Will you copy your parents parenting style in terms of ...?

then suggest the next one

i will start
food

Yes, mostly.

[name_f]Holiday[/name_f] celebrations?

Hmm, I think I’d give more emphasis on traditions, decorating, giving etc!

Social media?

Hmmm, probably

Screen time / usage of electronics?

There were no screens in the house besides the TV when I was a kid. [name_f]My[/name_f] kids live in a whole different world. Lol I should probably have them outside more like my parents did with us, honestly.

Discipline?

Yes, mostly

Curfews?

I don’t exactly have a curfew, and I’m grateful my parents trust me enough to listen to them. I hope I can raise my own kids to do the same.

Food and mealtimes?

No.
[name_f]My[/name_f] parents raised me vegetarian but as an adult I don’t think that even with all the most iron rich veges, a vegetarian diet was enough to support my needs (possibly B12 too?) through pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding etc.
[name_f]My[/name_f] parents also weren’t the best cooks, and Mum ended up tired and stressed and doing most of it herself. I want to involve my kids more in cooking so they’re really good at it before leaving home.
They were also of the generation where “you can’t have dessert until you’ve eaten everything on your plate”. Being told I wasn’t allowed to leave the table til I’d had my asparagus did NOT help me develop a love of asparagus :sweat_smile:

Gift-giving for birthdays and [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] etc?

Honestly, yes. I don’t think I’ll give quite as many gifts on Christmas as they do (I want 3-4 children, and I’m one of 2, so I will inevitably probably have to budget differently than they do.), but birthdays are definitely a yes, and I will probably follow a similar amount of gifts for Christmas.

Discipline / punishments / consequences (I know I view all of these words differently, so that’s why I’ve used them all!)?

Absolutely not. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents were too strict and controlling, and I find that damaging.

How they choose to spend family time?

No. [name_f]My[/name_f] Dad was very pushy about “family time”, but it usually ended up just being watch TV. He used to come and interrupt my reading or drawing and say I was being antisocial and make me come hang out in the lounge room while the tv was on. What is the point of that? No one is actually engaging with each other. I’d rather my children spend time doing things they enjoy.

Food? (E.g. “you must finish your plate”, “you’re not allowed to say you don’t like it”, “just be thankful you have food”, etc)

Using your examples, no. I would like for them to take at least a few bites to properly try something out. Unless they absolutely despise it, I would ask them to finish at least enough of their plate to fill up for the rest of the day/night.

Playing outside?

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No, we didn’t spend much time outside as kids (for reasons including us living next to a busy street and my parents having things to do for work after their regular work day, so they couldn’t come outside with us very easily), and I’d like for my children to spend a lot more time outside. I’d like for time spent outside to include both my children, my husband, and myself!

Bedtimes?

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For younger kids, probably yes. We had set bedtimes when I was younger, and honestly it was good because we always knew when to wind down and go upstairs.

For older kids, no. Both them and I know that I’m not sleeping enough (7-8 hours on a GOOD night), but they’re still strict about going to bed at a reasonable hour, which sadly doesn’t work with my workload of school, music, church, and friends. And then they’re unhappy when I don’t get everything done. With older kids I think I’d make sure they slept at night, but if they were being productive, fine, they’ll just be tired the next day.

Grades/schoolwork?

Yes and no. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents never put much pressure on me which I liked, but I ended putting a lot of pressure on myself to achieve well at school while not having anyone overseeing or discussing my homework with me in a way that might help me develop my organisational and time management skills etc or might enrich my learning. They were great at intermediate but didn’t even really ask once I was at high school.

So I kinda… don’t want to be strict about homework (honestly I think kids should be cooking and doing sports etc after school anyway rather than more school), but I also want to discuss it with my kids throughout high-school and male more regular time to sit with them and help out. I also want to be more explicit about grades NOT being the be-all and end-all. All learning is important, not everyone has to go to uni (goodness knows the trades are important!).


…with extracurricular activities?

yes! my parents let us pick which extracurriculars we wanted to do as long as we did one sport / physical activity. i feel like it was really good for my siblings and i, and it’s helped us make friends and learn valuable skills. i’d totally do what my parents did!

chores?

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