Oh I love that so much @pacifica. So excited to see our little one.
I wonder if we will have a smaller group this time.
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It’s possible! But the more the merrier of course.
I can’t wait for everyone who hasn’t already to see their babies. And hey if there’s anything ultrasound related anyone is wondering I can try to answer!
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[name_f]My[/name_f] 8 wk appointment is at the end of MAY. I’m dying. Still haven’t told hubby. With every other baby he’s known right away. Sometimes before me! He’s so sensitive and I’m so oblivious 
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[name_f]My[/name_f] 8 week (first) appointment is on Monday… and I am both excited and terribly nervous. It’s so hard to let myself get my hopes up and feel excited after the loss I had a few months ago, but I’m hoping my ultrasound shows everything is fine and that will take some of the anxiety away.
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I wish you both peace in the waiting period 
time will pass and it’s okay to feel nervous. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
First (phone) visit is tomorrow but in person is next week. I’m hoping they’ll be able to let me know when they order a dating ultrasound… I’d really like to have the internal scan for more accurate dates. I’ve been estimating December 23rd but I’m not sure. Last period I know the exact day but ovulation is a question mark.
@kapaza do you have a thought about when you’ll tell your husband?
@hvnewton
I never get over the fear that something is not right until that baby is in my arms. Then I somehow think that I can protect him or her from everything bad that comes our way, when in reality, I can do very little to control any of it. I mean to be encouraging, as scary as it seems. Loss seems to make every little snatch of life even more precious.
[name_f]My[/name_f] first sonogram after [name_m]Daniel[/name_m] passed away was awful. The sonographer was harsh. She refused to talk about what she was seeing (even the basic structures), and that was strange because the previous sonographers were so friendly without crossing that “doctor/sonographer” boundary line. (Whatever… I fully believe that some sonographers know just as much as doctors). Then the doctor came in to do the exam, and —get this— didn’t even mention the sonogram until I asked on her way out of the room. Her response was “If there was anything wrong, I would have told you.” Totally uncaring about my previous experience. That and a few other situations were the red flags that I needed to find a new care provider. I ended up doing just that at 38 weeks, which was apparently a huge bummer for them because something about insurance pays providers after the baby is born? I don’t know how that all works, but hopefully they learned a lesson. So glad I didn’t deliver there.
I am sure your appointment won’t be that bad! Can’t wait to hear about how it went!
@pacifica
I didn’t know that the internal sonogram was more accurate for dating! That’s good to know. You are going to have a baby right around Christmastime! That’s so exciting. Sometimes I imagine how far along I’ll be around Thanksgiving, how big I’ll look in the [name_f]Christmas[/name_f] pictures, etc. It makes it feel more real 
As for telling the hubby… I’ve kind of decided it would be funnier not to. That might sound strange, but I mean to “not tell him” in a way where it’s kind of obvious that it’s not true. Like I’m in denial. Which is exactly where he’s going to be. Denial. We can’t be pregnant again. Dude, don’t you know how this works?! This is our 6th baby!! Lol He’s so worried about another baby that I think it might somehow soften the blow. It could be a terrible idea, but he’s on high alert for me to start my period “any day” now. So my plan is to just act like everything is normal and that I am just not having periods because I’m still nursing my youngest two kiddos. Which I thought was true before that first week of 26 pregnancy tests (no joke).
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you all have any fun sharing-the-news stories?
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I’m sorry to hear about your experience with [name_m]Daniel[/name_m]. It’s entirely possible that your health-care team was ‘hardened’ to dealing with a loss and missed opportunities to be empathetic to you. They absolutely could have shown more compassion! The doctor’s response was unacceptable and I’m upset for you. 
What I’ll say is it is a tough position for ultrasound techs because as you mentioned, we can’t diagnose and can only share limited information with patients. We do pretty much always know what we’re looking at, you’re right about that, but legally could get sued or fired for stepping outside our scope of practice. I tend to handle losses like pointing out anatomy to parents during the exam and remaining calm and still engaging in small talk like any other normal appointment. If I get questions like ‘Is everything alright? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you see a heartbeat?’ I unfortunately have to say that I’m unable to say yes/no but that I will review things with the radiologist and we’ll see what next steps are. [name_m]Said[/name_m] as gently as possible of course but yeah, it’s hard to be in that spot because I wish I could be upfront and it feels like I’m being insensitive when that’s not how I’d like to act. And then usually our radiologist or their doctor will handle the news giving. But people don’t just walk out the door with no information in any case, that’d be terrible.
Had the phone visit today and it was with a nurse and we just went over a bunch of history questions and she let me know some things about the practice. Sounds like I can request to see a midwife each time unless I become high risk but that it won’t be the same person every appointment necessarily. She also is going to put me in touch with a centering group of parents due around the same time. Hopefully the dates and times will work out with my schedule-- don’t knoe ehat they are yet. Not sure I’ll be able to go to this one since it’s in person and in a city a little over an hour away from where I live. If not, I’m definitely interested in finding something similar because having people going through it with me will be so nice and we can learn from each other. Same with this thread!
Also very exciting is she said the midwife will do a dating ultrasound at my first visit so I’ll get to see little guy or gal in one week!! 
But yeah generally the abdomen ultrasound is okay for dating a pregnancy but the transvaginal scan is better for early on scans under 9 weeks when you’re overweight like myself. So that’s why I’m glad they will do one.
Re: telling people, I’ve only told my parents, best friend and the intern at work who I also consider a friend at this point 
The only memorable story was my folks.
[name_f]My[/name_f] dad’s birthday is [name_f]May[/name_f] 15 and so I texted my mom with an idea of taking him to Top Golf to celebrate and we talked details. I agreed to book it. So when I came over that evening she thought I was surprising my dad with the booking! I brought a card and so she was like okay (Dad) you open it! He did and saw… a card with a stork and “arriving soon, grandchild #1 [name_f]December[/name_f] 2024!” And was… speechless. I then was like come on dad, what does your card say? 
and he read it aloud and my mom was shocked. And then kept asking “Are you pregnant??”
It was so cute. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad actually cried happy tears. They were both excited but my mom was shook because she says she always knows everything but I slipped this past her 
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As for telling people:
When I told my partner, I didn’t actually get to tell him because our work schedules are opposites and he wasn’t home when I needed to leave for work. So I left my test on the bathroom counter for him to see (and react to on his own, he doesn’t like being put on the spot like that emotionally). He sent me a message a few hours later and was like “sooo…. when does this test turn real?” (meaning when do I go in for an appointment)
Like two days before I found out I was pregnant, I had a dream that 2 of my sisters were pregnant and I told our sister group chat about it and joked they needed to pee on a stick. So when I got my dye stealer positive I replied to my own message and said “it was me, i’m the dummy who needed to pee on a stick” lol
I haven’t told my parents yet, but the plan is to tell them on Mother’s [name_f]Day[/name_f]! This will be their 13th grandchild, so I’m planning on doing a “baker’s dozen” theme with donuts that morning.
I think the funniest so far has been the few people at work who know. I wasn’t even going to tell them, but we have a coworker who we swear is a walking pregnancy test because she’s accurately looked at people and said they’re pregnant, sometimes days before they find out they actually are. And a few days before I tested, she looked at me and gave me the eyebrows 
so the day I got my positive I walked into the office with said coworker and my boss and said she’s never allowed to look at me again lol. She has also given me the eyebrows again while she was talking about when she had twins…. so if I get to my scan on [name_f]Monday[/name_f] and it turns out to be twins I’m going to make this woman play the lottery for me
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I had a lovely idea of surprising my husband with a positive test, but I took the test as a throw away ‘maybe it will cause a period’ because I was sick of what I thought was PMS symptoms So I got the positive (and then a second) and then stuck my head out of our ensuite whilst he was still in bed like ‘I THINK I HAVE A POSITIVE?!?’. Not quite the level of romance and mystery I had imagined.
The next people I told was my closest group of friends, I sent them a picture of (3) positive tests with ‘good morning’ and that was all. They freaked out to the level I hoped they would - they all knew we were trying because it took us 16 months and I am a very external processor so when I had big feelings I wanted to talk about them.
I waited until about 8 weeks to tell my sister mostly because I wanted to tell her in person and she happened to be away and then I was away etc.
I’m waiting until after the dating scan to tell my dad. This is the first grandchild for both sets of parents but my dad is the only one of his siblings to not be a grandparent (multiple times over, really it’s a natural consequence that his siblings had their first children at age 17-22 and he had his first kid at 34). I’m planning to tell him via a father’s day card addressed to ‘granddad’ with a scan in etc.
[name_f]My[/name_f] dating scan is in just over two weeks and I’m so excited and also very scared. I have two friends who had really heart breaking experiences at their dating scans, and I just need to keep reminding myself that just because I know two people who that happened to doesn’t actually make it ‘common’.
I have been actually sick for the first time today. [name_m]Lucky[/name_m] me. I really hope this bit passes soon once I’m in the 2nd trimester.
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[name_f]My[/name_f] first appointment is on [name_f]Monday[/name_f] and I am sooo nervous!! I’m gonna be extremely busy with work tomorrow so hopefully that will take my mind off things.
I think some of my nerves are from the fact that I have very few symptoms of even being pregnant. Food aversion and random bouts of nausea after I eat, some bloating/gas, and feeling emotional (mostly irritated ) is about it for me at the moment. The last 2ish weeks I’ve barely even felt pregnant at all. And I know that’s not indicative of anything but man does it crank the anxiety up.
The bloat was REAL this week. I know I’m too early to be showing, but my boss’ daughter looked at me earlier this week and then looked at her mom and whispered “is she pregnant? mom look at her belly, doesn’t she look like it?” so that was both confirming and also a kick to my ego lol.
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Honestly what you’re describing in symptoms is the same as what I’m experiencing and yeah, I’m second guessing myself like, is it fine to only feel a few mild things? It just seems like majority of people are throwing up a ton and really feeling out of sorts at this stage but apart from some gas, food aversion, vivid dreams and tiredness I’m like… fine?
But I suppose we are having symptoms of some kind, and that has to be a good sign! Or at least I’m choosing to believe so
Good luck with your appointment!
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This is gonna be a vent because I got SO ANNOYED this morning…
I haven’t told my parents yet. Planning to surprise them on Mother’s [name_f]Day[/name_f]. Well I stopped in at my mom’s (we work together and had work stuff to do) and she was like “[sister’s boyfriend] said last night you were pregnant. Where would he get that idea from?”
LIKE WE LITERALLY HAVE A WEEK LEFT BEFORE THE SURPRISE, IT WAS NOT HIS PLACE TO SAY ANYTHING!!! I was so frustrated.
Anyway, I lied my little butt off and told my mom I have no idea why he thinks that because I’m “literally on my period” (). She seemed to hesitantly accept that answer, but she’s the type to stretch truths in order to get other people to admit things…. so I immediately went into my group chat with my sisters and told them the situation and said they need to BEWARE and DENY DENY DENY so we can keep this up for another week.
It was incredibly frustrating. I’m still frustrated about it. He did apologize for letting it slip, said he let it slip while they were picking up the kids after a night out (so he was drunk) and didn’t realize it was still a secret. But that has not made the frustration die down any.
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Oh NO!!! I’m so sorry 
I hope everyone plays along for the week for you! There is nothing worse. Same thing happened not once but TWICE. [name_f]My[/name_f] sister announced our pregnancy with #3 online before we even told the rest of the family and this time she told my cousin who told pretty much my entire extended family just days before we were going to surprise them. 
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@hvnewton So funny that you dreamed about being pregnant! I have noticed an increase in vivid, memorable dreams as well in pregnancy, even to the point of dreams being an indication of pregnancy beacuse I don’t remember then when I’m not pregnant! I love your plan to do donuts as an announcement. Adorable. And your co-worker. Once I had a patient tell me (at 8 months pregnant) that they couldn’t tell I was pregnant. I’m kind of slim build and I wanted to wallop them, but that would have been unprofessional. I did give a forced laugh and didn’t fix the awkward moment they made!
@Maerad How very exciting to get to share that news with your co-workers! I love that they were so excited with you. Yes, do not waste time worrying over things you can’t control! Love every moment of this pregnancy and the baby you are riiiiiight now carrying! Yay for being sick, because it means something big is happening!!
@hvnewton Tomorrow is nearly today! I am not quite feeling very pregnant either. Just that stray anomalous faint extra line on a cheap pregnancy test! Don’t worry… pretty soon you’ll be huge and wondering how soon labor is going to start and when you’ll finally get that baby in your arms… I distinctly remember being up late with my husband and we both were dying of sleeplessness and he handed me back the baby and told me to “put it back.” He wasn’t talking about putting the baby back in the crib, or back to bed or anything. We had a good laugh over that…. I just saw your most recent post. Not cool. I’m mad for you.
The boss’ daughter… ugh. I love that you found a happy way to frame it. You are probably glowing, dear!
I think you mentioned somewhere that as a sonographer you were not permitted to disclose medical information in a diagnostic way. I totally understand that. I was a hygienist (prior to having kids) and worked for a dentist. We were taught those same boundaries in school, but this sonographer was beyond reasonable. All my other sonographers have been incredibly sweet and engaging individuals who were willing talk about basic anatomical structures without diagnosing. Does that sound like what you’re allowed to do? Maybe I was just lucky to get those other 4 incredibly nice sonographers and normal was the mean one? Haha!
@pacifica I didn’t have many symptoms in pregnancy. I remember mild nausea that was momentary and fleeting. Some notable swelling in my hands with Aurie (#2). Pubic symphisis (sp?) dysfunction (not fun) with Aurie as well, and brown splotches on my face with… Aurie also! Those went away eventually. I can’t remember any more.
Out of curiosity, what country are you all in? I guess I’m wondering if there are any differences in healthcare in different parts of the world. In America, for example, the CS rate is 1 in 3 (horrendous). What I wish I had done, going into the hospital, was to know more about the CS that I totally didn’t plan to have. I think that would have helped me make some different decisions for Elliot’s (#1) birth.
@WildroseofJuillet (GASP!! Dislike!! Dislike!!)
I tried this tactic, but no one got it. That’s Peter (#5)
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I’m in the UK, so my care is automatically midwife-led. I have a named midwife (her name is Liz) and I’ll see her for all of my appointments, birth*, and my post-natal appointments.
(*shift dependent, I will definitely see her but if it’s a long labour/depending on when it starts I probably won’t have her the whole time).
I looked it up @kapaza and I think the UK has slightly higher CS rate than the US (US is 32%, UK is 34%) but the statistics were from 2017 so I don’t know if that’s still the case. I’m not against a CS but it’s not my plan. I got a lot of information from my first appointment that I’m supposed to read in my own time and then at my next midwife appointment (about 16 weeks) we’ll talk it over a bit. My main options are home birth, midwife-led unit, or medical unit. I’m almost definitely going for the midwife led unit.
I get 4 midwife appointments (already had one) and 2 scans as standard unless I am flagged as high risk. I also now get all prescriptions and dental care free for the next year with a form signed by the midwife, which is nice. Hopefully I won’t need much, but if I do it’s nice to know it’s covered (It’s £9.90 per item otherwise).
As a general update I am just sort of constantly uncomfortable physically, and have completely lost the ability to go into our/any kitchen without gagging or being sick. So my husband and housemate have taken over the cooking etc. I want to be happy and excited but honestly I’m mostly just tired and uncomfortable and then I feel guilty because I want this so badly and feel like I SHOULD enjoy it. It’s just a complicated mix of emotions.
Ugh I’m so sorry your surprise got tainted. That’s incredibly frustrating! [name_f]Hope[/name_f] your appointment goes/has gone well today and that you still manage to have a fun announcement.
@Maerad I hope you feel better! I think it’s hard right now to fully enjoy pregnancy between unpleasant symptoms and lingering anxiety in early weeks about things going good with the baby. I’m thinking in a few weeks it will be easier to be present and enjoy things more.
@kapaza yeah essentially! Like I’ll be like “this is your ovary, this is the yolk sac,” etc. It’s definitely possible you got a sourpuss some sonographers don’t like doing obstetric scans and would rather look at anything else in the body! Can’t relate personally, OB/GYN ultrasounds are my fave.
What a cutie [name_m]Peter[/name_m] is! I’m surprised no one caught onto what his shirt implies 
As for me I’m in the US, in the [name_m]Pacific[/name_m] Northwest. I adamantly do not want a c-section and might be wanting a low intervention birth. Not entirely set, but mild pain management and no epidural appeals to me. This is doubly true because the hospital where I’d be giving birth doesn’t have the best reviews for their c-sections… which is scary and makes me even more sure of wanting to avoid that!
Symptoms update for today is I had a bit of insomnia last night that was very unpleasant and for some darn reason drinking water is difficult today. It doesn’t make me nauseous per se but the taste or something makes me not able to chug it. Which sucks because I really need to be hydrating more than I am.
First appointment was a success! Baby is measuring at 8 weeks (which is exactly what I thought) and has a strong heartbeat.
Had a hiccup with my insurance this morning. I’m in the process of getting it renewed and it apparently lapsed as of April 30, so I had to pay out of pocket this morning. But once my insurance kicks in they’ll back date it and I’ll get reimbursed. Was just a small frustration really.
With my history of unprovoked blood clots I’ll end up on Lovenox shots pretty much the entire pregnancy. Which I knew ahead of time but I’m dreading doing those
The only other thing was a pretty sizable uterine fibroid. Fibroids are normal and tend to grow with the hormones so we’re keeping an eye on it. Based on its position though it might make a vaginal delivery impossible and I might be forced into having a CS. My office is pretty good about not forcing CS unless absolutely medically necessary so I’m hoping not to go that route.
Edit to add: was also told the position of the fibroid means I’ll probably start showing sooner than most people do in their first pregnancy!
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Yay for strong heartbeat 
! I’m so happy for you!
Too bad about the shots, though. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad is on blood thinners for life (because he’s had clots multiple times) and he has to take Lovenox when he goes off his usual medicine for procedures. I’ve had to give him the shots before and they didn’t seem fun at all. His belly was numerous colors from different stages of bruising
Yeah, my specialist said I could choose to go off blood thinners after my original 6-7 month stint of them, but if I had any new ones I’d end up on blood thinners for life. That was 5 years ago and luckily no new appearances!
Lovenox shots definitely aren’t fun. I had to have them for 2ish weeks after my gastric sleeve surgery and my legs were a million different shades of purple and yellow by the end. Could have been worse, but not an experience I’m looking forward to for 30+ more weeks.
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[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all! Excited to join this thread
I had a miscarriage in [name_f]December[/name_f], and now I am expecting a baby with a due date that is the same day as the D&C for our miscarriage. So far everything looks great (even got to see a heartbeat this week 
). I am hopeful, but also nervous that I might miscarry again. We would really like to meet this little one
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