Would you allow your child to be friends with someone who ...?

then suggest the next one
i will start

5 years older than them when they were 10

I think this would depend on the level of friend and/or the child. If my oldest sorta saw them as a big bro/sis and they hung out sometimes (with supervision)? not a big deal.

But this could easily turn into (blocked because it can be a triggering/sensitive topic):

Summary

grooming so I would be cautious of allowing it to develop into that via conversations with my kid/kids and the teen’s parent/parents.

Be friends with someone whose parents allowed them to do things that you don’t at your child’s age? (example: you told your daughter she can dye her hair crazy colors when she turns 12 (due to upkeep) and her friend’s dad has let her do it at 10).

I would most likely except in extreme circumstances. Friendships are not all equal. If it was something “bad”, I wouldn’t let them go over for the weekend but would most likely be fine if they were partners for a class project. If they were always choosing this person as a partner then I would also get concerned. But like I said, not all friendships are besties.

…wanted to take your child to their religion’s place of worship?

No. I am a [name_u]Christian[/name_u] and that is all my kids are gonna know

…was a smoker (even if they arent when they become friends)

2 Likes

If my child was a juvenile, no. I’d distrust that friend too much even if they were telling the truth. If they’re an adult, I wouldn’t advise it but it’s free game in terms of what’s “allowed”.

Someone who gets a lot of allowance money that you wouldn’t have done with your own child?

Hm, that’s a tough one. I’d let them be friends, but I’d definitely use it as a way to open up conversations on money.

someone who is allowed to date at a young age?

Only if they’re strictly friends. I don’t need a kid losing a friendship over that.

Likes to come over to your house but rarely invites your kid to theirs?

Yes completely you don’t know what that child’s home life is like or if they are in a predicament where they can have people over.

Who has a bad school attendance record?

Depends on the reason why, I think. And how their attitude in general. Lastly, how it actually affects my kid. If they’re starting to skip school too and without important reason at that, we’d have a serious conversation. Might at least limit the time with said friend.

Always need to keep up with the latest trend, latest gadget, etc and influence your kid?

Latest gadget wouldn’t bother me. There’s always new technologies and products coming out that I wouldn’t mind them exploring those. Latest trend, it would depend on the trend. I know of a lot of very dangerous and not wise trends that teenagers tend to try out that I would not be okay with. But if it’s a TikTok dance or a new food to try I wouldn’t mind that.

Only speaks a different language than your child speaks?

Sure, if they can maintain that friendship and learn something new, more power to them! :smiley: :grinning:

Constantly compares themselves to your child?

Absolutely not. That means they’re not a true friend, and I would teach my child how to get out of that relationship.


Whose parents are looser than you in terms of allowance, curfew, other rules, etc?

I’d have to have a talk with them about how other parents raise their children differently. Then I’d decide whether to proceed.

Is a nice kid but has parents who are rude to others?

Sure, it’s not the kids fault their parents are rude. Although I probably wouldn’t send my kid to their house…

Someone who has a bully attitude toward others (but is nice to your kid) - ex teasing, pointing out flaws, being judgemental, etc.