I asked as a secondary question on another thread for people to rate a few names from one to ten, and my definition of one was the kid being bullied forever.
I want to elaborate on this, because on another site, I got a comment where the commenter said I should pick different names because they thought my future kids would be bullied for them.
Then, when I asked my best friend, she said they might be bullied too, though she was mostly coming from a place of, kids will make fun of anything.
I am also of the mind that kids will find a way to mock any name, and as long as there are no obviously teasable nicknames, you should be good to go.
However, these names are a little less common, while not quite rare. I still worry about it because Iâm a bit paranoid about it.
Will kids named Tolliver, Romilly, and Briony be bullied for their names? Can you find any easy to bully nickname options, or any rhyming words that may be problematic?
Please answer kindly, but honestly. Thanks in advance.
I am, and have always been, of a mind that kids bully kids and people bully people, not their names. Some names can make the bullying more convenient, but no name is a guarantee the child will be bullied solely on that (I am named [name_f]Helen[/name_f], I never had any hell comments from anyone growing up besides an adult family member). Names have diversified in the last 20 years and have continued to, so I would also say it is likely children will encounter all kinds of names and it be no big issue. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom is a Kindergarten teacher and my sister is an aide for special education in an elementary school (rural, deep south, US) and bullying based on names is not something they encounter hardly ever and they both have students with very easily teasable nicknames (i.e. one kiddo who goes by âBJâ, an [name_f]Aspen[/name_f], a Dodie). I also taught [name_f]Sunday[/name_f] School for almost a decade and never really encountered bullying or teasing based on names; it tends to be more of an adult thing to tease or bully based on names than it is for children in my experience.
[name_f][/name_f]If you love a name I wouldnât worry too much about it. Maybe people will have an issue with it and maybe they wonât, itâs far more likely they wonât though. If you take a peak at birth announcements (near you, on Instagram, the name sightings threads here on Nameberry or elsewhere, or even offical birth name lists like the SSA) it may be easier to gauge how your names will go over in your specific area.
[name_f][/name_f]As for the ones you specified, [name_m]Tolliver[/name_m] is very close to [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] so it shouldnât be much of an issue. I personally know and know of a handful of [name_f]Briony[/name_f] / Bryonyâs, both spellings were popular in [name_f]Britain[/name_f] and [name_m]Wales[/name_m] in the 90s, and it is worn by several smaller celebrities and has been used in a few popular books and TV shows so most people should have some familiarity with it. It also sounds like a feminine form of [name_m]Brian[/name_m] which could also work in itâs favour. [name_f]Romilly[/name_f] has been on the rise in popularity in [name_f]Britain[/name_f] and [name_m]Wales[/name_m] in the past few years too, and I have seen it mentioned online a fair bit. With the popularity and/or usage of several sound-alike names like [name_m]Rome[/name_m], [name_f]Roma[/name_f], [name_m]Roman[/name_m], [name_f]Ramona[/name_f], [name_f]Romy[/name_f], [name_f]Millie[/name_f], and [name_f]Emily[/name_f] Iâm sure most people would be at least familiar with it or itâs sound. I honestly canât think of any easy teases for the three of them, and I think you could use any of them with very little issue.
[name_f][/name_f]Most places on the internet also tend to be very harsh and judgemental about names, but that never seems to be the case in the real world (or Nameberry most of the time!). Use the names you love, the worst that happens is your kid decides itâs not for them and wants to go by something else, which could happen just as easily if they were named [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] or [name_m]John[/name_m]
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I donât think that bullying is inevitable with any name and if they want to, kids will find a reason to make fun of anything. Thinking back to my own childhood, I can hardly remember any bullying based on names, and I went to school with some kids who had very unusual names, including names from other cultures and invented names that are unique to them. And also bear in mind that the name pool is more diverse now than it has ever been, and so fewer children receive the typical classic [name_f]English[/name_f] names like [name_m]John[/name_m] and [name_m]James[/name_m]. Itâs not likely that your child will be the only one with an unusual name in the class so I wouldnât worry about it too much. Focus on raising children with a healthy self-esteem that will make them resilient to bullying.
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I can only echo what previous posters said: Names have gotten more diverse anyway, none of the three youâre thinking about are that[name_f][/name_f] out-there. âThe kid will be bulliedâ is just a go-to reply from adults and a weird way of saying they have never heard of the name before, but as a prediction, itâs useless.
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Bullying is a big word for name-based mockery anyway. [name_m]Other[/name_m] kids might annoy [name_f]Romilly[/name_f] to hell and back by repeatedly asking her if sheâs from [name_m]Rome[/name_m] (and that happens with common names as well. I remember a teacher had to intervene to stop kids from repeatedly asking [name_f]Christine[/name_f] what theyâre [name_f][/name_f] getting for [name_m]Christmas[/name_m] because they all very suddenly noticed the similarity.)[name_f][/name_f], but no one is going to physically assault her or steal her clothes during gym class because[name_f][/name_f] her name is [name_f]Romilly[/name_f].
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But even trying to come up with a way to turn those names into something bad, I canât. I think [name_m]Tolliver[/name_m] will be misunderstood as [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] a bunch, and [name_f]Briony[/name_f] might be mistaken for [name_m]Brian[/name_m], or at most a feminization of [name_m]Brian[/name_m] that you made up âbecause you wanted a son named Brianâ.
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Tbh, a lot of people use âTheyâll be bulliedâ because they personally donât like the name and want to make their personal preference seem more objective and weighty than it actually is.
Romilly, Briony, and Tolliver are perfectly fine names. They have a slightly British, peppy, upbeat sound which might not be for everyone, but is very stylish and sweet. I feel like these names would fit perfectly in my preschool classes. The only small issue I can see is Tolliver might be mistaken for an Oliver, but I canât really see a bully latching on to that.
I also think bullying is often kids playing out adult bigotries. People will remember that kid with âthe weird nameâ getting bullied, but conveniently forget that the thin girl called Fiona had no problems, or how the kid they bullied for his name was also an immigrant and got bullied for his food and parentâs accents. Itâs a lot easier to blame parents for picking weird names than to acknowledge that our kids can learn to reject each other based on our own racism or classism or body shaming, sometimes learning biases we donât even realize weâre teaching them.
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