Exactly as the title says… would you use an ex’s name for your child? If you one day realized the most perfect, amazing name, but then remembered that you once dated a person with the name? Would it depend on if things ended on good or bad terms with the person, or would you be strict about not using the name?
I used to strictly say that I would 100% never use an ex’s name, but now I’m rethinking it. I’m going out with a guy now, and probably won’t be with him for when years and years from now I have kids. I love his full name (he goes by a nickname 100% of the time) and I guess I’ll see in the future if I really would go through in using it! I love another ex boyfriend’s name as well, but that breakup was terrible, so I would probably think twice if that name was the “perfect name”.
I think this is a little tricky. I would not give your child a name of an ex that hurt you deeply, because it could remind you of the break-up. You wouldn’t want that image in your head when you soothe your baby, call him for dinner, etc. But if things ended amicably, and you genuinely loved the name, I think that it would be fine. As long as you’re not naming your baby after the ex!
I agree that it probably depends on the situation.
I adored the named [name]Geneva[/name] until I realized she’d probably be called [name]Gen[/name]–which was a girlfriend on my DH who hurt him deeply.
But then it’s also the city where we met, so I dunno, maybe I can convince myself that the nn [name]Eve[/name] could be pushed and [name]Gen[/name] spurned.
Uhg! I’m going through this problem right now! I’m not having children soon but always like having three-five combos ready for each gender (as that is the number of kids my fiance and I want one day). Right now I’m going through an intense crush on the combo [name]Conor[/name] [name]Ryan[/name] . . . and lucky me for having dated both a [name]Connor[/name] and a [name]Brian[/name]. Neither one of them hurt me or anything, so I have absolutely NO problem using the names . . . it’s my fiance that does. I can understand refusing to use [name]Conor[/name], but [name]Ryan[/name] just because it rhymes? That seems a little far to me.
On the complete other hand, fiance suggested [name]Jacey[/name] when his ex went by her initials: JC. -___-
[name]Long[/name] story short, I’d use ex’s names if I loved them enough. My relationship experience with all my exes was pretty neutral, so I wouldn’t make the connection.
I’m not really on awful terms with any of my exes…some I like more than others, some have very classic/common names while some have very unique names. My husband doesn’t know the names of everyone I’ve ever dated…but I imagine he wouldn’t be too pleased to find the name of an ex he knew about on my list! But if I briefly dated a guy named something like [name]James[/name] (I did) and he went by [name]Jim[/name] anyhow (he did) and I harbored no feelings of nostalgia for him (I don’t) I suppose I would consider it totally usable.
I prefer names that I don’t associate with people aside family tree type connections or greatly admired namesakes I guess.
It depends on your definition of ex. If I’d been out with a guy a few times and it just didn’t work out, I wouldn’t rule out the name. Anything serious, whether it ended badly or not, I’d say no. My grandma told my mom that my grandpa wanted to give her the first name [name]Frances[/name] because it was his ex-girlfriend’s name. My mom spent her entire childhood hating the name and would only go by her middle name. So while bad breakups might turn you off a name, a fondly remembered ex’s name could be hurtful to your husband/partner and to the child. Maybe there’s some wiggle room in very common names that could have other associations, like if you dated someone with your father’s name or some other major significance, but generally speaking, there are a lot more names to choose from than those of your exes, no matter how many guys you’ve dated by the time you have kids.
No, I couldn’t. My sister and I both have an ex named [name]Nicholas[/name] so I could never even add that to my list - even though it goes with my naming style. There are tons of names out there. I just couldn’t have the association. It would be even harder if it was one of my husband’s exes. At least his have names like [name]Nancy[/name], [name]Rachel[/name], [name]Sharie[/name] that I don’t care for anyway.
I do have a friend that is named after her dad’s first wife. It was apparently done to spite his mother - so the second wife was on board with it. My friend likes the story and doesn’t mind.
I’ve only had like one real ex, lol. His name is [name]Isaac[/name], it was a tricky situation that my current SO is well informed on, so the name is definitely not an option. If my current SO didn’t know, I probably would use it. It wasn’t the best ending, but it wasn’t one that scarred or hurt me. So I’m fine with it.
I don’t see the issue unless you’re doing it to remember your ex who you still wish you were with type situation. Then it’s disrespectful to the child’s father.
If the tables were reversed and SO loved a name that I liked but it was an exes, I wouldn’t mind using it provided the reasons were right. Luckily his exes have names I’m not the fondest of, [name]Tiffany[/name] is the only one I remember.
[name]Miranda[/name] [name]Kerr[/name] did it with her son, one of his middles is [name]Christopher[/name] after her boyfriend who died in a car accident when she was 15. Her husband, [name]Orlando[/name] Bloom, completely supported it, and that I find to be extremely heartwarming.
The only situation that I would say the use of an ex’s name is okay is if you and your SO are okay with it and you have the right reasons for doing so.
My younger sister loves the name [name]Alexander[/name], which is the name of her first serious bf who she’s broken up with. She adamently insists on using it, naming the child after her ex (BIG no-no) and her current bf who’s approved the name hates this kid. Its just not right.
With my DH and I ex’s names are off the table, middle names included. So [name]Scott[/name], [name]Talon[/name], [name]Miles[/name], [name]Noah[/name], [name]Ashley[/name], [name]Katherine[/name] and [name]Lee[/name]/[name]Leigh[/name]. The exceptions being the 2nd middle of one ([name]James[/name]) because it has family significance to me and [name]Marie[/name] because its so common.
I think it depends on the name and the situation. If the ex has a more unusual name (like [name]Westley[/name] … or something better – my imagination is shut down for the night), it seems like a big no-no. However, my exes have names like [name]Richard[/name], [name]Harry[/name], [name]Michael[/name], etc. I used to always joke that I needed to date a [name]Thomas[/name], so I could say I’d dated [name]Tom[/name], [name]Dick[/name], and [name]Harry[/name]. (Hopefully I’m not the only one who’s heard that phrase.)
Anyway, my point is those are classic names that are right up my (and my husband’s) alley, so I don’t think we’d scratch them off because I dated one. We will scratch them off, though, because we have close friends with kids named [name]Thomas[/name], [name]Michael[/name], and [name]Harry[/name].
That’s actually my dilemma right now. For both my new name loves ([name]Asa[/name] and [name]Hugo[/name]) the middle name of [name]Grant[/name] sounds and floes well. I love it on both names, but I dated a [name]Grant[/name] once for six months a couple years ago and haven’t spoke to him since. But since I love the name, I’m seriously considering it.
Yet I know that I probably won’t end up using it. It would just be…too awkward.
This exactly. I love the name William but since I almost got engaged to one at one point William and his nn Bill are out of the question. I’d find Wilhem acceptable but I just don’t like it as much. I also don’t think I’d use a name I discussed as a potential name for a child with another partner. That would feel a bit odd to me. I might not give that as a reason for a veto but I would definitely try to steer my SO away from that.
