Your theoretical style versus what you'd actually name your child

General Name Discussion
1

So, since I was younger I have always been in tune with naming trends. I have always had likes and dislikes based on these naming trends. Despite my long running love for names I cannot fit myself into a specific “style” of naming that I prefer.

When I had my children, I was extremely torn between guilty pleasures and names I’d actually use on my child. I also had a great amount of difficulty separating these two. What name was a guilty pleasure? Was I being unrealistic in thinking about naming my son [name]Cassius[/name] or my daughter [name]Tatum[/name]? What about [name]Andromeda[/name]? Is even a name like [name]Daphne[/name] too outre?

My husband helped me narrow down the possibilities based on his immediate impression of a name. For our first daughter, I had a short list containing [name]Tatum[/name], [name]Thea[/name], [name]Mara[/name], [name]Valerie[/name], and several more. He fell in love with [name]Valerie[/name], and his absolute love for the name combined with my mutual love for the name made us end up choosing [name]Valerie[/name]. And I do not regret the choice, but do occasional wonder–what if she were a [name]Tatum[/name], or a [name]Mara[/name]?

3 kids later, and anticipating/debating having another 1 or 2 in the next 5 years, I am becoming limited in my choices based on “sibling-matching” names with the rest of my children.

I would have to say that all of my childrens names I [name]LOVE[/name] for who they are and what I expect of them for the future. Their names will help them in the job process versus a child with a more obscure name for example. But sometimes I wish I could choose something that stands out a little more for my next child. My style varies. I tend to like verging on unisex names, strong sounding versus cutsie girl names, and strangely I also like names that peaked in the 40’s and 50’s. My style is eclectic. But I always seem to choose names that are more modern for my kids, or would “fit in yet stand out.”

Examples:
Unisex-y names I love but likely will not use:
[name]Tatum[/name]
[name]Sasha[/name]
[name]Vesper[/name]
[name]Rowan[/name]
[name]Romilly[/name]/[name]Bellamy[/name]
[name]Afton[/name]

Names that peaked ~50 years ago that I love but am afraid to use:
[name]Karen[/name]
[name]Corinne[/name]
[name]Marcia[/name]
[name]Roger[/name]
[name]Miriam[/name]

Names I love but that seem to artsy/out there for a child:
[name]Jessamine[/name] (used as my second daughter’s middle name)
[name]Fiora[/name]
[name]Indre[/name]
[name]Indira[/name]/[name]Indiana[/name]

SO after a long explanation, my question for you is, to you think that the names you love you will never be able to use when you are actually naming children? or are you more daring than I am? [name]Do[/name] you think that sibling names have to be “matching” or “similar” or can you see a [name]Marcia[/name] and a [name]Jessamine[/name] in the same family, or a [name]Tatum[/name] and a [name]Karen[/name] as twins?

Please give me your thoughts on this, as it is really bothering me lately…

2

I guess it’s different for everyone. For me, I won’t put a name on my actual written list if I wouldn’t consider using it. So while I love [name]Susannah[/name]… It’s much too frilly and I hate the nn [name]Susie[/name]. And while I love [name]Roman[/name], it seems to give off a trendy celebrity vibe that I don’t care for.
Now that I’m married, my list consists of names both hubby and I agree on, and then my other favourites-which I’m hoping to sneak in as middles.

To answer your question, I think I can only truly love names that I can see on my children :slight_smile:

3

I have the same dilemma, as I am afraid to use [name]Melisende[/name], but I know it irracional fear and honestly consider using it, as I love it. But, as I know name is not guarantee for any problems or advantages, I don’t think my irracional fear (which, honestly isn’t strong at all) will stop me from using a name I like.
I call some people who know much about teasing and child problems, so they assure me name like [name]Vesper[/name] or Delyela or [name]Snow[/name] are not guarantee for any problems, so I feel much relaxed when I though about names.

4

I definitely have names on my list that I am not sure I’d actually use. I tell my DH that I love the name(s) and add it to the list, all the while knowing that he’ll make a face and declare that no child of his will be named [name]Marilla[/name] (cue my DH singing ‘[name]Marilla[/name] the Gorilla’ to the tune of the Bananas in Pyjamas theme song). So, if he actually turned around and said, “Okay” to one of my more obscure choices, I am not sure if I’d still profess the same love for that choice!
But, I do [name]LOVE[/name] the nn [name]Rilla[/name] and how it conjures up my childhood heroine, [name]Anne[/name] of [name]Green[/name] Gables! [name]Anne[/name] makes the name even sweeter to my ears and heart! Okay, so I’ve just realized that I would use [name]Marilla[/name] but there are names on that list that I think I’d have to throw out if it was really coming down to tagging it to my child for life!

5

I have an affinity to nature names - [name]River[/name], [name]Lily[/name], [name]Rose[/name], [name]Daisy[/name], [name]Skye[/name], [name]Saffron[/name], - and names that I associate with the comfort of my childhood - [name]Angelina[/name] (Ballerina), [name]Beatrix[/name] (potter), [name]Jemima[/name] (Puddleduck), [name]Annabelle[/name] (The name of my first doll) - but only a few of these are what I would consider ‘usable’. I am certainly not game enough to call my child [name]River[/name] [name]Beatrix[/name] or [name]Saffron[/name] [name]Angelina[/name], as beautiful as they are! Also, dear husband would likely disagree!

So, though I have many fantasies of a beautiful hippy-child name, my realistic naming style would be short, pretty names that can easily be spelt and pronounced and don’t conjure up an image of a particular person when you think of them! Hopefully convince hubby to consider a few of the nature ones though! :wink:

6

We don’t have children yet, so I can’t say for sure what will happen when we actually have to name a human being. My theoretical style is way out there. I’d name my children [name]Pandora[/name], [name]Winter[/name], [name]Snow[/name], [name]Pagan[/name], [name]Isabeau[/name], [name]Rune[/name], [name]Clover[/name], [name]Wilder[/name], Kestrel or Magpie if I lived in a bubble. My partner actually likes most of those, but he doesn’t think they work as first names, and asked that we keep them as MNs. When the time comes, I don’t know if I’d fight for any of those names as a FN. We both love [name]Isabeau[/name] to pieces, but worry about teasing. And then [name]Pandora[/name] and [name]Wilder[/name] might be worth it to me. We shall see.

There are definitely names I love that I have already decided I’d never use, and those are reserved for pets or characters in my writing. Greenley, [name]Isolde[/name], [name]Sabine[/name], [name]Thisbe[/name], [name]Jasper[/name], [name]Oswin[/name], [name]Halloran[/name].

And then there are the names that we both love, but are much too popular for us, or we think they might get popular. [name]Charlotte[/name], [name]Tabitha[/name], [name]Theo[/name], [name]Gabriel[/name]. I don’t think I’d use those, even loving them. I’d rather my child have a name nobody has ever heard of than a name that they share with everyone. Ideally, we’ll find a name somewhere in the middle, but if it comes down to [name]Snow[/name] or [name]Charlotte[/name], it’s going to be [name]Snow[/name].

I do feel that names have to be similar. I don’t think they have to match so much as just feel like they work together. [name]Marcia[/name] and [name]Jessamine[/name] or [name]Tatum[/name] and [name]Karen[/name] aren’t terrible, but I would definitely prefer seeing a [name]Jessamine[/name] and [name]Tatum[/name] and a [name]Marcia[/name] and [name]Karen[/name].

7

Like someone said above, I wouldn’t spend ages thinking about a name or combinations of names that I wouldn’t actually be willing to use on kids. I see it as a waste of time.

I don’t think sibling names have to share the same style. [name]One[/name] day I might end up with a [name]Rose[/name] and a [name]Vasiliy[/name] and I expect people will just get used to hearing ‘[name]Rosey[/name] and Vashka’ together so it’ll sound more and more like they go together as time goes by.

8

I have 5 children and I can’t say that their names all fit stylistically because I guess they don’t. I have month old twins named [name]Scarlett[/name] and [name]Murphy[/name]. We knew that we would probab;y get comments like: ‘Oh, there very different, you know [name]Scarlett[/name] being quite common and [name]Murphy[/name] being somewhat unusual.’ and yeah we dog get those comments but it really doesn’t bother us.

For me, it really doesn’t matter whether the names ‘fit’ together stylistically because everyone like names that comes from all sorts of different genres. What doesn matter to me it that they sound good. For examples my children are: [name]Eliska[/name], [name]Gabriel[/name], [name]Naomi[/name], [name]Scarlett[/name] and [name]Murphy[/name]. I personally feel that my childrens names fit perfectly but some names are more common than others. But I think that as long as they flow nicely then its perfectly fine. Something like [name]Hayden[/name] and [name]Kayden[/name] as siblings is a big no no but [name]Tatum[/name] and [name]Karen[/name]? Yeah, I think it could work.

[name]Bree[/name]

9

There is no disconnection here. If I like a name, I’m going to use it, and I don’t think my naming choices are too ridiculous.

10

My style is a little out there for the UK, but I’m not afraid of using names that are different. [name]Ezra[/name] has been completely bashed on a UK site I use but I think it’s perfect, while [name]Pandora[/name] and [name]Persephone[/name] are favourites of mine for a girl.

I would want siblings names to be of a similar style so something like [name]Tatum[/name] and [name]Karen[/name] wouldn’t work at all. I like some shorter girls names like [name]Ruby[/name], [name]Freya[/name], [name]Isla[/name], [name]Jovie[/name] but they don’t look right alongside [name]Arabella[/name], [name]Matilda[/name], [name]Clementine[/name], [name]Valentine[/name] etc.

11

I don’t necessarily want matching names, but I want my children to have names that give me the same kind of image in my head, and I want all their names to be stong and capable, so a lot of names I like have been eliminated for that reason. I also don’t want bad associations to their names. So I could name my children Chayyim and [name]Tempest[/name], because to me they both fulfill my (and boyfriend’s) requirements even though they are different styles and of different origin.

12

All of my combos are names I love and would use, I do have some gp names, such as [name]Cameo[/name] and [name]Calico[/name], but I don’t go through the effort to find a combo if I wouldn’t use a name.

13

Thank you all for your responses. Very thoughtful and interesting.

14

My daughter is a [name]Calico[/name]. I loved [name]Olivia[/name], but by the time I was pregnant, it was back to theoretical because it was just too popular. I had a set middle name ([name]Lee[/name] or [name]Leona[/name] for a girl, [name]Leon[/name] for a boy, after my grandmother [name]Leona[/name]), so any name that didn’t sound right with it went off the board.

15

When it comes down to actually naming a child, I usually start all over again with my list, lol. I don’t know why, I just start feeling like nothing I liked before seems nice and shiny anymore if that makes sense - all of a sudden they feel lackluster and boring.

I love a lot of really obscure, out-there names, but when it comes down to it, I am more reserved with what I might actually use. Last time, I went with what other people wanted and regret it, the name is way too popular for me, next time I am determind to go with something uncommon and with more personality.

16

I don’t add a name to my list unless I can see myself using it.

17

Oh, I definitely have a different theoretical style and my husband’s opinion had the biggest influence on deciding with names we actually used. I love frillier, old-fashioned names like [name]Beatrice[/name], [name]Rosalind[/name], [name]Juliet[/name], and [name]Clara[/name] but my husband did not like many of these. He likes more solid classic names like [name]Catherine[/name], [name]Caroline[/name], and [name]Audrey[/name] and so we had to find names that we both liked. Fortunately, these categories weren’t too different from each other so we were able to compromise. If I had free reign, I definitely would have used these “theoretical” names, but I’m very happy with the names we picked: [name]Alice[/name], [name]Molly[/name], [name]Jane[/name], and [name]Lucy[/name] (with the nickname [name]Lulu[/name]).

18

I’m a teacher so I like anything I don’t have to hear or say 500 times a day. There are certain names that I associate with kids I have taught or people I have met. There are certain names I find myself saying over and over every year. I could never use the name [name]Michael[/name] or [name]Aidan[/name] or [name]Victoria[/name] or [name]Mackenzie[/name] or anything oo mainstream for my own child. I think a name can make you blend in or stand out and it’s much more fun not to blend in. I hated growing up sitting in a class with other kids that had my name. My theoretical and actual style mesh fairly well. My son’s name is [name]Diesel[/name]. That says it all.

19

I have the same issue. In my baby-naming dreams, I would give my children dramatic, sci-fi, noirish names like [name]Vesper[/name] and [name]Severin[/name], [name]Salome[/name], [name]Roark[/name], [name]Hart[/name], [name]Tempest[/name], [name]Verity[/name], etc. but I end up thinking that — for boys, [name]West[/name] [name]Virginia[/name] booze running names like [name]Ellis[/name], [name]Boone[/name], [name]Munro[/name], [name]Cal[/name], and [name]Hayes[/name]; and for girls, dark yet elegant names like [name]Cecilia[/name], [name]Mara[/name], and [name]Tess[/name] ----- seem to satisfy my taste for names with bite but are still not totally out of the ordinary. My tendency is to put the wilder names in the middle i.e. my son’s name is actually [name]Wilder[/name] lol but his first is very normal and strong. I love crazy middle names.

20

Also, re: sibling themes, I don’t think sibling names need to be similar in the least. I’d much rather see a sib set with totally different names than sibs with very similar names. Who cares if they “go together”?