate that Nameberry is contributing to this horrifying societal injustice by putting the boy-names-on-girls trend on blast, while simultaniously discouraging and shaming any boy name that isn’t a dull classic (Alexander, Michael, John) or tryndee butch (Jett, Paxton, Ryker etc.) And until the creators of this site wise up, cop on and get some smarts, and being to showcase feminine choices as desirable options for boys, I simply cannot accept or even tolerate boy names on girls.
Though, I will admit, I take perverse pleasure in defying Nameberry’s s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶a̶c̶t̶i̶c̶s̶/̶b̶u̶l̶l̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ advice by coveting names such as Mallory, Leslie and Evelyn for future sons of mine…
For clarification. I’m not asking anyone to change their opinion, as that is a very difficult thing to do. Rather I’m initiating a discussiom to explore why people feel the way they do.
Perhaps because this site is run by females and most of users, I assume, are female as well. Also, these days women do not let their daughters be feminine in order to make them tough and claim it’s gender equality. [name_m]Hence[/name_m] the number of female Jameses and Michaels. Why not embrace femininity and save a girl from a lifetime of explaining her misleading name? In my country male names are for boys and feminine for girls and yes, I’m biased.
I’m a female. I’m also a tomboy. But I don’t prefer boyish names for girls over frilly ones.
In fact, I don’t see what’s wrong wrong ultra feminine names. The child grows into the name. The name doesn’t necessarily make the child.
There’s no proof that an [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] or [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] who isn’t so much of a girly girl will hate her name or feel hindered by it, nor would people assume her personality based on her name. (If they did that’s just not a smart assumption.)
theodora_phoenix reminded me of another point: GIRLS names are seen as too feminine! I’ve seen people put down [name_f]Gabriella[/name_f], [name_f]Arabella[/name_f] (basically anything that ends with -ella) as too frilly, and I just don’t get it!!!
@aldabellaxwulfe your commentary is completely on point. Thank you so much for explaining my problem with fromally male unisex names to me. I think it’s also worth noting that there are only feminizations of names, and rarely any masculisations if any.
The patriarchy and gender roles. Men are supposed to be “manly” and “strong” and not things associated with femininity. Having a name typically given to females or sounding more feminine apparently makes them seem weak. It’s really quite stupid.
It makes me so proud when I see people spelling out the truth on ‘unisex’ names like on this thread! When I was first on here a few years ago people would always be more cautious, confused, ambiguous. The small changes make me happy 
Nameberry is a very tiny fraction of the English-speaking world’s combined societal paradigm: unfortunately this does contain a significant amount of internalised misogyny which is reflected in our naming practices and emphasised here by the nature of this being a naming website.
I don’t have time to write now, but I wanted to add that seeing this thread and the discussion contained within has made my night! It is so important to look at why we do / do not conform to such norms (naming trends both explicit and implied) with a critical eye. Thanks for raising the issue!
I’d just like to add that there is nothing wrong with actual unisex names; just look at [name_f]China[/name_f]! All most all names, in almost all pinyin, are entirely unisex and have been for over a millennia(or at least a few centuries). The same goes for Korea, though there
is a larger amount of names that are assigned to one gender. Or even Japan! [name_u]Akira[/name_u], one of the most recognizable Japanese names, is unisex, as well as Hinata, Shiori, and Minato.
Also, in Fiji, if a female family member wants a male child named after her, he will get a female name, such as Sovaia. It’s not unusual even in the slightest over there.
So, no, nothing wrong with actually unisex names. In my opinion, surnames are free-for-all, as they can be used as honor names.
Yeah, it’s annoying to see that thrown around to discourage people from using a name on a boy. I know that when most posters label a male name as ‘feminine’ it’s meant to be derogatory but that’s not a bad thing to me. I love many of my top boy names because they possess a so-called feminine quality- softness. Not everyone wants their son to have an abrasive, rough & tumble, violent, or hyper-masculine name.
I’ll add to maggiefromcanada’s comment and say that lack of exposure also plays a part. You’ll often see comments saying ‘I’ve only known girls named (insert unisex/male name) so it’s feminine’. I’ve known males & females named [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_f]Willow[/name_f], [name_u]Loren[/name_u], [name_u]Courtney[/name_u], [name_u]Carey[/name_u], [name_u]Robin[/name_u], and etc so to me they’re unisex. Some people don’t bother thinking beyond what they’re familiar with and won’t accept anything else, except when it comes to boy names on girls of course.
I grew up in a diverse area & was exposed to international names so my view of masculine vs feminine vs unisex is not the same as someone from a typical American town with little to no diversity. Americans tend to have an annoying habit of deeming anything unfamiliar as less than. And since this is a misogynistic society, less than can be equivalent to feminine.
For years, men are made fun of for being just the slightest bit feminine and I don’t think it’s fair. And nameberry celebrates that fact! [name_m]Even[/name_m] more so than just that, they also like to add that names from other countries would be hard for “English speakers to pronounce” Since when were english speakers the only ones welcome to use this site? Many other countries who don’t speak much english also are members of this site and I wonder how they feel when they see a perfectly acceptable name that is native to their country put down because “whoops! Too hard to pronounce for us, so it isn’t a good name and it’ll never make a comeback if it’s old!” This has gone from just people talking to people talking and giving information and opinions on baby names to bullying and putting down others.
I even knew a young mother that was set on [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] for her little boy and was put off by “Your great-aunt, and despite the fact that writer [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] Waugh was male, not your baby boy.” [name_m]How[/name_m] rude and sexist!
I’ve grown tired of nameberry’s sexism, especially since it seems to get many members into arguments over countless forums.
Because society is full of cra* (can you use these words on here, I’m not sure).
Because there is no word like “tom girl”, there’s only “gay”.
Because girls get those American four-wheelers, while boys don’t get dolls because see above.
Because when a girl wears boys’ clothes and acts like a boy, she’s cool but when a boy acts feminine, he’s see above.
Because when a BOYS’ name has been used on a girl, it suddenly becomes unusable for half of [name_u]America[/name_u]‘s boys’ parents.
Because we’re still living in an uneducated society where many people are still only listening to their teachers, parents and preachers and don’t think for themselves.
Because people still say “yes, boys can wear pink things” while they don’t feel the need to explain their girls wearing blue.
Because femininity is seen as bad, even for girls.
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone – I’m concerned that there’s so much concern here about sexism on Nameberry. We are feminists and we believe in equality in all things. We also try to be honest about the perception of a name in modern society – and yes, as Americans, we can’t help but be culture-centric as that’s the society we understand best. Sometimes that means calling out a name as dated or overplayed or overly macho or frilly. It’s highly unfair to call us sexist and misogynist.
That said, this database has been written over many years and as you know contains thousands and thousands of names. We are always revisiting and updating descriptions. It would be so much more helpful to call out specific examples where you think we cross the line on gender identity so we can revisit. I’ll revisit the [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] description, for instance, not because I think people should name their sons [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] but because it’s too snarky and dismissive in this era when [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] is the Number 16 name for girls.
Please note that we don’t have a girls’ entry for the corollary male name [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], and the only reason [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] has a male entry at all is because of [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] Waugh. We’re not going to recommend that people name their sons [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] – though there were five boys given the name in the US in 2014 vs. 8600+ girls – any more than we’d encourage people to name their daughters [name_m]Matthew[/name_m].
We’d like to know which name entries in particular you find sexist so we can take another look. Thank you.
@pam, I actually think that nameberry is one of the only sites where I feel like most long-term members are more on the feminist side. It’s usually the ones that pop in once or twice, that don’t talk and discuss names much that I see saying these things.
The only thing that slightly bothers me about the entries is that sometimes BOYS names are too quickly put as unisex. [name_m]Just[/name_m] because people use them for their girls (in relatively small numbers still) doesn’t make them unisex to me. A name becomes unisex if it’s about equally used for both genders. I know some people say, well [name_u]James[/name_u] has been used on girls before, but [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] and [name_f]Anna[/name_f] and [name_f]Rose[/name_f] and [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] have all been used on boys before, too, and they still are not listed as unisex names.
And when people say “things are automatically unisex”, where’s the blue entry for [name_f]Rose[/name_f] or [name_f]Lily[/name_f]?